Can true charisma be learned?

RishFush · 2014-03-05T05:35:33+00:00

It can be developed. Phil was just born into a great situation in terms of charisma. His family and early teachers knew enough about it to teach it to him young. Same with any other "natural" at anything.

Ok, you need to read this book. The Charisma Myth.

The general conclusion is that charisma is the product of 3 things. Power, Warmth, and Presence. Power is the ability to change the world around you. Warmth is how willing you are to use your power to help others. And presence is being in the moment, focused on who you're with, making them feel important and understood.

I think the necessary ingredient for any charisma is power. And there are many forms of power in many different situations. But if you don't have power, then warmth and presence are not enough to give you hard-hitting charisma. It's absolutely learnable though and I wish you all the best.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2014-03-05T01:51:49+00:00

You can absolutely develop this skill.

I was the MOST awkward person in school. I'm still kinda awkward, but have lots of qualities that make up for it.

A lot of charisma comes just from practicing. Some qualities that combine into "charisma": 1) Smiling (HUGE) 2) Deep Voice 3) Speaking slowly 4) Funny (comes with practice) 5) Interesting things to say

A lot of this will just flow out naturally when you're feeling confident, and feeling good. It's like insecurity locks you up and refuses to let you flow.

aalewis____ · 2014-03-05T08:46:19+00:00

anything can be learned faggot

hestertherabbit · 2014-03-05T02:44:26+00:00

Absolutely, in a way that's the point of subreddits like this and general self-improvement communities. There are definitely "naturals" out there who, usually through some confluence of factors as they were developing (ie a very charismatic father, mother, role model, excellent family support, inadvertent practice, socioeconomic status, etc) became charismatic.

But it can definitely be learned. I know it looks hard now, but think of it as more like language. If you're trying to learn French and you meet a Frenchman, do you think that he was a natural Frencher, an intangible skill they've developed? Charisma's different in a lot of ways, but fundamentally it's still a learnable skill!

2014-03-05T05:12:02+00:00

Yes! No one is cut from a different cloth. Charisma is just shown through being interest in others, and giving them validation. Its your choice how you treat others and how your life turns out.

itsmevichet · 2014-03-05T15:15:54+00:00

Yes and no. More like you can uncover and develop your charisma.

Ultimately there has to be a bit of a spark there. The tools of charisma, like posture, body language, eloquence, life experience - those can be learned and developed like anything else, but they ultimately multiply something more intangible underneath.

That said, the only way to find out how charismatic you are is to enable your charisma by developing exactly those things: posture, body language, eloquence, life experience and the like. The things that make you fascinating to other people.

reachforthe · 2014-03-05T03:28:39+00:00

I've always wondered this!

RandianHero · 2014-03-05T07:50:25+00:00

I think so. But certain people are born with innate temperaments that make it easier, and upbringing plays a huge factor in learning behaviors -- i.e. you're more likely to be charismatic if you grow up around charismatic people.

Soriphen · 2014-03-05T14:24:07+00:00

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legendoflink3 · 2014-03-05T17:32:42+00:00

Ive been working on this. Ive always been funny but I was a shy quiet fellow growing up. Now any girl I talk to says im very confident and would never believe I was once shy. I haven't nailed it down fully as in its not always me. Some days if I get it right from the get go I can walk into a room and take it over. Other times I dont think about it and fail to show it. Things I've learned is to walk into a room happy and smiling. Announce yourself, say hi to everyone. Tell a funny joke here and there. And alwqys have good advice or demonstrate good value. Never look like that guy trying to get some action but be that guy that's there to have a good time in the moment.

IcyHotStuntaz · 2014-03-05T21:37:45+00:00

Dissenting Opinion here,

While I think it can be improved, I don't know that it can actually be learned without an overabundance of work.

Take singing. Could you learn to sing? Sure. But you will spend countless hours of rehearsal only to achieve half of what those that have natural singing abilities have.

What I think you should do is hone the things that you are already good at. Get to the top of your game with those things and work them! That way you actually feel like (and ARE) making significant progress. Work on the other stuff later.

2014-03-05T04:04:04+00:00

It is a skill just like any other. It is no different than learning to play the guitar, writing, painting, or any other hobbies and practices. By honing your social skills and understanding the environments where socializing occurs, you can better understand how to communicate as a whole.

daninthelionsden2010 · 2014-03-05T06:36:33+00:00

Yes. I have learned it over the last four years. When I was in high school, I was a neckbeard- charisma level zero. Last week I played an hour long set to an audience of fifty and got four comments on specifically how much presence and performance charisma I had, from two different full time musicians. I did my best to study other performers- a personal friend who played the house of blues in new Orleans on Halloween, autobiographies of rockstars, and inner game pickup tips. right now I make 20$ an hour playing guitar on the side of the road. Somedays you can feel that charisma you exude, some days you can't. It's definitely one of those attributes.you can"fake it till you make it"

HappyJerk · 2014-03-05T15:30:53+00:00

Not only can charisma be learned, ANYTHING can. One of the problems with our society is that we think that some things are "magic" (love, charisma, etc...). The reality is that everything can be broken down into logical elements. If you think of things as magic, you will never get ahead.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2014-03-05T17:20:35+00:00

Yes, but you have to have something to offer, whether it be something tangible or just the ability to make people feel at ease with the way you breathe.

L1AM · 2014-03-05T04:20:03+00:00

Charisma can absolutely be learned. In middle school I was a complete dweeb. Advanced math class and not a single chance with girls (not that the two are mutually exclusive). I had a crush on this one pretty girl; she was "popular" but she was really nice about it and took my phone calls (my parents encouraged me to caller her at home... old fashioned? Certainly a no-go if you haven't built up attraction). Her friends gave me some shit.

I'm only finishing up high school now and it's a hundred times better. I go to a small K-12 school so their opinions of me are already pretty entrenched, but outside, like I said, I amaze myself. I'm by no means really suave or a "womanizer", but starting with little tips I read here and elsewhere, I've been able to number close just about every girl I want.

Trying techniques that make you come across as confident work; in turn, they make you legitimately confident.

Charisma is a bit more nuanced than plain ol' confidence.

In acting in the theater, there's a constant emphasis on what the other person is doing: by making a scene about your partner, you react genuinely, and genuinely look for their reaction. I think this can be applied to charisma. Confidence is about being happy no matter their reaction. The definition of charisma is "compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others."

By taking confidence, and then taking a genuine interest in the other person, in making them feel good about themselves, and essentially giving them what they want — not in a needs way, rather in a validation and inspiration way — I think you can absolutely become charismatic.

Title	Can true charisma be learned?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	77
Comments	31
Date	March 5, 2014 1:14 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1zl17y/can_true_charisma_be_learned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-true-charisma-be-learned.1367019 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367019

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