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[–]blck_mambaa 120 points121 points122 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Talk to her more then and find out.
[–]Therocksays2020 49 points50 points51 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I don’t know what he thinks a bunch of strangers on the internet can say like we know her
[–]Alextryingforgrate 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Driving truck once doesnt make you a truck driver, this keep talking to her. If you can get a good conversaiton going then invite her for a coffee or post work out drink or something. Best to try and catch her when shes leaving for the conversation.
[–]IntrovertedButSocial 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You can chop a 100 trees, nobody calls you a lumberjack.
You can build a 100 houses, nobody calls you a carpenter.
But you suck one cock, and now suddenly you’re a cock sucker.
[–]Alextryingforgrate 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So you got caught sucking dick?
[–]Alone_Runner_6569 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂
[–]blaze_eternal 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't assume she was flirting with you, but in case she was you want to give her an opportunity to clarify.
Strike up brief casual conversations with her the next few time you see her.
If she pulls away, drop it and move on.
But if she warms to you over time, move in for the "kill".
Good luck.
[–]TotallyNuts0 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Usually girls don't initiate contact with guys at the gym unless they are somewhat interested so yes I'd say she may have been flirting. Esp if there were other people closer to her who could have helped her.
[–]Aeon199 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think she's totally into him. What do you think?
I'd say, he should approach.
[–]TotallyNuts0 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I'd approach and if she is interested she will take the time to chat. It's usually very obvious if someone isn't into you at the gym
[–]gangoni 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make a move, be decisive and bold.
you’ve already got competition in other guys in the gym.
[–]theyeetingbro 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a good sign. Strike up a conversation every time you see her but keep it simple like you're talking to a gym partner. Ask about her workout, does she follow a plan, any specific goals she is chasing physique, strength, general fitness etc. Then tell her about your own goals. You can ask what days she usually trains. This will come in handy.
If you all still vibing for next couple days, don't wait too long to sneakily say at the end of the convo 'that's awesome, we should train together this <insert common day>'. Try and keep this day the next possible common workout day even the day after, if timing suits. If she's receptive and eager get her contact and just leave it at that.
Finish your damn workout, then if she's still there say bye or afterwards text your name and say something along the lines 'Hey this is xx from the gym. Catch you on <whichever day>'.
Now it's upto you to steer the interaction. I'd be a little cautious and not too touchy feely in the gym, maybe because I take interest in teaching others but keep it fun. Motivating words go a long way when people are busting their ass at the gym. Then you all can go grab and bite and make plans to hang out next outside of the gym. By this time you'll know if she is genuinely interested or just fucking around and it costed you almost nothing.
Tip: try to set the workout time earlier in the morning so it's easier to convince to go grab a bite, walk around and have a coffee. It extends the interaction by a fair few hours and usually people are buzzing and happy after a good workout. Go get her!
[–]Mmm91for[🍰] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Girls will never initiate contact with guys at the gym unless they find them attractive. Her interest in you is high. Next time you see her, just say what’s up and talk to her as if you would talk to any other guy. Ask her if she wants to workout with you. This will be the best chance you get to break the touch barrier. After the work out ask her what her plans are for the weekend.. she doesn’t have any.. “nice let’s go to…”. And then you smash.
[–]niamhellen 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I've asked plenty of men I wasn't attracted to to help me with things at the gym, grocery store, etc etc. Sometimes they're just the closest tall looking person. 🤣
[–]BassF115 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I don't know why it's considered a huge sign of interest if she asked for help with something. She probably picked the less intimidating one or closest one to her for help. You can only gauge interest by how the interaction went and what happened after.
[–]Dear_Difficulty2767 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
OP said there were other people closer to her that could've helped
[–]BassF115 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's why I said that maybe she approached the less intimidating one, which ended up being OP. And that happens a lot. People don't always ask for help to the person nearest to them, rather, to a person they feel they can ask for help. In a way it's good because it means OP is approachable, but not much else.
[–]Dear_Difficulty2767 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough, either way seems like a positive interaction/development. I go with the general gut feeling, plus if you're thinking of them they probably think of you rule. It might not be true but it's funner that way 😄
[–]JacobMoogberg69 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The gym is the new club. Girls at work constantly talk about stalking guys at the gym and finding excuses to talk to them.
[–]BlipBlapBlop0 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lmao
[–]JacobMoogberg69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It ain't funny. You are degenerate stalkers....and we men love it.
[–]redeyerds 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask her to spot you next time
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She asked you and that is a good thing. Say hello (her name) if you see her again. Keep it friendly. A build up of making a connection is a nice way to start.
