[deleted by user]

DocsWithBorders · 2021-12-04T09:01:25+00:00

I'm high asf rn and I turn to Albert Einstein when I'm high.

Lemme talk some wisdom into you. I been in a relationship for a while so take it or leave it.

First off, your dates sound so fucking boring and awkward as fuck. Just 2 people pretending to focus on the game cuz either of you two have the balls to talk. You're thinking of sex, and only sex. You're so nervous about having sex to the point that you forgot the point of dates, which is to find out more about the other person. Now, ik that dates are an easy way to get pussy, but bitches can tell when ur fake enjoying a date. They will think that you're pretending to have fun just so you can have sex with them.

So how do you make them think you're "genuinely enjoying the date"?

You either git gud at acting, or, or, you can just simply enjoy the date.

So why not just enjoy the date? Rn, she can tell that you don't actually gaf about her. U never ask her more followup questions. Remember when she said something about her siblings or some shit idk and then you changed the subject? She can tell that you don't care, cuz if u did, u would pursue the topic. It then gives her an excuse to tell you something about her "trauma" or whatever stupid shit she's on. So after she says that, she will have "bonded" with you and feel closer to you and trust you more. That's how you get pussy. Bitches are emotional. U make a bitch feel safe and secure, and make her feel that you are important in her life (as if she needs you in her life), then she will give u her pussy. It's that easy.

So what u need to do is: before every date, masturbate until you're not horny anymore. This will relieve any sexual tensions. Then you will have a clearer mind and be able to focus on actually enjoying the date. Remember, you're thinking about whether or not you want to fuck this chick or not. So show some interest in her or at least pretend to.

Make it romantic

"If you had all the money in the world, where would you wanna live?"

"Canada"

"Oh that's interesting, my parents used to live there before I was born. But due to their job they had to move to here, and somehow the stars aligned and now I'm here with yoù, in the Drunken Clam"

Or make it confident, bitches eat that shit up. Fake it if u can't. But if you're going this route and you're faking it, you have to commit to faking it forever. Because she will like you under the false impression that you're confident. So if on the following date, you act like a pussy like you do now, she'll realize that you're faking it. Them she'll know you are faking it due to insecurities and then there's a probability that she might not fuck you. So you could be like meeting up with her in the beginning of the date and you start walking towards her to say hi.

"Hey m'lady, you look beautiful. I really like this jacket (tug on it a lil bit to show interest), the color really matches your jeans."

"Oh wow thank you blablabla"

"So I have two bars in mind, pick a number 1 or 2 and I'll decide which bar we go to"

"1"

"The Drunken Clam it is"

See how these convos are more alive then ur boring ass questions like "what kind of music you like"

U can even be like:

"What's your topic 3 artists?"

"I like Cardi B, Drake, and Megan thee Man"

"Oh no way, recently I been getting into Drake. I really like his lyrics, especially when he said 'she said she's a lesbian and I said me too' ." Jk don't say this ever

Idk man it's not hard, just have fun on the dates like what everyone says. In a hookup, the main purpose of "having fun" isnt to have fun, but to make her think that she's having fun. Only then, will she want to bang you. A shoulder to laugh on becomes a dick to ride on.

Alr guys, I'm high but this is my 2¢ take it or leave it

Therocksays2020 · 2021-12-04T07:10:12+00:00

You went on three dates and never kissed? That’s very platonic of you. It’s most likely that you never escalated physically.

I get it she rejected you the first date but if you’re not at least kissing by your second date it’s probably going nowhere.

doublerumbletrouble · 2021-12-04T08:46:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-12-04T11:51:25+00:00

OP you’re not listening to any of these comments, you’re asking for advice and then disagreeing. No one can write you a script. It didn’t work, it happens. Dust yourself off and try again.

norwegiandoggo · 2021-12-04T07:37:51+00:00

I think poor physical escalation on your end is the biggest issue you should address first. Read up on how to escalate properly. That said, I think she also didn't like you. She liked chatting with you over text but the in-person chemistry was off. This could be for many reasons, including just a mismatch. But you can only solve one problem at a time, and physical escalation is your biggest problem you should address first. The quick breakdown:

