Can't F****** approach. Feeling depressed.

nigelazz · 2017-05-31T19:32:27+00:00

Just start approaching slowly. Ask for directions or time at first. Make it a goal to speak to 20 people a day.. Then start approaching directly after you get used to that.. You will find it easy once you start. :)

NTSpike · 2017-05-31T19:35:45+00:00

Well you're doing the right moves, asking for time and directions. I suggest you go to an RSD Free Tour to meet other guys in this or just find a wing in general. Find somebody who can go direct and show it to you in person, and then put the pressure on.

Create some emotional leverage. Give him cash. When I'm feeling anxious I'll give a friend $20-50 to hold onto until I approach.

Ecurbnon · 2017-05-31T20:23:57+00:00

Bro first off I feel you. Like you just described exactly I was going through like a year ago. First stay positive. It's easy to fall in the quicksand of hopelessness. Because when u start emotionally reacting to you not approaching that actually makes its worse. Just knowing that helped me a lot. Also I don't know if you ever tried gaming at malls, malls are good places to because sometimes you see girls sitting down by themselves, there's also girls who sit down to eat at the food court, those tend to be easier for me. And try to find a wing if you haven't already and then you like approach together if there's two girls, it just makes it a lot easier. Lastly try meditating if you haven't. It works wonders for me and don't think a lot when you're out, that will fuck you up. I'm nowhere near expert but I feel your pain and I thought I had to tell you what helped me.

throw162534 · 2017-05-31T21:08:31+00:00

Work out so you gain some confidence. The rest is just pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, walking up to girls and saying "hi". I've been approaching girls for a long time and I still get nervous. You just need to have a "fuck it" attitude and be willing to get rejected.

YouPetroleumJelly · 2017-06-01T01:38:59+00:00

Just go out with the intention of opening 1 girl, as in, compliment, bla bla bla. Try to be consistent.

If I tell myself "approach that girl" I start thinking too much, about what to say, if she'll be interested, etc. If I tell myself to just open her, and think about nothing else.. not only do I approach with more ease, I also end up feeling less nervous as the conversation goes on.

enkae7317 · 2017-05-31T19:45:20+00:00

If you've asked for time or directions, then you have approached. The problem to me seems like you can't get pass the opener and actually start talking or having a regular conversation.

If you're new don't be afraid to use a routine/opener. I know they're corny but they get the girls talking at least past 30 seconds. Then introduce yourself.

Conspera · 2017-05-31T21:12:21+00:00

Find a local PUA community. It will make approaching a lot easier. Trust me.

poonishapines · 2017-05-31T22:43:09+00:00

You're concerned about the false pretense of asking for directions only to open.

Try walking around and compliment a girl on something with no intention of opening her. See if you're more comfortable with that. If you find that you are, begin allowing a conversation to unfold after your comment. Good luck.

issakite · 2017-05-31T23:31:27+00:00

then don't approach. do things with other people. volunteer or join a book club. maybe social circle is better for you

klickclackbang · 2017-05-31T23:47:57+00:00

Beating yourself up over not approaching in your state is completely counter-productive, like putting a band-aid on a bleeding gash. Your "failure" to approach will only create a self-feeding downward spiral that'll make you hate yourself more and, eventually, give up. You have an extremely negative self-image and no social skills, both things that can be fixed.

You need a much broader approach, man. You need to fix your life. Work out, find a hobby you're passionate about, join activities (sports, games, music, whatever) that will put you around other people on a regular basis. Start chatting with everyone you see, whether it's the old lady at the shop or a little kid in the neighborhood. Improve your career or your academics, at least set goals to motivate you.

Right now, for you, even the connotations that come with the word "approach" are working against you. "Oh, shit. I must 'approach.' Time to perform! Push through it, shit!" For now, just start thinking about being social, fun, and relaxed.

Whatever you do, don't give up. I promise you, no matter how bad you feel now, it'll be nothing compared to the regret and disappointment you'll feel later.

The only way out is through.

Woujo · 2017-06-01T00:55:09+00:00

you're reading too much! reading actually increases approach anxiety. go do!!

MadMontux · 2017-06-01T01:31:15+00:00

being direct and stating my real intentions scare me

You just stated the route of your problem. You have an irrational fear of stating your intentions. This may be because of some occurrence in the past, probably childhood/teen experience of when you tried to state intention and then got blown out in one way (ridicule by others or rejection).

Recognizing the fear and why you have fear are the 1st steps to overcoming it.

In terms of approaching, have you tried looking for wings? They can be great when you need extra motivation. You don't have to be alone trying to overcome this.

rgmrekh · 2017-06-01T05:24:29+00:00

Wow so I misread "I recently got into KKK and I've talked to people...". That's not a good way to meet girls.

fishbabish · 2017-06-01T13:51:18+00:00

Check out rsd max fearless

Jack__Knife · 2017-06-01T14:34:41+00:00

Start with a girl at your same social level. I hear there is a happening nightlife there. Look for the girl with the slight muffin top standing alone.

Jack__Knife · 2017-06-02T15:06:50+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1TZc2GsFi4&feature=youtu.be

_TurnuptheSun_ · 2017-05-31T23:21:15+00:00

I think at this point in your life you should focus on improving your own opinion of yourself before you get stuck into game, It'll give you a better point from which to start off and build apositive mindset. Make a promise to yourself that you will consciously make the effort not to think negative shit for a day, then a week, then a month, and watch yourself slowly evolving into a more positive, self-respecting man. This video really helped me get over this mindset, so it comes highly recommended: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RyPrTs8vgKs

Do as many of the following activities as you can manage:

Set goals the future and challenge yourself to do something that makes you unfortable every day (escape your comfort zone).

Take care of your health/appearance: start lifting weights, meditating and eating better, and invest in a decent haircut and well-fitting clothes.

As for approach anxiety, when you're ready, watch this video and use the techniques therein to power through and eliminate it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-qQLvT_SNVw

HeavyRainx · 2017-05-31T23:27:04+00:00

Honestly the first time I finally approached I thought about how short life is and how insignificant this one moment in my life will be. Once you make your first approach they become easier if you keep approaching new girls.

PM_MIATA_PICS · 2017-06-01T08:04:02+00:00

Talk to girls you have ZERO interest in. Get their numbers. Discuss things with them, learn how to get to know someone and establish romantic intent. Then, when you're feeling confident, approach women you find attractive. Wake up early, take a shower, mentally prepare to go out for the day and approach. Eat a good breakfast. Dress well. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you're going to approach today. It doesn't matter if they say yes or no or run away screaming, it just matters that you take steps forward and make an approach.

Title	Can't F****** approach. Feeling depressed.
Author	95555555555555555555
Upvotes	25
Comments	22
Date	May 31, 2017 7:16 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6eh8cp/cant_f_approach_feeling_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-f-approach-feeling-depressed.1425469 https://theredarchive.com/post/1425469

Comments