Just did a cold approach what do you think? [recovered]

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-11-30T11:30:54+00:00

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2021-11-30T12:14:43+00:00

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ActualFlamingo5 · 2021-11-30T14:09:09+00:00

hell ye dude, I remember my first approach was hella exhilarating. We went on a date but she ghosted me,so if she doesn't call just move on.

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-30T12:42:35+00:00

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caracers510 · 2021-11-30T16:11:53+00:00

Good shit now it’s your choice to either call or text you have to do within 2 days 3 days max if you wait too long she’ll forget about your guys interaction

Dianabayyebii · 2021-11-30T19:02:50+00:00

I don’t see anything wrong with this. You sound like you were polite. If she wasn’t interested, she more than likely would have found a nice way to tell you.

DontTakePeopleSrsly · 2021-11-30T11:36:33+00:00

She was asking the colleague for preselection confirmation, or excitedly sharing the story of what just happened. Either way it’s a positive sign.

Mmm91for · 2021-11-30T15:08:33+00:00

Good work fam

savaj__ · 2021-11-30T18:50:06+00:00

Good job man fr.

saalejo1986 · 2021-11-30T13:24:50+00:00

Nice, but next time get her number against sharing yours... Is very rare that she calles you

Worried_Rip2933 · 2021-11-30T13:49:05+00:00

Congrats!

Woujo · 2021-11-30T19:34:37+00:00

Good job, but a few things:

1) Generally speaking, approaching a woman with ulterior motives and not being honest about why you are approaching is a bad thing. Men constantly lie to women, so starting your relationship off with a lie is not a good look. Also, you need to be genuinely engaged about whatever you are talking about. Pretending like you care about art while you don't is creepy and manipulative. Women emotionally connect with men when the guy actually enjoys the subject matter of the conversation.

2) You probably did not speak to her long enough to actually establish a connection. She will probably not answer your call/text. You need to have at least a 20+ minute conversation usually to reduce flaking.

3) You probably came off needy and over-eager, which is why she scurried off.

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-30T17:44:28+00:00

You missed on two things but that still leaves you with a solid A- for your entire effort.

First, you should have integrated your desire to have a reason to approach her but absolutely not “I’m not actually interested in your work that I just faked interest in”. You are VERY fortunate you didn’t blow it right there. A lot of people get bent by feeling insulted or fooled.

Second with the number I ALWAYS make sure I am not wearing my glasses then I play that I misplaced them and hand them my phone with the add contacts open and ready and ask them to please put theirs in my phone. Then I immediately jokingly say “ok let’s make sure” and call them. Then I’ll say “ok that’s me so add Wilgo to that number so you remember”. That way there isn’t any opportunity for a fake number and you have control of initiation of contact at YOUR discretion/timing. If it is a fake, well then you didn’t waste any time.

magentatriip · 2021-11-30T19:09:57+00:00

Sounds good, she asked YOU for your phone number which gives her the option to text whenever she feels. And her running over to her colleague signals a form of flattery mixed with disbelief. I mean shit what girl wouldn't be thrilled to be asked out in a museum, that's super romantic.

diegggs94 · 2021-11-30T14:12:47+00:00

If you’re a guy, always take their number down. Also don’t hit on people while they’re working, damn. I hope she hits you up

ClearSkies2000 · 2021-11-30T20:09:22+00:00

She wants the D

Lust9897 · 2021-11-30T20:49:18+00:00

A lot of people are saying that it’s bad that you didn’t exchange numbers and that you gave her yours. I think that’s a good thing personally. Puts the ball in her court and doesn’t make you seem pushy. A lot of girls find it attractive when they give her the option instead of being forced into a negative situation.

Ljhasta · 2021-11-30T21:57:27+00:00

Get her to give you her digits then call her on the spot so she has your number.

If it's fake then you can just delete it and move on

RPslimjim · 2021-11-30T23:03:10+00:00

Good work. I’d actually move away from getting numbers and adding each other on social media. If your social media (IG) is optimized and you’re active it can be a big help.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-11-30T23:59:53+00:00

1

I just cold approached a women working in the museum. She was reading one of the exhibits and looked very relaxed so I figured I had some time to make a move....

You had observed relevant information that gave you more than enough to go on in starting a conversation.

2

I was very nervous as I had very little to go off that she would be interested in being approached.

But insecurity is an asshole in the back of all of our minds. And even though you had more than enough to start a conversation, you were second-guessing yourself before you even went in.

3

I asked her what this section on the museum was about. She proceeded to tell me, She asked if I was a student and we had pleasant little convo....

This was a good start.

But it doesn't seem like the conversation was really personalized in any way towards her. Dealing with the public in the museum is part of her job description so this part didn't really have a lot of meat to it.

While talking to her about the museum was a great way to start, finding some way to talk about how she feels about working at the museum or asking her what made her want to work there, would have been more meaningful.

4

then I said I didn’t actually want to know what this section of the museum was about and told her I thought she was cute and just wanted to talk to her, she appeared flattered by this.

You had a good start to the conversation but doing this pulled the rug out from under everything. You basically invalidated everything you've been talking with her about which had been the basis of whatever connection you managed to make.

Plus there's really no way she can respond to what you had brought up. So you killed the conversation. The most she can say is maybe thank you or something like that. Which is a compulsory answer and it's awkward because it's compulsory.

And any woman who has to deal with the public as part of their job will not react negatively if they can help it. They will do what they can to come off polite and avoid conflict in public. So it's pretty difficult to say whether she was actually flattered or not. Given that she scurried off later, it's likely that you made her uncomfortable rather than flattered.

5

Then I asked if she wanted to get a coffee. She seemed somewhat open to the idea and suggested I give her my phone number, obviously your boy obliged.

So you never got to any meat in the conversation. You didn't really connect or establish comfort by getting to know her even a little? If you did you didn't mention it.

Then you blew up what conversation you managed to have with her.

In the future, starting off with small talk like what you did is good, even necessary, but you must transition to following up on things that she's saying with an eye towards getting at her emotions (how she feels about something) and motivations (why she did something). This is the basis of connecting and building comfort which are essential parts of the process here.

6

Side note: It should never be just one person or the other getting a phone number. Both people should be getting each other's numbers.

7

She told me her name and then we parted ways....

Overall I would say if she was an employee of the museum, then you ought to have made some of the conversation to be asking her what it's like working there.

To just walk up to her and essentially ask her to do her job, only to then say not just kidding let's get coffee, is pretty awkward.

And after all that, if all you did was give her your number, then you should just consider this a learning experience and try to better next time because she's not likely to call you.

Title	Just did a cold approach what do you think? [recovered]
Author	Outrageous_Length639 [recovered]
Upvotes	302
Comments	98
Date	November 30, 2021 11:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r5l6je/just_did_a_cold_approach_what_do_you_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-did-a-cold-approach-what-do-you-think.1271510 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271510

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