Start escalating right from the start of the date.
From casual to romantic to sexual
Two steps forwards, one step back. Take breaks where you back off to leave her wanting more before continuing.
As long as she seems comfortable, continue escalating. If she seems uncomfortable, back off for a bit, then start the escalation from the beginning with casual touching.
If she turns her cheek, you ask her if it was too soon or how she feels. Get information regarding why she rejected your kiss. Not in a demanding or pushy way, but in a "I'm curious to understand you and I don't want to cross your boundaries" kind of way. Take more time, start escalation ladder from the beginning again, and try for a kiss a bit later if she seems comfortable with all the steps prior. In 50% of cases or so (my experience) you can kiss the girl later on the date if she rejects you the first time, provided you didn't wait until the end of the date to try the first attempt.

A date that doesn't have any kissing or sex is best categorized as a bad date. You should lower your expectations regarding the potential of it turning into something more when there's no physical intimacy.

Your second biggest problem next to poor escalation is emotional over-investment. You got wayyy too invested in this girl especially considering you haven't even kissed. You went all in on a stock that didn't look promising. This over-investment emotionally can affect your behavior on the date and make you seem nervous, insecure, needy, desperate and so on. All qualities women generally consider unattractive. The fact that you were so devastated that these lousy dates never went anywhere is indicating your overinvestment.

LeftinthePnW · 2021-12-04T08:12:24+00:00

You hesitated champ. You didn’t escalate and expected things to happen but you stalled. Try again after you gauge her reaction and see if she’s comfortable with your touch. I made the same mistake as you. Learn to read the situation and seriously, go. You gotta learn to not give a fuck and move on. All in all move on though, what you had with her, it’s over. At least she didn’t play with you and doesn’t continuously test you. You’re going thru a limerence phase right now. Look it up. I’ve been there dude.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-12-04T12:41:31+00:00

Yeah, based on your description of the date it seems clear there was no real sexual chemistry between you two. Those dates sound full in terms of romance, they feel more like a hang out between friends than a real date. No flirting, no touching, not kissing, and barely any talking.

She gave it 3 chances for sexual chemistry to spark and it did not happen. That’s more chances than most girls give it.

You didn’t flirt, you didn’t escalate towards a kiss during any of those dates. you did not get into personal topics with her… You acted too platonic, like she was a friend and that’s it.

And then you went full needy with all the bombarding of texts, which pretty much completely destroyed your entire image forever with her.

If a girl ignores you dude never fucking double text her, let alone bombard with texts, that shit ain’t gonna help you at all, it is counterproductive.

damiancontrol · 2021-12-04T07:40:06+00:00

Boy, if you're still talking about trivial shit like what music she into on your third stinking date then you can bet your ass that "relationship" is gonna go downhill.

Learn how to properly escalate.

doublerumbletrouble · 2021-12-04T07:08:53+00:00

No point overanalysing it mate. She gave you her explanation, have to take her on her word for that and move on, for your own sake mate.

It can be a bitter pill when affection and desire for someone isn’t reciprocated. Put it in its box, take whatever lessons you want or need to take from it, remember your value, your worth and move on to your bright horizon cobber!

Ps; happy cake day!

doublerumbletrouble · 2021-12-04T11:25:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MyName_isLame · 2021-12-04T11:40:41+00:00

I know you’re sad but you have to come to terms with the fact she’s not the right one. It sucks. You should stop thinking about all the things you like about her and think more of the things you don’t like about her. That will help you forget her more easily. I’m guessing you might be young and haven’t dated much, so just remember you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your princess. Take whatever you learned from this experience and move on to the next.

Sayywutt · 2021-12-04T13:11:00+00:00

This is why you can't text that much before meeting a person. You run out of things to talk about. Imagine if you had topics you texted about during these dates. She entertained you for 2 months before a real date. You must have been talking about something interesting.

Also, don't text word walls. That's very needy. It makes you seem like shes on your mind 25/8. Chill out with that. There are plenty more women that will come into your life. This one is over.

mysterious-puzzlebox · 2021-12-04T13:30:10+00:00

OP, I am happy you provided a very detailed field report of what happened. It allow us to give a better assessment of your situation.