[–]dustycolt08 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not necessarily. You will need to talk to her more to find out. I've had many girls come up to me in the gym. They don't always do so out of interest, they may just find you the most approachable(ie: the least intimidating). However, the fact that she finds you approachable is a good sign. Move forward, my guy.
[–]Mario-94 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's hard to say if she was flirting with the given information. I wouldn't assume it. She initiated so theres some level of approachability or comfort towards you but it could also mean nothing.
Is she giving constant eye contact, smiling, working out near you in the gym? That would be more flirtatious. As of now don't assume that, just talk to her. You already broke the ice with an introduction so the next time you see her just say what's up, what are you working on today? and let the convo flow LIGHTLY and casually and you'll definitely pick up the signs.
What you definitely DON'T want to do is be overly flirty too fast and risk coming off creepy or thirsty. She's at your gym and it'll be awkward for the both of you to keep seeing each other there daily and if she's friends with other members she'll definitely mention you to them. Point is dont overthink it just talk to her
[–]Mrcopeland25 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link
In reality she just asked you to help her with a task. That’s all. But use that as an opportunity to get to know her a bit. Say hi to her when you pass her or see her, but don’t go out of your way. Women st gyms start to trust guys once you talk to them and they see you in there for about two weeks consistently. Be more social with everyone in there and then talking to her seems less threatening. You got this
[–]Mario-94 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is good as well
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
It's fine for him to approach her. They've already chatted....
[–]Mrcopeland25 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
reread what i wrote
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Your comment was that there was more he needed to do before approaching her. I am disagreeing. This woman introduced herself. The light is on green. I say that as a woman.
[–]Mrcopeland25 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
no you misunderstood or misread. i said he needed to put in more leg work after the initial conversation. you did not read what i wrote clearly. and you don’t ask a fish how to catch another fish. same applies to women
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are just rewording what you said. And I'm disagreeing as he doesn't need to make friends with everyone at the gym.
That is a dumb analogy here where in this case women want guys who are appealing to approach them, unlike fish. This lady already got things started by approaching and introducing herself. Unlike fishing, there is no deception or legwork needed.
Honestly, the fact that there needs to be any discussion at all over what this guy's next move is is frankly rather sad. Not to dump on OP but like my God. He's questioning whether he can speak to someone who has already approached him and went out of her way to create a connection by introducing herself. If I were the woman in this case and he never reciprocated by approaching and saying hi I would assume he wasn't interested in me. In this scenario it's essential that OP volley back interest and he's questioning whether it's okay for him. It's just like a facepalm sort of thing to read. And the fact that anyone is like "play it cool"....I'm sorry but that's dumb here.
It's not a bad analogy in that fish don't catch fish and straight women aren't always the best places for a straight man to go for advice on building interest or attraction. And he didn't say NOT to approach her. He simply suggested a rather less blunt way of doing it. Which I can understand given it's the gym and not a nightclub.
[–]Aeon199 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I wonder if you be fooling or something, as most women will say guys should not approach at the gym. Further up here, in fact, there are comments that explain if they ask a guy for help, it's because he's the least intimidating, it has probably nothing to do with attraction.
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
If you're really going to argue that her behavior is not a positive sign I really don't know what to tell you.
It's like you all are just too stubborn or insecure or whatever to accept circumstantial evidence and demand direct evidence only, which is never given unless you're extremely lucky. Even then, you'd probably not notice it.
And if this woman didn't want to talk to OP at the gym well then she wouldn't have gone and talked to him at the gym.
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I'm just going by what most of ya'll say. They don't like to be approached in general, and especially not at the gym. There are exceptions, of course, but I'm talking about the standard modality.
Have you been to the women-centric reddits, where they discuss these things? Am I to discount the consensus view on this?
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I disagree with your statement that most women don't like being approached as a generality. I think most don't like to be approached in certain circumstances, sure, and in certain manners most definitely, but I don't think that most women are put off by a respectful, safe approach by someone in they social group (my read is that this is a gym communitywith repeat people). I think the women that don't want that are just very vocal about their opinion. Yes, they're are women who complain about gym approaches, but others go to the gym to meet dudes...
As a woman that gets approached or just sort of commented/cat called frequently, I think its difficult because the vast majority of contact can be really unpleasant. But occasionally I will be approached in a nice way, and I'm still open to that.
