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[–]poly_nerdy_panda 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I fucked so many girls that said they just want to be friends lol
[–]Paltenburg 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah they just want to feel zero pressure to put out.
[–]Classic-Match-7154 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100% I was on a date went really well walked her home, she gave me a hug said your a nice guy, I'm not feeling it and we should be just friends.2 weeks later we went out with some of her coworkers again walked her home..had to use bathroom next thing i know i'm licking her and bedroom fun ... 🤷🤷🤷
[–]CompetitionFair7686 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What you are missing is that you don’t create sexual tension when you first meet them in person.
Basically, the problem is that you don’t flirt and instead you have what is known as a safe, platonic, friendly and polite conversation where your sexual interest in her has not been expressed, you don’t make the conversations man to woman it all feels safe, and like you are talking to your sister at best.
So that’s the problem, you are playing it too safe, you are not expressing your sexual interest either because you don’t know how, or because you are afraid of being seeing as a creeper or coming on too strong.
The girls you like need to feel that you want to fuck with them, right now it doesn’t seem like they feel that; it all feels like you just want to get to know them and in a friendly way.
[–]WilhelmTrooper 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can you elaborate?
[–]FuckLeHabs 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think they mean be more playful, take risks and tease. Touch and generally be more polarizing than safe with your opinions and stuff. There's a lot of other comments oi here mentioning these things
[–]FuckLeHabs 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Eye contact is important too
[–]nevertextgoodnight 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I'm not looking for a relationship either. But I'm interested, so what did you think this date was?"
Get them to talk it out and see what their reservations are so you can talk through the obstacle and minimize their concerns
But ultimately you know in your head if they keep harping on friendship then politely offer to walk them to their car. So you have to feel each one out. That's if you want to invest that much energy
To be honest it's hard to tell why this has happened to you more than once without all the details of each interaction
Keep in mind all relationships start as "friends with benefits" until the woman brings up exclusivity so treat them all the same
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
Most women are not interested in f*cking. They’re seeking validation, attention and sometimes friendship.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
Which is super weird and should not be the case at all. Not saying I disagree, but that really should not be the way it is.
I guess it's become too accessible that there's no incentive for them anymore.
[+][deleted] -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
Women do not have the sex drive men have. They don’t have testosterone coursing through their bodies. Men and women are sexually incompatible. Women view sex as a chore ,or a means to an end. They can go months or years without it and never miss it. It’s another cruel way Mother Nature has sabotaged us.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I would argue it's more about flicking that switch in their brain that gets them interested in it at all.
Once it's turned on it's a different story, but they guard that switch closely.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They’re genetically programmed to seek out the best possible mate. Looks, status and income all go into this equation. Since women have become more independent, educated and have attained their own status and income more men then ever are disqualified from the selection process.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't disagree there, I share the same beliefs. I also don't hold it against them since they didn't choose to be that way :)
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We didn’t choose to be this way as men. Again, Mother Nature sabotaged us. In almost every scenario men just want to f*ck. In almost every scenario women want to do everything except that.
[–]Ill-Sea-6253 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
This is insanely untrue lmfao. Women have sex drives, very similar to men. They just don’t desire to have sex with every walking penis. Women typically need emotional connection/intimacy before being comfortable enough to have sex with a man. Has nothing to do with sex drive.
Are you a woman?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
. Women have sex drives, very similar to men.
Most women do not. This has been studied already. The average woman's sex drive is about the same as a man with a below average sex drive.
The only time this changes is when women become actively aroused by visual stimuli, like porn or a hot guy. They can go months without feeling any inner desire to have sex, which cannot be said about the average man.
Might want to go study up on this.
[–]Ill-Sea-6253 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Only women are not usually aroused by visual stimuli…. So I do not know how that is true. Porn was made FOR men lmao
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Only women are not usually aroused by visual stimuli….
Just because they aren't by you doesn't mean they aren't by any other men. Women become aroused by a lot of visual stimuli - some of which isn't even sexual or human...... like..... you really need to go read up on this because it's clear now that you don't know what you're talking about.
So I do not know how that is true. Porn was made FOR men lmao
Bruh do you think that women are aliens or something?
[–]Ill-Sea-6253 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely not, but porn was not made for women or with womens pleasure in mind and it is SOOOOOOOOOOO obvious when watching it lmao. But alright.
but porn was not made for women or with womens pleasure in mind and it is SOOOOOOOOOOO obvious when watching it lmao
And that means what? That they aren't aroused by it and/or don't watch it?
You would be wrong. Again.
[–]Ill-Sea-6253 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did I say that? I said that porn was made for men. It is directed at a male audience. So you using porn as your point was, dumb. Considering a much smaller percentage of women even watch it.
And the differences aren’t entirely biological, but rather have huge social and cultural roles/ideologies at play.
[–]RedEgg16 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They do have testosterone, just less (you probably already know but I’m mentioning it for those who don’t
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks
[–]Several-Albatross741 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
This does not make sense and is only a certain portion of women. What happened to the “slut” woman stereotype? Nun type and slut type are two for women. Men have their own stereotype groups.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It’s generally true. Are there exceptions? Sure. People win the publisher’s clearinghouse sweepstakes and some win the lottery too. I just haven’t met any personally.
[–]Several-Albatross741 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The statement men and women are sexually incompatible is contrary to any form of connection between the two genders that has existed throughout time.
And no, most women can’t go months to years without craving sex, let alone having it. If that was the case the world would be much different and less populated place.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Are you a woman? And, it is becoming a less populated place. Have you checked the birth rates in the U.S for example? They’re declining.
