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[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Women will always feel safe around a man that is himself. A man that will hold his ground despite of what his direct environment conveys him to. A big part of that environment is women themselves.
Now don't get all crazy on me with some crazy bullshit like what if a serial killer is just being himself crap, but for the most part it's true.
I really enjoy coming to this subreddit and reading others successes, failures, techniques etc.
For me personally, I have found that sincerity is key in my type of game. I am very satisfied with my results I might add.
I also believe (like hardcore), in the old thing momma used to tell you, "Just be yourself". Truly being yourself, and showing true sincerity, and throwing your neck on the line as Mark Manson would say, displays a very strong man, who is capable of building a good amount of comfort.
The hardest part about this game isn't being yourself to the girl, it's being yourself to you.
This is why I feel this subreddit has the potential to change peoples lives, because when you dominate this struggle that OH so many men people have, life really begins.
I very impressed with Louis' insight, he never fails to leave me smarter than I was before reading/watching his material. Even if it's supposed to be comic.
Thanks for reading.
[–]Tenmagnet2 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I more or less agree, but even with a guy who is being himself, there's still an element of hesitation and anxiety that women experience before she's sure.
Also, there are plenty of guys out there who, even when they're being "themselves" (which is really kind of a misleading idea, after all, what else could you be?) fail to create comfort due to bad habits w/r/t body language, conversational habits, etc.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
there's still an element of hesitation and anxiety that women experience before she's sure.
Have you ever asked a women, a platonic friend why this occurs?
You may be susrpised to hear that the number one reason is the gentlemen isn't being genuine, isn't being himself, or has an alternative motive, hence the creation of shit tests.
That's all a shit test is, but if you're truly being yourself, you'll pass one with flying colors, you'll display congruence.
Platonic women friends are your best weapon, you can even ask anonymously at /r/askwomen
[–]frogma 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Tenmagnet's a pretty well-known dating coach/PUA, so he probably has a decent grasp on the concept. The issue is that women want certain things, but they might not respond well to those same things.
I also don't think that's "all" a shit-test is. In most cases, I don't think shit-tests have anything to do with the guy himself, regardless of how he's acting or how genuine he's being.
A common shit-test is something like "you're too young for me." That has nothing to do with how the guy's acting -- it's pretty much purely focused on his age. And if he responds how he'd "genuinely" respond to that sort of remark, he's probably ruining his chances.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tenmagnet's a pretty well-known dating coach/PUA,
That is not relevant info to me, however I am happy to hear that. I am very happy more or less that two individuals came come together and briefly and civily share ideas, which to me is what this subreddit is all about.
Give me your apple and I gvie you my apple, we still have one apple.
Give me your idea and I to you, and now have two ideas.
I mean no disrespect to tenmagnet (whose name I just got) at all, but rather more respect for giving me insightful thought. Thanks to all.
[–]frogma 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure, I'm just saying that this is probably something he's considered many times before, from various angles, and there's a reason he's approaching it a certain way.
It's great to be "true to yourself," but you're gonna need to add some shit to that, or else you won't be getting very far.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Interesting.
Maybe in some cases, it's not so much about just being yourself, but being your best self. There's always room for improvements, right? After all, that's why many of us frequent this subreddit.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great comment. I definitely agree with what you're saying, especially the part about sincerity. I'd also combine that with a general attitude of positivity and non-judgement.
I think just being yourself, being truly happy with yourself shows a sense of inner comfort, and that becomes obvious around others.
When I approach a woman I'm into, I want her to be comfortable with me first and foremost. That's really when I find that stuff like kino, eye-contact just becomes natural. I'm not touching her arm or looking at her in the eyes because I have to go through the checklist, I'm doing it cause it just feels right, I'm attracted, and at least for a moment, invested in what she has to say. And a funny thing happens when she's comfortable with you (and subsequently attracted): she wants you to touch her/look at her/kiss her as much as you want to do those things.
[–]push_pop 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
what if a serial killer is just being himself
That is actually just more support for your point. Many very nutty people throughout history have been so charismatic to the point they can say some pretty fucked up shit and people still feel comfortable.
