Seddit, how is it best to approach women who are clearly in a conversation with their friends without appearing creepy?

aecc0357 · 2013-08-17T15:40:27+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGyuY7ObYjg&feature=youtube_gdata_player. Here is a great short video on how to do it.
In the video he mentions you have to call it out (the fact that u notice they are having a conversation), like saying "hey this looks intense, is about boys isn't?" You have to show social awareness and not just approach and say something like "hey how u guys doing, u guys having a good time?" If u approach the second way you seem like u don't care about the fact that they are having a conversation.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2013-08-17T17:02:34+00:00

The trick is to stop giving a fuck about looking 'creepy' and just do it. If a hot babe walked up to you and interrupted you while talking to your male friend, would you give a fuck? It's not like a conversation is some magical valuable thing. You approaching them would probably be a lot more entertaining than their conversation anyways.

Primital · 2013-08-17T20:17:29+00:00

If movies have taught me anything it's that you should creep up by the group while someone is telling a reminiscent joke and laugh hysterically like you were there.

They will look at you and ask "What's so funny?" to which you are awkwardly at a loss for words while they leave you standing in shame.

c00kiecutter · 2013-08-17T14:11:08+00:00

"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

Or "hey" is good too.

TheDoctorCoach · 2013-08-17T17:42:58+00:00

Imagine you had found one of those women's wallet that she didn't realize she'd dropped and you were approaching her to return it.

Would you ask how to approach her to return her wallet without looking creepy?

No. Because you're bringing something valuable to her you know she'll appreciate. Yes, you have to interrupt her, but you know that's okay.

Now which is worth more -- a few dollars and a replaceable credit card or the awesome totality of a man that is you?

If the money is worth more, fix that problem by working on yourself until you're worth more than a few bucks.

If you're worth more, stop asking about what you should do and do what you feel is right. If it goes badly, learn and do it better next time. If she calls you a creep thank her for her opinion and move on.

2013-08-17T14:09:55+00:00

Approaching 2 or more girls is tricky, but the psychology behind it is quite beneficial for you.

A girl alone walking down the street is in "defence mode" she just wants to go from point A to point B, and an a cold approach takes her aback (which it also has its perks), but overall the "shell" is harder to brake.

A girl in a group of people is in "socialization mode", she is already open to talk and in a comfortable and safe environment, so her shell is most likely gone, thus making a cold approach easy, also talking about women group dynamics if she is been "picked up" in front of her friends is a great ego boost from her, because you choose her over the rest.

It's all about how you present yourself, attitude, confidence, dressing, etc. This helps be as attractive as you can to her, and most importantly to the girl(s) that she is with (if she notice that her friends like you it will give you a huge DHV)

~~The opening a simple hi will suffice.~~

EDIT: I will change my mind regarding the opening to what /u/c00kiecutter posted, a much better approach to the group set.

HaMMeReD · 2013-08-17T19:22:52+00:00

Last night I just walked up to the table, pointed to a seat and said "Are you girls friendly?"

Ended up with making out with two of the girls at the same time 2 minutes later. First time I've had two girls tongues in my mouth at once! Achievement unlocked.

Madagan · 2013-08-17T17:21:49+00:00

Don't single one girl out, approach the group as a whole. If you focus on just one then it gives the others reason to try to block you out whereas if you are interacting with them all and make them like you they are less likely to cut you out again.

cs1718 · 2013-08-17T18:55:45+00:00

ok so approaching groups of girls is all about 'energy levels'...

depending on the energy level of the group there is a best way to approach that group. mismatching energy levels is a great way to appear 'creepy'.... let's give an example:

Ultimately everyone on a night out wants to have a good time... what makes a good time? fun moments, conversations, etc.

let's be honest: even as a guy if we're at a bar and some guy starts making conversation, depending on his demeanor, what he says, etc., we're going to subconsciously (maybe consciously) think either ... 'yea this guys funny i want to keep chatting to him for a bit' or think (for whatever reason) 'this guy's boring/weird/strange/annoying/rude/over the top/whatever... how do i politely end this chat'.

