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[–]sk07ch 65 points66 points67 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Flirting is playing. Playing with words, thoughts, pointing at things without saying them. Flirting is like humor but does not necessarily involve joking around.
But even more it can be maximizing entering the moment together. Creating an experience. Sharing admiration about a topic together.
[–]Spiritual_Yak5933 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Can you give me an example?
[–][deleted] 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
not op, but:
one example of flirting is doing that thing you probably do with your friends when somebody says something (don’t attack me) a “bit sus”.
you jokingly take it out of context and create a whole new conversation thread b/c it makes the other person explain what they really meant and you both can build on/ contribute to that humorously incorrect scenario.
you have to be comfortable with yourself before you do it tho.
another example would be playful exaggeration, similar to the other method i said above. Say the topic is about making playlists and somebody brings up what their sex playlist is like.
They say “oh i’m in to this kind of music”, (lets pretend they said something weird, like they listen to aggressive music when they’re doing the deed). This opens the door for you to exaggerate the scenario. “are you one of those people that needs to beat someone up to get off? I bet you are.” again, it gives her a chance to play into the scenario you’ve created.
When you’re with your friends, you probably build funny scenarios and storylines together all the time, riffing off eachother’s absurdity. she’s a person just like they are, and she can be as weird as they can be, if not weirder.
basically try not to overthink it. talk to her as if you’ve known eachother for years, as if you’re comfortable in eachother’s presence and I guarantee that like 80% of the time they’ll feel the same way (doesn’t mean they’re automatically into you tho.) hth.
[–]Revolutionary_Wind_8 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’ve never had a girl talk to me about her sex playlist. Then again I’ve never had a girl either.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
that’s ok. if you put in the work, it’ll happen for sure.
id suggest checking out “charisma on command” and craig ferguson interviews on youtube to see a bit of what I’m talking about.
It’ll take time and a lot of practice/ emotional pain, but the progress you’ll make is worth it.
[–]Revolutionary_Wind_8 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you man
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
my pleasure.
[–]darexinfinity 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
So tell me about all the guys you had.
edit: With that downvote, I guess I suck at practicing :(
[–]Revolutionary_Wind_8 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I haven’t had guys talk to me about their sex playlist either. lol
[–]darexinfinity 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why do I feel like I would say something very insulting or inappropriate?
tbh, that's part of what's it about.
You won't be able to say the right thing every time. No one can. I especially have trouble doing this when I'm in large groups.
But, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and every shot you take decreases the likelihood that you'll miss said shots.
You can't calibrate without trying it out and being a bit out of the ordinary is what will set you apart when you're going about meeting new people.
[–]Yuva0 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Scientist huh, how about you research me? 😉
Flirting involves having sexual tension btw you two. It involves crossing a line that may work on her or may not but you have to take the plunge.
You can go the oldie goldie route and say 'Hey, I like this and that' and she will says thanks. But that's about It. You need to create tension to go further.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's good if it's natural, memorizing some cheesy pickup lines would be the last thing to do.
[–]heroyi 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
pickup lines can be fun but they are only for a quick introduction. Still gotta go through the majority and important part of being charming
[–]norwegiandoggo 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You said you liked her accent. That's flirting.
If you like someone, you don't need to flirt by the way. That's a myth..you can just ask them on a date, pretty straight forward stuff.
[–]13Xxx21 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a good start.
Be playful not obnoxiously goofy or be the court jester.
Tell her you like her and that you want to know her better.
If she's really pretty avoid focusing on her beauty it will keep her guessing.
If you got her number don't blow her phone up with texts.
Call her in few days with a plan of a date nothing serious something where it's you and she, no movies or sporting events, a walk in the park, sightseeing in a museum.
Break contact 1st wish thank her for the good time be on your way.
[–]foreignredcars 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
DAMN GIRL YOU SHIT WITH THAT ASS?
[–]Evol_Etah -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's catcalling dumbass
[–]foreignredcars 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
*sarcasm
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Read "Conversation Casonova" or watch Based Zeus channel.