[–]ThorLives 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Most serial killers are weird. There are a few exceptions (e.g. Ted Bundy). To my point: I was recently listening to a podcast where an author was talking about a book she wrote. Her story revolved around a serial killer, and she did a bunch of research on actual serial killers. The killer in her book was smart and savy. What she found in her research about actual serial killers is that they were mostly just a bunch of weird homicidal losers. They weren't even that smart.
[–]push_pop 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Interesting info. Somehow that makes me feel worse for them. But it's probably for the best. Serial killers don't make the best idols.
[–]bass_n_treble 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some of the advice on this subreddit is bizarre, and I am really worried about the ability of other men to empathize.
Have fun, make people laugh, be interesting, have an active social life, and don't dress like a slob.
That is really all there is to it. No need to complicate things.
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 12 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
These aren't good insights, he's pandering to his largely liberal audience.
[–]GyantSpyder 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not so much liberal audience as urban audience. In the country or in small towns, women don't run into strange men a lot. But things change when you're walking home from the subway late at night.
This is true, but often liberal ideology and urban areas overlap.
You are correct though, and I hadn't considered that.
[–]eagerbeaver1414 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I don't see how this is anything to do with liberal, conservative, or any sort of political ideology.
I did, however, laugh. Which I kind of think was the point.
[–]ryanman -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
The obsession and assumption with dangerous men and rape is very tied to leftist ideology.
Its a funny bit but it does bug me. The men I hang out with are NOT "dangerous".
[–]bluedolphin4 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You're taking the clip too seriously, Louis CK was only saying the things he said for comedic value. I highly doubt he believes that all men are 'dangerous rapists'.
[–]ryanman -4 points-3 points-2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
He may or may not think that, but if you think nobody in his audience does then that's delusional.
[–]bluedolphin4 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe so, but those people don't reflect his views and shouldn't prevent you from enjoying his material. Besides, there are all sorts of extremists out there, but they are the minority. It is unlikely that most fans of Louis CK regard this to be true of all men.
[–]ryanman 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, that's exactly what I said elsewhere in this thread.
[–]erikangstrom 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I consider myself extremely liberal/leftist and that's one of the reasons I love Louis CK so much, so this thread is right that he's pandering to that or perhaps expressing his leftist leanings. But one thing I do have about us liberals as a group is that we're so quick to indulge the myth of "dangerous men and pristine innocent women" and it's ridiculous.
[–]ryanman 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In your defense, Conservatives do the same thing with everything BUT white males.
It's funny because radicals on either side live in a world where they expect the worst from certain classes and types of people. Constantly. At all times. Sometimes with statistics to support their views and sometimes with the opposite.
At the end of the day, when you shut down the computer and step out into the sun, people really are pretty fucking good to one another on average. Picking the company you keep helps even more. So while his bit might get under my skin a little, I'm still gonna love watching his shows and see it for what it is instead of an insult to my gender, cause when push comes to shove it's up to me to debase that stereotype instead of complaining that it exists.
[–]erikangstrom 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right, I much rather identify as liberal for this reason. Conservatism is essentially politicized hatred.
I agree that people do overgeneralize, so very good point.
However, I disagree that it's our job to debase stereotypes. Folks like Louis CK have extreme power to mold the thinking of other people. SO they have a responsibility to not mold it into something awful. That said, I don't think he does, by and large. And given how often he talks shit about women, I can't get mad at this and not the other things. I think it's fair to have a little fun poked at my gender. However, artists and creators have the most responsibility when it comes to challenging stereotypes. And aside from being funny as fuck Louis CK is pretty good about it. I mean, his jokes on race are some of the least racist I've ever seen a white comic deliver.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This better articulates my point better than I could have.
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's littered with feminist and liberal undertones.
Look harder.
[–]Tenmagnet3 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I can see how one might not like what he says, and to a certain extent he exaggerates things, but in the end, isn't what he's saying true?
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That women shouldn't associate with men because we will beat them, rape them, and abuse them?
That entire bit was a clusterfuck of misandry and generalizations, and the only reason he puts that in there is because he understands why that might benefit him.
It causes a stir in some internet circles, he gets free PR.
He is opening himself up to a huge audience, and doing it really well.
Compare Bill Burr to Louis CK.