girls think the same thing. the best way to reliably jump into a conversation or a group of people and capture their attention is to be just slightly above the energy level of the group you are talking to.

say there are girls smiling maybe exchanging pleasantries with friends, standing or waiting at a bar... fairly sober vibe, maybe the odd laugh. energy level: low. best approach: ask something random and slightly entertaining -- easy way to make a silly or mundane question slightly entertaining is to drag out the 'surprise for a bit'... e.g.:

*stand at bar, look at girls next you "

"hey, sorry to interrupt -- can i ask you a quick question about my friend... you look like you'd know the answer' (if possible say the 'you' thing to the most average -- not ugliest -- girl of the group.

people's favorite subject is themselves as soon as you say they look like they'd know something, it increases curiosity. now they want to know what the question is.

girls go 'ok sure!' or 'whats the question?' or 'why would i know the answer?'

you go 'ok so... wait, you have to promise not to laugh/judge/tell anyone/etc' ... now you're playing with their curiosity and it's funny and you're also kind of 'directing' the conversation which is good.

and then ask some ridiculous question where the answers will be fairly long answers 'my friend just went on what he thought was a date but it turns out the girl thought he way gay' for example... silly scenario, random topic... 'what should he change about his outfit? or is it the body language?'

something like that.... when she answers, just keep the conversation going.

you've matched the energy level but increased it slightly... this silly conversation is more interesting than the smalltalk or minor gossip they were chatting about at the bar.

and then just increase your energy level/intensity/loudness to always be a little bit more than the groups... if it's a group of girls standing around laughing, dancing, etc... you're better waiting till you and you're friend are on a similar level (maybe just really having a good laugh or whatever, or just fuckign around) and then try to jump in with something funny (like above) when there's a break in the conversation

NotOneSingleFuck · 2013-08-17T17:34:08+00:00

This one has worked for me, offer to take their picture for them. If you notice a group of women taking pictures (women are always taking pictures) offer to snap a few so one friend doesn't have to be left out or rotated. Have them take a normal picture first, then tell them strike a Charlie's Angels pose or a sexy pose. Anything that shows you're fun. Also, you're now in charge of this whole group and women hardly say no to taking pictures, so it's a low risk of being blown out.

Now you just introduce yourself and carry on, or take a few pics with them.

sonybravo · 2013-08-17T15:31:50+00:00

Ohh god I do this sometimes.....

Haraklus · 2013-08-17T16:44:05+00:00

As someone who is always direct, my advice is tell her what drew you to her and ask if she's single. I might throw in a 'I know I'm stealing you away from your friends, but..." then continue with my opening.

citizenc · 2013-08-17T18:55:35+00:00

Be nearby. Eavesdrop until you have something legitimate to contribute to the conversation. Say "excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing... were you just saying blah blah? because snuh snuh snuh!"

choc_is_back · 2013-08-17T21:08:08+00:00

Go in with a wingman.

NYRIMAOH · 2013-08-17T15:29:12+00:00

That's always a tricky situation. It is certainly possible and if you really want to be able to do that... then you'll have to practice a few times. Basically there are two ways. Either wait until a clear break in the conversation that looks like they don't have anything else to talk about and walk up and introduce yourself to the girl you want to talk to. OR (and this works better IMO) try to eavesdrop and listen to what they're talking about. At some point casually turn around and say something like "sorry, I don't normally interrupt, but I couldn't help but notice your talking about [insert topic here]." and then say something interesting or funny about it.

Title	Seddit, how is it best to approach women who are clearly in a conversation with their friends without appearing creepy?
Author	GreenSmaug
Upvotes	82
Comments	43
Date	August 17, 2013 10:46 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kjlzp/seddit_how_is_it_best_to_approach_women_who_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-how-is-it-best-to-approach-women-who-are.1357025 https://theredarchive.com/post/1357025

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