[deleted by user]

thenameisjul · 2021-07-15T11:59:29+00:00

Next time, don't really plan to have sex but instead just plan to make out/cuddle have a good time etc. If you plan for it, you put pressure on yourself. If you think "it may happen, but it's also fine if we just cuddle all night" and then it happens, you're way more relaxed. Try to get more emotions out of kissing, feeling her body, foreplay in general etc and then escalate slowly

RealHumanBeing2021 · 2021-07-15T12:01:04+00:00

It was likely a mix of nerves and PIED, bro. It’s happened to me before as well.

PompousSchmuck · 2021-07-15T11:25:39+00:00

Do you watch porn? like, more than once a week? might be seeing the effects of PIED.. cut that shit out.

alexscuta · 2021-07-15T12:32:54+00:00

Always happens to me the first time I do with a new partner. I somehow got used to it. The truth is she is as worries as you are "Am I not attractive enough for him?". What I noticed, this actually turns them on even more because now she is just thinking about your dick. Just don't stop trying, I've been there

clarkedanielle84 · 2021-07-15T16:20:33+00:00

Honestly it’s probably not that big of a deal to her, if at all

If I’m having sex with a guy, the intimacy of just being skin to skin is more than enough. If he apologizes preemptively that he’ll finish ‘too quick’ I’m like.. no such thing. It’s not like piv is the only way a girl can finish and the hotness of the buildup of getting our clothes off and just being comfortable enough to even attempt penetration is great. Plus, good sex from the physical sense is something you build over time anyway.

Acceptable-Walk-193 · 2021-07-15T09:40:28+00:00

Man, I hear ya, if she’s cool then she will be patient with you, it’s just nerves as it’s your first time.

When it happens to me I just focus on the feeling of kissing to get back in the moment and calm your mind. Avoid pills unless this issue keeps happening for months as that won’t cure the problem long term or give you confidence without the pills.

Just talk to her about it, say you’re nervous etc and it will be fine.

1keentolearn12 · 2021-07-15T15:06:34+00:00

If you can get hard when you jerk off, then this is a mentally battle that you can overcome

Feisty-Saturn · 2021-07-15T09:23:15+00:00

How old are you? When is the last time you had sex? Did you drink that night?

Maybe your expectations got to you head and you were putting a lot of pressure on yourself…

Renatus45 · 2021-07-15T14:52:14+00:00

Blue chew 😏

avyayy · 2021-07-15T18:10:08+00:00

Get get her off then You don’t need a dick to make her cum

Working-Government78 · 2021-07-15T19:48:41+00:00

Like others have stated. Give.up porn and masturbation, forever.

danglieszak · 2021-07-15T20:57:13+00:00

Honestly I’ve gone soft a ton of times when putting on a condom. It’s just an awkward interruption of the moment. I’ve found that having a few drinks in me keeps me more in the moment and out of my head.

Charge36 · 2021-07-15T21:00:05+00:00

Pretty normal for a first time. I don't think I got off until the third time I had sex. Also porn and being circumcised make you less sensitive. Just try to relax and get comfortable and your body will figure it out

Frequent-Vanilla · 2021-07-15T16:05:16+00:00

Not the easiest advice to follow but this honestly happens to me quite regularly sometimes which I should go get checked out. But some things I’ve figured out to improve it

Relax. When you start thinking about “what if I lose this erection, etc.” your guaranteed to lose it. Close your eyes focus on what feels good, focus on her breath getting deeper, focus on her moaning, whatever helps
If you put the condom on and then lose it… go back to what you were doing making out etc, and just leave the condom until the erection returns and maybe try then
My biggest problem is having erections that aren’t hard enough sometimes so having her put it in, have her start on top… things like that can really help, cause most of the time once your in your Golden
People were 100% right about taking the break from porn or at least dropping it down to once or twice a week
I know you feel terrible about it, and I’ve been in that same boat more than a few times, but she seemed very understanding of it compared some people I’ve met. She wants to meet again which means she’s into you, and you guys will figure out what works together (and once you figure it out, there’s no looking back)

Hope some of this helped, and wish you the best of luck with her man!! You got this even though it feels really shitty right now

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-07-15T09:28:27+00:00

See a doctor, get some dick pills.

Eggy-Pebbs123 · 2021-07-15T12:53:32+00:00

This happened to me and my partner when we first got together. We've been together now for 2 years (and have a healthy sex life) so it hasn't been a problem since the first time. Avoid wanking or anything prior to meeting her, and try not to panic that way you'll be super ready to go. Chances are it was first date/first time nerves and you'll be absolutely fine when you meet again. Avoid too much alcohol if you can, as this can impact on it too. She wants to meet again, so she is obviously not worried about it, so try not let it bother you either. Try and relax, do more foreplay and see how you get on. Good luck ☺️

ebell1989 · 2021-07-15T14:21:18+00:00

Happened to me the first time with an ex. She was cool about it. We were togetger for 2 years lol.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-07-15T14:47:28+00:00

It’s all g just use your tongue and your fingers and try to give her a good time that way first then just relax, it’s not some huge performance it’s just pitting a piece of meat into a slit, don’t worry about how long you’ll last either just focus on how sexy the situation is

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	43
Comments	36
Date	July 15, 2021 9:12 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/okp5yn/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1280376 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280376

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