I get approached by girls I'm not interested in but the ones I approach are not interested

boss413 · 2016-12-21T17:31:12+00:00

This question is too broad with too few details. In fact, it's basically the prototypical question that drives guys to /r/seddit. Anyone who wants to get laid/a girlfriend can do it pretty easy if they're okay with being with someone in their league or lower. Here's an answer assuming you mean the girls aren't interested relatively early in the conversation; an answer would be totally different if blow out occurs after five minutes.

You might need to demonstrate higher value than you currently are in one way or another. How are your disqualifiers (body fat percentage, skin condition, fashion, height, handsomeness, posture)? When you're approaching are you commanding her group or are you only approaching solo sets? Did you come with friends? If you did, are you demonstrating social value with those friends?

Is this a mismatching issue rather than a quality issue? Is your avatar an archetype (bro, professional, burner, juggalo, granola, etc.) but want a different kind of archetype? How's your demeanor--confident is a given, but are you laid back or high energy? Does that fit with your avatar?

If you're doing everything right, then you should lower your standards, but odds are you're not doing everything right.

jacoballen22 · 2016-12-21T16:25:24+00:00

You shouldn't settle for less.

Ericgzg · 2016-12-21T17:51:42+00:00

This is an important phenomenon you have noticed and there is a relatively simple reason for it. Think of looking for partners as a market place, because, well, it is. Those with a lower market price than you, you probably aren't interested in. By not being interested in them you are communicating to them you are higher value. Women are attracted to high value men. The women you are attracted to you are placing a high value on and they can sense it and this causes them to lose attraction. For women it is a game of securing the highest value male they can and disinterest is a clear signal of higher value from men (ie he's not interested, he must be confident that he can do better). Hope this helps.

t1mman · 2016-12-21T18:32:38+00:00

Don’t settle for less and adapt yourself to your “market”. Let’s say you are a car salesman. You will not have the same approach, or the same look, or the same standing when selling Kia then when you’re selling Audi, right? Look at your “aimed market” and mold yourself to attract this market. Aiming for sporty type when you are not fit is not gonna work, aiming for fashionista when you dress poorly will not gonna work, etc. You can’t force-feed anything!

monkeyman114 · 2016-12-21T22:04:09+00:00

Quit rating girls, you're not an insurance adjuster. Talk to them, you don't really know what you want in a girl until you get to actually know her.

djfinbar · 2016-12-21T20:17:05+00:00

https://youtu.be/n450GmN2Yfk

Big_TX · 2016-12-21T21:33:04+00:00

Re read your post and imagine someone els is posting it and try to imagine their situation. there will be like 10 different situations that could cause this situation. You need to give more details.

My 3 knee jerk assumptions about what your situation could look like are:

1) you get approached by girls who are less attractive than you. And you want girls on or above your league.

2) you don't like the girls who are the same type as you. You get girls who are the same type as you approaching you but you don't like your type and the girls you like don't like you because you aren't their type.

3) you get nervous when talking to girls you like. Or you just don't know how to approach

the-who · 2016-12-21T22:04:39+00:00

You are probably acting different with the girls you approach in comparison to the ones you are approached by. Stop putting them on a pedestral. Your uninterest in the girls that approach you makes them more attracted to you ironically

Congruenceislife · 2016-12-22T00:34:05+00:00

If she gets you a chub on, and she wants to ride the great stallion of the world then by all means enjoy. If not don't not that hard really (pun intended)

uniquan · 2016-12-22T11:48:08+00:00

If you aim for abundance instead of quality, you'll be happier. Eventually you'll be able to pull the ones you really like because of experience.

cat793 · 2016-12-22T13:02:26+00:00

Sounds like aiming too high or going for girls you you don't have much in common with. I have always been the same and missed some lovely women because of it.

MindsEvolve · 2016-12-22T17:58:06+00:00

Everything in my experience proves the theory that the attractiveness of your dates is directly related to your BELIEF. Your belief that you can do it and deserve it. It's as simple as that. Most people just let their belief waver up and down based on their real life experiences, but you can actually take control of your beliefs through affirmations. Here is one example, I wrote an article about it: https://medium.com/@evanmagor/how-i-overcame-my-insecurities-in-dating-7f19ecc805c2#.djg8xhse5

Anyone can PM me directly if they have any questions.

Vistian · 2016-12-22T20:20:21+00:00

What a lazy question, man.

RoidRage420 · 2016-12-21T18:47:58+00:00

The super hot ones usually aren't going to approach, and you think they're higher status so you lose breh

F0REIGHN · 2016-12-21T22:03:58+00:00

Get yourself a 6 and build.

failatsomething · 2016-12-21T17:56:07+00:00

What do you want? If you want to have sex with something, do it. If you want to chase be rejected and work on yourself and get over rejection and all your insecurities and eventually start getting high quality women and spend a LOT of time and energy doing it, go for the great women.

thewicked1 · 2016-12-21T17:04:12+00:00

Lower your standards, raise your odds.

Title	I get approached by girls I'm not interested in but the ones I approach are not interested
Author	h4i2tl35s
Upvotes	34
Comments	31
Date	December 21, 2016 4:13 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5jkq5k/i_get_approached_by_girls_im_not_interested_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-get-approached-by-girls-im-not-interested-in-but.1417415 https://theredarchive.com/post/1417415

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