[deleted by user]

vardarac · 2022-05-12T21:34:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

External_Lifeguard49 · 2022-05-12T17:59:49+00:00

Your overthinking about what to say. Just be light and relax.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-05-12T16:05:20+00:00

Your filtering yourself. There is energy and exciting conversation you can bring, but your stuck in self judgment so you hold back. The only way to change this is to take little social risks, learn that you can recover from anything, and practice a lot. Learn to let go of the outcome.

As most things go, it’s all about inner game. It seems like outter game, but it’s the conversation in your head and experience stepping out of your comfort zone that is needed.

igrowgra55 · 2022-05-13T02:35:23+00:00

Greetings Gentlemen,

I stumbled upon this sub in my feed for some reason. And I just happened to see some of the Q & A on here. I would like to shed a little light on the subject if I may. Keep in mind, these are MY experiences. But it may help...

As an old man who has been married for almost 20 years, I am THAT guy. You know the one. The guy that's a decent looking fella. Nothing special. But has the "What the F is she doing with him" wife.

I wouldn't have even gotten a date with her if I hadn't done a few simple things.

1) Shut the F up. You want to talk to women. Fine. Asking questions is talking. Ask about her, what does she like, what does she thing about..."add subject". Stay away from politics, religion and stupid "triggery" shit like that. Let her tell you about her. Let her dominate the time. You'll never lose being a good listener.

2) Respond without rich details. While she's talking. Look her in the eyes and smile. Make gestures like nodding your head "yes". Every so often verbalize that yes. Or "oh yeah, definitely". If she asks a question of you. Respond but don't get super detailed in your answer. Leave a little mystery for "Date #2"

3) Be funny dammit! Simple rule. Be a protector, be sincere and gentlemanly, and be funny. Make her laugh and smile. (Comment on that pretty smile - tell her you like to make her smile and you feel calmer and more relaxed knowing she's happy). Don't be afraid to be mildly self depreciating for the sake of a being funny and down to earth.

4) Never...NEVER try to solve their problem for them by lecturing them with your "solution. Nine times out of ten, she doesn't want you to "fix" things. She wants you to listen and identify with her dilemma. I know, I know...we're guys! We fix stuff...don't. If she wants you to fix it, she'll ask for it specifically.

Guys, just be genuine. Be thoughtful. Be chivalrous. Be a protector. And be honest....with yourself and her. That may not be "the one" But "the one" may be watching how you treat her. Women are ALWAYS taking notes!!

rhofire · 2022-05-12T16:40:07+00:00

any way to do get over this?

Yeah, talk less and make more moves.

ksmith11011 · 2022-05-13T03:23:34+00:00

Always say the obvious thing, go for the easy jokes, don’t try to hide the fact that you’re making it obvious you’re interested. Let your obvious implied interest be the flirting, while the content of your actual conversation seems innocent. Flirting feels uncomfortable because you think it’s unwanted, but that’s the point of flirting. You have deniability even if it’s thinly veiled.

Practice “squaring up” slightly to women almost like the way you would a man you were trying to intimidate. Except instead of fighting, you’re just going to have the normal conversation you would have had while maintaining eye contact way more than normal. Step in slightly too close for this normal conversation. The proximity and eye contact will make it an intense feeling conversation even if you’re discussing the weather.

Little things like that. I’m not great at it, I just know a couple tricks. They eat that shit up though, I think it plays on their fantasies about being dominated.

Schroef · 2022-05-13T07:45:16+00:00

By asking questions, listen to her answers, ask follow up questions

Chamizo4 · 2022-05-13T08:50:04+00:00

No routines, no strategies, just Talk about something you really like.

I talk about anime and videogames most of the time and I always end up with the girl interested in showing them anime and videogames in my room.

Also, read a lot of books, do interesting stuff yourself.

That way, you will never get afraid or boring because:

You are talking about something that you are really passionate about.
People will feel that cool energy from you, which makes you attractive.

Good luck my man.

xc4lif3 · 2022-05-12T15:31:00+00:00

What I’ve told others is try and ask open ended questions. Try and keep the conversation going rather than focusing on flirting and being rejected. Let it happen naturally.

FarahKhan62 · 2022-05-13T07:01:31+00:00

Buy some tequila and drink it

MK2718 · 2022-05-13T07:43:12+00:00

How To Be Interesting

Artist-in-Residence- · 2022-05-13T14:04:00+00:00

Well in my opinion, there are two types of "boring" conversationalists. One is a person who only answers with one-worded answers and laughs a lot but doesn't bring anything to the conversation so that you're the one steering the conversation and doing the majority of the talking and second is a person who keeps asking questions as if it's some sort of job interview (eg, what do you do? where do you study? where do you live? how long have you been working there? what do your parents do? etc) lol.

I don't know how you define "flirting" but for me, usually I'll tease the guy a lot and poke fun at him to assess his reaction. If he has a good sense of humour and teases back (but not in a mean way) then that's a good way to keep interest.

However, you should first find out if you have a kind of natural chemistry first and then go on from there.

yeezysucc2 · 2022-05-15T16:03:59+00:00

talk about anything and see her interest, you are not weird for liking certain things, activities, there’s someone for someone. it’s not about what you say it’s about how you say it. hold eye contact, make covert sexual jokes (watch the energy) and then let her talk about her self. take the pressure off yourself. you are worth it man

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	22
Date	May 12, 2022 3:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uo3pjo/how_do_you_talk_to_girls_without_being_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1259849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259849

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