I have really yet to hear any women's group collectively say that they'd rather be the pursuing party, ever. I have yet to talk to any woman who says she prefers being the pursuer, too. So while women want to be safe and not harassed, it's still an expectation/hope that men will act when they're interested.
Definitely it's important to watch for social cues while engaging, but I think it's fair to assume a person who has already approached and contacted you is open to another friendly conversation. Here, OP's lady already approached OP at the gym. Seems irrational to then think she's not open to conversation after she did that. The specific controls over the general.
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Very interesting. It's a good explanation, and I hope you don't mind but I was "halfway" playing devil's advocate there. Which certainly doesn't mean your response is null and void, it just means you provided a better explanation than you would've otherwise. Most women here in this sub and elsewhere, will just say it's all unwanted attention, they prefer to be left to their own devices (don't approach them at the store, for example.) It was good to see a different take.
It makes me curious, though. I'd like to know more, perhaps?
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your comment was too vague to convey what you're asking about... happy to answer my perspective as a woman on dating though if you can tell me what you're referring to.
[–]Aeon1991 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yeah, so does a guy need to fit a certain narrative as a "breadwinner" to have decent chance in the game? Could one be the opposite of this, and rely more on other qualities, passionate interests, etc?
[–]RunsFastAfterCoffee1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I prefer for a guy to bring a pretty similar amount (or above) to our breadbasket. I live in a very expensive city though so it matters here if you want to actually be able to afford property.
If a guy was well educated but didn't earn a lot, like he was a journalist or something, that could work too. But I prefer someone pretty on par to me. Obviously a personal preference.
No but I mean, more for a "short term" thing. I'm one who believes that particular thing doesn't always affect what might catch your interest in the short-term, at least.
I need this to be true, at any rate, I'm autistic and not able to have a normal life. I need to believe that it won't be a barrier for "less serious" things, as any kind of intimacy, even fleeting, is better than an entire life with nothing at all.
Hopefully it's not like, "no decent woman is interested in that, but you can always pay; nothing to be ashamed of" or something.
[–]Opposite-Ad9574 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“No way , that sucks. I hate when that happens. When I was a kid I remember when I couldn’t reach…. “<- proceed to share a memory when you couldn’t reach something and how you felt. Now you’re creating a connection
[–]Equivalent_Ad7389 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Just say "this is totally random, but you're cute, I'm thinking chuckie cheese for our date later."
The only way to get the hot girl is show her you're okay with tension and rejection.
Never hide your intentions that's what nice guys do. Instead be upfront. It's all about that body language. Lower your voice tonality, make strong eye contact, slow your words down. Repeat it to yourself it'll sound sexy as fuck and women love being desired by a confident dude.
[–]learnbyrepetition -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, you are overthinking the situation. In my opinion, in virtually every case like this the best thing is to assume she is flirting with/attracted to you. Worst case scenario, she isn’t. Easier said than done but I think it’s the best way to think about it.
[–]denali_HD2020 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would of followed up with, "You look great, how long have you been working out?" "Awesome, what's your goal?" "Hey, I got to go, but I would love to keep talking, what's your number?"
[–]whotfiswho_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t call it flirting, but there was a sense of familiarity that made her reach out to you instead of everyone else, so you were definitely on her radar.
You got your foot in the door. Time to step on in!
[–]-applesEQLoranges- 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're over thinking. Strike up a conversation amd see how it goes. The worst that will happen is she won't be interested and things will go back to how they are now. It's worth a try for sure. If she asked you over others, it may be because she felt more comfortable with you and that could be an open for you. Just don't be a creep and things will probably turn out pretty okay.
[–]JZD614 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah don’t assume…. You might have just looked easier to approach then the other people. But she already broke the ice and got each other’s names…. shoot your shot
[–]Oriential-amg77 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wish more women did this huh, gym culture isn't just a bro club thing
[–]SummerEarly 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d be careful because 9/10 times they are just being friendly. Nevertheless you should try and get to know her more next time. Maybe tease her and ask for her help on a machine next time.
[–]Giaaa_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have to stand on the bench to reach the Lat pulldown clip so it could of just been she needed help. U know her name say hi such and such again and go from there. Talk normal. Don't go out of ur way but also if u see her then chat.. But definitely try. I've had numerous convos with people and wasn't brave enough to take it further.
[–]laurahh1505 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She was probably flirting/wants to talk to you, at least. See if you can strike up a conversation again, and see how it goes!
[–]watuphoss[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think I am overthinking this situation.
Me too.
If you were done with your set it COULDVE just been that... But I wasn't there so idk. You should shoot ur shot
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