[deleted by user]

Nicophoros4862 · 2021-09-05T15:12:50+00:00

Every time I try to get a girl to like me, it hasn’t worked. Every girl I’ve ever attracted has been the result of an accident, either I just went up and talked to her with no intention other than simply to talk to her, or I’ve done something nice/helpful to her with no motive other than that. I think the point is don’t go out and specifically try to get a girlfriend. Just maximize the chances of an accident happening. At least that’s the strategy in currently pursuing since the more direct one has been useless

Narcan9 · 2021-09-05T16:39:33+00:00

That's ironic because if you would just chill and be fun then more women would gravitate to you. Be one of the guys. Do guy things. Women like guys.

Instead you're probably a bit socially awkward, and give off a desperation vibe which pushes women away.

totalwarwiser · 2021-09-05T17:29:34+00:00

Dont try too hard, that is the problem.

If you want someone you get performance anxiety and end up acting unnaturaly, which makes your behavior weird or make the girl unconfortable, which is a major turnof for women.

I guess that when you talk to an atractive girl your mind go into anxiety mode and kind of ruins everything.

Instead you should just chat, give her your full attention, be funny and interesting, show interest in her, give the ocasional real compliment, and escalate touch. Say she tells you that she did exercise and that made her muscles sore, you could lightly touch her back and asks if its hurting there, or when you want to leave the table you say you will be right back and touch her hand or thigh. If she says she is cold you get closer and you may embrace her. If you start the date siting oposite on the table and you get up for something then you return and sit beside her.

Basicaly you should do your best and dont worry too much about the outcome and act like you already knew her before and you are there just to have fun and be yourself and if it ends in a kiss or sex it would be great but its not required for the night, and also know that as much as she is judging if she wants to have something with you you are also wondering if you would like to have something with her. And you both increase emotional and physical intimacy until you eventualy find the oportunity to kiss.

JazzleRazzle · 2021-09-05T14:43:29+00:00

HAVING A PLAN. It's the only thing that will free you up to have fun and get results.

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but if you don't know

What you want
Pre-Defined logistics

You'll be thinking about those 2 points all the time. You'll be stifled. You won't know what to do at any given point. But most importantly you won't be able to LEAD the girls. They want to give you their hand and be GUIDED, and for that, you must know the path.

Pre-define what you want, draft an overall plan, but most importantly have decent logistics. Meaning, will you focus on getting day 2s? What is a cool chill spot you can go for that? Or do you have logistics that allow inviting them directly to your place to chill?

Fuck, after that, you can improvise/have fun all you want, like an artist that throws a 2h concert has a defined setlist and has rehearsed it a LOT OF TIMES. Of course they can improvise.

AelfredRex · 2021-09-06T00:20:44+00:00

Don't worry about liking the girl until you actually know her. Lust comes before like, so just be in mutual lust and let things happen naturally.

Lotus_82 · 2021-09-06T00:32:51+00:00

“Confirmed multiple times she was coming”.

So you asked her more than once to confirm she was really coming?

Because if you did not only did it put pressure on her to go (no one wants to feel pressured to go out, even to a party) but it also made you look a little desperate and insecure, like you NEEDED her to come.

It would have been more productive to be cool about it and act like you were going on have an amazing night whether she came or not.

Have you talked to her since then?

RangersFan243 · 2021-09-05T14:45:01+00:00

How do you have girls coming up to you I need to work on that

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-09-05T15:32:05+00:00

If you just want to lose your virginity just fuck a fat chick or a chick below your standards.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-09-05T16:26:48+00:00

As you go to parties and maybe approach or talk to girls, keep reminding yourself youre not weird and that theres a girl that is going to be attracted to you, a girl who also wants what you want. Remind yourself you have spmething to offer beyond sex and try to become better or more knowledgeable in those areas. And then just talk to girls about their interests and your interests, never exclusively one or the other.

Sudden_Row7058 · 2021-09-06T06:49:13+00:00

If you can laugh your virginity off you can literally smash the same day. Like if any girl ever brings it up just say that you’re a virgin with a cordial smirk or goofy face. Adds mystery, you’re not lying and she might think you’re a funny guy.

_Rynzler_ · 2021-09-05T14:45:33+00:00

Dont worry about it. The correct girl will come. Im also not that bad looking and i never had a clue what to do with women. You just learn with time. Some take longer to learn some take less.

Touch-Slight · 2021-09-05T23:36:15+00:00

I had the same problem as you attractive never made the first move in my whole life cause girls always would talk to me first. I only lost my virginity when I was 20. I just used that to my advantage and fake confidence and learn how to read girls body language, eye contact and having logistics. minimizing small talk is the most important thing I learned when in person if you just get close enough and learn to read the cues you can dive head on to making out with them with no hesitation. Remember this is only after you got them back to your place and they get comfortable some effort will have to be made at whatever party or place you’re at. also in the beginning you don’t have to approach the top tier girls especially if you just wanna get a lay in trust me 5-7s 80% chance of hooking up with you on a first date if you an above average looking dude.

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2021-09-05T15:47:29+00:00

How tall are you?

Woujo · 2021-09-05T16:14:16+00:00

Do you have any friends that are girls?

maplemario · 2021-09-06T03:43:46+00:00

Can you post a screenshot of your texts with her?

IBeSomebooty · 2021-09-06T16:17:18+00:00

hey man you can't force chemistry, don't force sex. only have sex with girls you want unless you just want a one night stand with someone else once in a while, and nothing is wrong with that.

you need to flirt in order to get something started. make her comfortable by being less of a creep and being nonchalant. lead her, say your going to ur place for drinks or a movie or something you wanna show her, or netflix. whatever. dim the lights, break out the wine, order pizza, cuddle. tell her she feels soft and that its driving you crazy. simple things like that will turn her on. when shes showing signs of being submissive you make moves like kiss, pull away, tell her "you have no idea what I wanna do to you right now" will make her mind turn into scrambled eggs, and she won't be able to stop thinking about it until it happens, and if shes showing signs of rejection when shes still flirting back or kissing 'No i should stop' "yeah I know i cant believe this is happening, we have such good chemistry"

they want a story to tell their friends like "it just happened like something magical like a movie" so they dont seem like sluts for having sex with you, if they never met you

FederalBlood · 2021-09-07T00:39:25+00:00

My suggestion is too practice making small talk with random strangers (men or women) and not trying to go out with the sole intention on trying to hookup or find a gf. If you’re a fun, pleasant person to hang out with you’ll attract people to you.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	34
Comments	47
Date	September 5, 2021 2:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pie0m9/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1276744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276744

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