[–]Several-Albatross741 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m a man. And your argument is pretty bad. If a woman thinks of sex as a chore, she probably hasn’t been in the most compatible relationships with men before. The decline of U.S birth rate has multiple factors.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
No, it doesn’t have multiple factors. Men and women are not reproducing. My argument is bad? How so? My argument is not directed at high school or college relationships. My argument is directly related to adults in heterosexual relationships that are living together and/ or married. I’ve never known a man in a LTR that isn’t disappointed with the frequency of sex in the relationship. Don’t believe me? Read the countless posts on this site. Find a study that supports men feeling sexually satisfied with the frequency of sex, or the variety of sex in their marriage and then comeback.
[–]Ill-Sea-6253 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
More women are realizing they do not want to have kids in general, because pregnancy sucks, and it’s a HUGE sacrifice.
That’s not the reason. Pregnancy has always been difficult and it’s always been a huge sacrifice. The reason behind it is that there are less couples starting families, because there are less couples moving in together and getting married.
[–]daddysgotanew 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They have an insane sex drive. But only toward certain men.
[–]daddysgotanew 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From you. They’re fucking. But they’re not fucking you
[–]atomant88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not my experience
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah she already found another dude she was interested in before you got the chance. Don’t worry, the same will probably happen to him, and the next one, and the one after that.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They just might want to be friends with benefits. Did you consider that?
That's just a clue to you to not behave in a way that will make them think that you want a "relationship" because their intention is to play the field with other guys and don't want you getting jealous. By all means be their friend, and remind them that you'll always be their friend, and that you will never screw them over.... but maybe you will screw them over and over and over and over !
It is a bit stupid for them to lay out what they expect from the start, but never accept a woman's first reponses as set in stone. As soon as you manage to change their emotions, then everything is on the table.
Once you get them on the meet, then bombard them with patterns to make then comfortable, intrigued, and horny - in that order. Done properly they'll be trying to invite themselves over to your place or vice-versa.
And if not.... stay friends, but limit spending any time with them.
[–]FuckLeHabs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good point.
[–]daddysgotanew 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re not attractive. Sorry
[–]DavidMXXIV 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You need to add a false distancer… right after she agrees to hang out with you, you’re going to text her this: “just to be clear, I’m not interested in hooking up or anything… I just want to get to know you.” Saying you don’t want to mess around is a huge flake reducer. I don’t know why but I’ve had huge success doing this especially with online dates.
[–]FuckLeHabs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I already told her something along the lines of that.
I told her I have no expectations and just want to get to know eachother better
[–]DavidMXXIV 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I really think that’s ambiguous and you might try being more direct with your communication
Thanks. We ended up banging 2 days ago haha I followed some more advice
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You need to create a vibe/masculine presence around them- strong eye contact/sexy eyes, tease them, build narrative about them. Your probably just being friendly or unlucky, but most likely the former.
[–]atomant88 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No. Masculinity isnt needed for game. Romance ? Yes. Sensuality? Yes. Sexual energy ? Yes. Masculinity? No
Sexual chemistry is largely a result of a masculine and feminine polarity, and the stronger the polarity the stronger it is. It doesn’t matter how much you get on, or how similar your interest are, if your acting like a girl around the girl, a relationship won’t flourish or last. This is the difference between being lovers and friends.
[–]atomant88 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
wrong
[–]atomant88 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's good. Keep grinding. Keep working on being romantic, not platonic. Keep trying to escalate with consent
Read the wiki to brush up on your fundamentals. You're asking questions already explained there
[–]Golferama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not your fault, I’m assuming you’re in early 20’s. women now a days are emotionally unstable and can only get attached to a man after they have sex with them. That’s why women are the gatekeepers of sex and don’t like to have sex as much because as soon as they do have sex, they will get emotionally attached and want more. Social media has drastically impacted women’s view on sex and healthy relationships. Most don’t even like being approached or talked to in public anymore. That’s why dating apps are perfect breeding grounds of attention for them because they don’t even have to walk out of the house to feel important
[–]Paltenburg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"just want to be friends"
sometimes this is code for: "try me"
OBVIOUSLY in a respectful way
[–]ImpressiveGrocery959 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are you flirtatious? Are you escalating on dates? Holding eye contact? Do have good conversation?
If you can improve on these there’s no reason you shouldn’t be getting second dates
[–]Quirky_Tale_9739 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are too scared to make it romantic.
[–]Ok_Yogurtcloset_669 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't talk to them like a friend. And don't think about the words you say is not the words it's how you say it, talk to them slowly.
[–]Madafakaaaaaaaaaaa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Say you already have to friends or I'm not good with friends or the things I do with you I don't do with friends... you just got in friendzone because you stay longtime in a friendly vibe and you don't show enough intent and flirt and teasing...
[–]Madafakaaaaaaaaaaa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or she just testing you...
[–]womenareuseless68 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You either did something cringe (depending on your looks you have either 1 fuck up and you’re ghosted/dropped or you have multiple chances because you’re hot) or you’re ugly and she just wanted the free attention.
[–]hagakurejunkie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're blowing it somewhere from the time you get her number to the time you ask her out. You're probably texting them too much and they're losing attraction.
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[–]poly_nerdy_panda 36 points37 points38 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Paltenburg 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Classic-Match-7154 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 20 points21 points22 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]WilhelmTrooper 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]nevertextgoodnight 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (28 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (25 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Ill-Sea-6253 5 points6 points7 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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