I will make a few general comments instead of all the specifics (like her music/hum comment, siblings comment etc).

Others said these points very well. But IMO you came across as boring to her and there wasn’t any escalation, so you come across as a friend but worst since you’re being needy. You have to go outside your comfort zone a little bit and flirt with her. Compliment what she’s wearing, you do this by noticing something she put effort into.

Physically escalate in a non-creepy way, it should break the touch barrier. Start light and then try to go for a kiss. She will let you know if she isn’t into it and then stop if so. Sometimes they can reject you for a kiss and kiss you later that night so act cool if rejected.

You are overly needy. You’re texting her paragraphs and explaining a lot of things. That signals low value, low confidence and you’re putting your entire cards on the table. There is nothing about you to figure out. You’re boring to her and almost nothing makes a woman lose interest in you quicker than coming across as being needy.

I learned everything I told you the hard way and you’ll have to learn these lessons too. I would move on from this one. You lost her

Equivalent_Ad7389 · 2021-12-04T14:26:21+00:00

Bro there is so many things you did wrong I can't even explain. Everything just reeks of neediness. You should have tried to kiss her again later, the first time rejection is a shit test just to see how you will act. If she didn't show interest I would've ghosted her and been on my way. Never try and be friends with a girl or win her over, you'll be exactly that, a friend.

Send me your email, and I'll send you a PDF of a book I love called "the secret language of attraction." It's going to teach you how to stop being a nice guy, which from the sounds of it you are.

I can already tell you're trying way too hard to make her like you. Despite what you've learned growing up, this shit DOES NOT work or turn women on, period. They want you to be yourself, like you are with your bros. Say and act the same way you do around anyone else, except flirt, be romantic. Women want to be overwhelmingly desired by a confident and non needy man. Never ever ever, act differently around a girl you're interested in, she will know immediately. Disagree with her sometimes, tell her what you're feeling or thinking with no filter, stop caring how she's gonna view you.

Dude you can sit here and explain what happened to every poster on here, but it doesn't matter and you're WAY overthinking it. Its the fact you gave her that needy vibe. Don't ask girls for permission, you tell them in an assertive but polite manner. The reason is your problem is solely focusing on one girl. You have scarcity mindset, you need to have an abundant mindset. There are plenty of women out there, you have options.

All this "sorry" texting doesn't work in your favor man, it only pushes her away, and makes her feel like she's your only option.

Murrman1978 · 2021-12-04T14:41:57+00:00

Dude. Three dates and you just hugged. You are acting a like a teenager losing weight because of three dates? On average it takes up to seven hours for sex or 2-4 dates. You had your chance. She is not into you because she denied your kiss. Get over it and move on.

Murrman1978 · 2021-12-04T14:45:15+00:00

What country are you from? This ia a pitiful thread.

Woujo · 2021-12-04T14:51:30+00:00

Nobody can tell you exactly what you did wrong because we weren't there, but it sounds like the following:

1) You let her take the lead on dates and set the emotional frame. You were nervous, so you didn't take the conversation anywhere interesting and deep. For example, when she sighed and said "I have a sister" you were too scared to continue the conversation. If you are gonna be scared to take the conversation interesting places, your dates will be boring and colorless. You bored the shit out of her, bro.

2) You acted too needy, especially at the end. You were probably being needy on the dates too and making her feel crowded.

3) You probably acted low confidence and like you were "beneath" her.

Mundane-Currency5088 · 2021-12-04T14:54:59+00:00

She just wasn't into you and was kind enough to tell you. Except you are here not believing her. You didn't "ruin" anything, she said straight to your face you felt like a relative not a romantic partner. But if you took her at her word she could have actually been really into you and just doesn't have the time or patience to deal with you right now. She doesn't owe you her time or emotional support. Some other girl would love those dates and be into you.

RPslimjim · 2021-12-04T15:09:29+00:00

Someone teach this man some Kino!!!

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	43
Comments	112
Date	December 4, 2021 7:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r8jzn1/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1271312 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271312

Comments