They both do the basically same shit except they have different views on political issues. Bill Burr has a smaller audience BECAUSE he expresses his real ideas. And shit, maybe CK isn't pandering, maybe he has changed this much since his last few specials.
My point is that he likely is pandering to gain a feminist audience, which is a big one, or maybe he is serious. Bill could do the same bits, largely because he is just as good of a comedian, yet he doesn't.
I don't know where I'm going with this.
[–]Dr-JanItor 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Louis CK also said slavery was a good thing in this special. Or at least the cause of good things. And of course he was joking. But the point is that I don't think he just says shit for popularity points, and he isn't afraid to be edgy/speak his mind. Bill Burr rocks it too.
I think that Bill and Louis both poke at women enough to call it even.
[–]torquesteer 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's also a joke. And it's amusing. I remember Tyler talking about how the game is just hilarious to him in one video. He's supposed to come up to a girl and convince her to let him stick his penis in her... then pump her full of juice. Louis and he are referring to the same silliness notion of dating, though Louis puts it in a darker perspective. But then again, just for laughs.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He never bashed women.
He was funnier when his material wasn't misandristic, and he wouldn't be funny if it was misogynistic.
[–]bluedolphin4 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Has nothing to do with liberal or conservative, it's meant to be comedic in nature and poke fun at certain social circumstances. What OP is trying to get at is that women will act cautiously around men they just meet because they know that some men only talk to them in hopes that they will get lucky and otherwise have no interest in them. And then there are others who are survivors of rape or other forms of sexual assault.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It very much does have to do with liberal or conservative.
If this were 4 years ago, he would have bombed. but because he is now a big name, he has the same audience everywhere. That audience is a largely liberal one.
[–]bluedolphin4 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Well if you really want to get into the political aspect of it, the truth is, men and women are still not treated equally. This is not to say that all men are sexist pigs but in our society, we sometimes enjoy certain privileges that women don't. Plus, statistically, women are far more likely to be raped or sexually harassed than men, which is why some of them are always keeping their guard up. I believe that most men out there are good people and not violent rapists, but part of being a PUA is understanding where women are coming from, and that's what this article is trying to get at. You don't have to be liberal or conservative to see things from a woman's perspective.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Eh, no. Women and men are raped and harassed almost exactly the same amount. Women and men both deal with unfair gender induced bullshit and have throughout history. In first world countries, neither are oppressed. In third world and other shite countries, women are somewhat oppressed. In certain ones, they really are.
[–]bluedolphin4 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You are ignorant if you think sexism no longer occurs in first world countries and especially if you think men are raped as often as women. Sure, women tend to face much more oppression in third world countries, but even in America, men still enjoy certain privileges that women don't (e.g. for every dollar a man makes, on average women make about 75 cents for the same position). Men do have to deal with gender induced bullshit, but to say that men and women are treated equally now is like saying white people and minorities are, which just isn't true. Maybe the reason you are reading these kind of articles instead of scoring with the ladies is because you don't understand the inequalities and dangers women still have to deal with.
And for the record, the reason I am here is because I have had less luck lately than I have been used to in the past so I am trying to reexamine my approach to see how I could improve (could be due to the fact that I'm living at home for the summer and not going out as much as I do when I'm at school).
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Every statistic you've quoted so far has been wrong. I'm not going to debate with a pedantic idiot. And, I've never posted here before and I only read posts like this about gender. Also, ad hominem.
[–]bluedolphin4 -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
My bad 77 cents, not 75...
Edit: To further back my statistics
Yeah, sure.
The CDC estimated that women and men are raped the same amount, or close to it, here.
295,000 males are raped in prison every year,
5,000 females are. Here.
This doesn't include non-reported instances, but there are far more instances where males don't report rape because women have the vast majority of resources and will get sympathy from anyone the minute they claim 'rape'.
[–]OneWonderfulFish -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm a huge fan of Louis C.K. but he lost me here. When I first saw it I thought, wow, this is one big hunk of bullshit. Elsewhere in this thread someone had it right - it's pandering to a liberal audience. Your self-deprecation is part of your schtick, Louis. I get that. Yet you aren't nearly as fat or unattractive as you make yourself out to be, and women aren't nearly as helpless as you make them out to be. That whole little bit did both sexes such a great disservice.
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