Whats up guys, I wanted to hear your opinions about what congruence is. RSD pimps it up, they define it as "Your thoughts, words and actions are aligned" but I don't understand what that means.

Some say congruence is acting according to however you feel. e.g. if youre tired be tired. If you're sad, be sad etc.

Some say it is about showing your intent. e.g. Not asking for directions, instead telling her you like her.

Does this mean if I am in a very low energy, fucked up mood, burned out from my job, and I walk up to a girl and say "hey, I'm really tired but.. I think youre cute" it's gonna work?

I can open girls when I'm in a good mood, or in state, and it goes well. But when I get into a relationship, I wake up shitty next to the girl, especially because I work from home. She sees me stress over my work, feel fucked up etc.. and I can't sustain relationships.

RSD Tyler defines congurence as thoughts, words actions aligned. But then he defines clarity of intent the same way too.

Julien says people aren't Purposeful (aka no humph behind their actions) and then says their thoughts words and actions aren't aligned. Bro, I am like a zombie out of my dayjob, how is having humph gonna be congruent?

Am I the only one who feels this way?