[–]Axedroam 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Based Zeus is the gateway to pick up artist YouTubers
[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yes, never tried pick-up myself but that Zeus guy sounds so educational.
[–]iiexistenzeii 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah great beginner resource
[–]SooPenguins 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you should check out social animal on youtube
[–]stadiumrat 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I learned a lot from the book "How to win friends and influence people". The title sounds corny, but there's gold in the pages.
One main point is to talk about her, not yourself. Joke around, let it come naturally.
[–]TikTakTight 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
push and pull.
Tease and be kind
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Flirting is something you figure out yourself. Everybody has their own style and what works for one guy might not work for you. For example, being overtly sexual or throwing too many compliments might work with one guy, but it has never worked for me. I usually get in trouble and she gets mad if I am too complimentary towards. What works for me is not flirty at all and letting her do all the flirting. I usually just look at her and say thank you. I usually talk about the things I like. People have always told that I'm funniest when I'm not trying to be funny. I guess I just have a cartoony personality. The girl will usually at the random nonsense I say. If I do compliment her, I make sure the compliment is real and coming from deep down. Pretty girls get told their pretty all the time, but I might compliment her on her smarts, her fashion, her nails, and how she makes me feel.
Even though guys on here and in this community tend to run away from telling a girl how he feels. They do it wrong. Your not supposed admit your love to her. That sounds crazy, clingy, and desperate. It's best to tell her that she makes you happy or she makes you feel good or that you could tell her anything/be yourself around her. You could also tell her that she as always been sweet to you. Let her do all the talking.
[–]Rymasq 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"you're a scientist? we should uhh do some research together"
"research like what?"
"ohhh maybe human anatomy"
[–]iiexistenzeii 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
here, read this by u/hunterpua he's a great coach and I love his posts.
[–]yulomax 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm curious, what did you understood about that post? From what i understood basically you sexualize the things she says or does or you do an action that looks sexual but before it turns into one you start talking about something unrelated (innocent) or do other innocent action. I'm asking because i had to read it a few times before i got the point and maybe i got all wrong
[–]froze_gold 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Edit; Best advice ever: A charming person asks a lot of questions.
Talk about them. People - especially girls - always have something to share about themselves.
Flirting - its a paradoxical problem. Thinking about how to flirt will stop you from flirting.
Fumble your words, compliment something they had to put effort into. Feel what you feel about them. Smile, make eye contact, wink. If it feels good, ride with it. If it feels like you have to force a vibe then you're simply missing the part your sub-consciouness is picking up on - they aren't interested..
A simple hey can take you far, if they are open to talking with you and not being cold or standoffish.
[–]redeyerds -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your accent lights me up like a Bunsen burner
[–]Giggidygoose 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t say this
[–]redeyerds 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not good?
[–]Tom1380 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do people find italian accents attractive? I feel like the main thing separating me from a native english speaker is my accent, it kinda embarrasses me
[–]Krunchy_Almond 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have a thing for accents idk why, maybe becuz I want to travel to different places and talk and live like them.
Im sure there are many people like me.
[–]nongo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A scientist? So you’re pretty and smart.
[–]Evol_Etah 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Our babies will be both pretty AND smart.
(BBT)
Edit: Flirting example video link.
https://youtu.be/e2MpOmyQJw4
[–]TexRetroTech 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Start talking about something you like about her without saying she is hot or sexy, which is a red flag for most women. Something like her shoes, watch, jewelry. Compare it to your own. If you're smiling and positive and she reciprocates, your flirting is working.
[–]AndreKnows 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Flirting is something what you do when there is already some attraction, but not out of the blue on random person, this would make you look like a weirdo.
[–]delabole 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My go-to approach is to talk about a movie I've seen recently. And say I fancy one of the actresses. Then ask her what actors she fancies. If you are a girl, it works too, just make the obvious changes. Of course, there's no script from that point on...but another good continuation is to ask what actor/actress you look like or tell them who they look like.
[–]tlthang 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey girl, your accent is cute… are you from California, if not, you would like some California in you?
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