~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]K3wp 33 points34 points35 points 7 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Girls on tinder are looking for the 'hookup' experience, so either up your game and go for the 'f-close' or try something else.
[–]Imabum 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Even the ones that have "no hook-ups " on their profile?
[–]EmilCSS 37 points38 points39 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Especially them
[–]RougeWarrior88 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Once matched with a girl who told me she wasn't into casual sex...ended being FWB for 2 months
I'm convinced people only put that to not feel slutty
[–]-Jim_Dandy- 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Honest question but is a FWB "casual"?
All of my FWBs I've ever had were more serious than a casual hookup, but not quite enough to develop into a relationship (mostly). There was connection and at the very least strong sexual chemistry even if your lifestyles and interests we're varied.
I feel like this sub is too dichotomous sometimes.
[–]RougeWarrior88 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s a fair point. I guess it depends on how a person defines causal and/or FWB. For me it was just someone who would come over to watch Netflix and then hookup every now and then. To me that’s causal sex, but maybe it was more than causal for her standards.
[–]K3wp 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
A lot of girls, particularly the younger ones, will only date guys they hooked up with when they first met. "Love at first sight" and all that.
[–]Imabum 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That's got to be the stupidest logic I've ever heard. That's like believing porn teaches you how to be intimate.
[–]K3wp 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I never said it was smart and unsurprisingly the men tend to treat them awful, cheat on and then ultimately dump them. Then they say all men are assholes. Read more here:
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.tv.angel/u6A5mQeVJ7k
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'd still be a skeptic that a large percentage follow that belief system. Thats gotta be a small demographic of people with a skewed perception of how healthy relationships start.
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You must not deal with many young people these days. It starts with a hook-up, then FWB, then after awhile a discussion about whether to make it "official" or not. The girl will have had sex with a dozen guys in the interim.
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Soooo, all young people have herpes?
No, I stick to people in their 30's. Younger people tend to be into a lifestyle that I don't subscribe to anymore. My coworkers (biotech) are younger and aren't like that. Definitely depends on cultural demographic.
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And HPV and HIV. And gonorrhea and syphilis. I support users in the healthcare space and there has been a marked increase in STDs in urban areas due to the Tinder phenomenon.
It's definitely cultural and primarily affecting the poorer demographic, so I don't think you would see it among STEM grads. In fact, we are a big STEM school and our kids are not like that. But go to State, the city or the boondocks and its a different story.
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
My experience has been quite the contrary. Most look like they want attention and money on their cash app from thirsty guys these days.
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Those are the girls you are matching with (hookers and trolls).
I'm matching with girls that want to have sex with me. This is why the Tinder experience is so different for so many people.
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Probably depends on where you live. I know what you're saying about the hookers, they'll quickly want you to add them on Instagram or Snapchat so they can peddle their price to you. I've matched with plenty of girls that made it clear their not looking for sex too, just friends or attention.
Might depend on how you put yourself out there too. Just saying, young women these days use Tinder for attention and to waste time, Tinder has changed so much since it was first released.
Remember I'm in my 40's, so I'm getting mostly age 30-50 women looking for something. Either sex or a relationship.
The few 20-somethings I get are usually serious too. The flakes/trolls don't bother with me for whatever reason.
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh that could be why, I've been usually searching for girls in the early to mid 20's. I'm in my 20's. I hear the 30 and older crowd are pretty up front with what they want and don't beat around the bush as much as the younger ones.
Also where you live is key.
Here is San Diego, it's a massive urban sprawl with lots of siloed communities all over the place. I live in one of the 'hip' ones, so I meet lots of women that are excited to come hang out and have a local show them around.
[–]oops_cornhole 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, if you were having a good time, you should'a changed venues and continued to have a good time. I don't typically leave anything to "hoping for a 2nd date" and just insta-date her to the next spot. Wear em down! And if it sours or you're not feeling each other, continue without her. Interest but abundance attitude.
[–]Livefreeconsulting 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I got that lie a lot before I realized Online dating gives people unrealistic expectations. When you can litterally pick the body shape/personality type of any date with just a few swipes, it really isn't a platform that benefits a slow approach.
You NEED to make a move on these women DATE #1 if you are interested. If they've made out with you/fucked you they will feel more invested and be more willing to give you a second or third chance. Otherwise you risk not striking their fancy for date number 2 or 3.
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
But dude, they all say in their profiles "no hookups" or they say they're not into casual sex. They say not even 6 dates in would they have sex, etc.
So your suggestion makes no sense. These women only want relationships, right? It's what they all say it's written in their profile!
[–]Livefreeconsulting 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ3ul8Lv6eM
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You disagree, then. How about translating that into words instead of some token video clip, though.
[–]Livefreeconsulting -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The amount of info you are lacking is so astronomical that I can’t translate all of it into one post.
I can’t tutor you on what women want, how to respectfully break down their barriers, how to approach and pursue women, the reasons women enjoy being chased, the reasons they put barriers up in the firstplace and the 4 dozen other topics that will come up as I seriously think about it, I don’t have that kind of time.
Lebron will tutor his teammates. He won’t tutor high school freshman.
You’ve got to do some of this onyour own bud.
I’ Getyou started though.
Women don’t say what they mean. They also put up barriers to keep out the weak willed men. They would rather be single than date below their standard whether they personally are worth their standard or not.
[–]-Jim_Dandy- 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
r/iamverysmart
[–]Livefreeconsulting 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But am I wrong?
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can be a loser and get women if you're not weak-willed, and you can be a winner and not get women if you ARE weak-willed.
[–]Paltenburg 23 points24 points25 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
In my experience (35m) either it happens on the first date, or it never does..
[–]K3wp 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
Dude. Wut.
I've written about this in other contexts, but the absolute hottest sex I've ever had in my life is from girls I had known for months/years in some sort of informal or "forbidden fruit" arrangement.
Now I admit I always felt a 'zing' when I first met these girls, but we absolutely didn't hook up at first.
Edit: I will say Tinder is probably not the best place to look for this sort of experience.
[–]Atheist_Utopia 7 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
but the absolute hottest sex I've ever had in my life is from girls I had known for months/years in some sort of informal or "forbidden fruit" arrangement.
Wow tell me more about this? If I understand correctly, you met a girl who you had a sexual click with. Due to logistics you cannot pursue and escalate and you both live your own lives, but months/years later the opportunity presents itself and you've get great sex?
[–]K3wp 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
So, basically my entire playbook is built around "making a connection" and getting that spark with every girl I meet that is "AAA".
That is adult (18+), attractive (7+) and available (willing to engage, does not have to be single or straight). So basically getting that 'zing' reaction and then friend-zoning them on my terms, regardless of how I know them. They could be my best friends boss, co-worker, wife or daughter for all I care. Doesn't matter.
So a few were servers at local places, some were neighbors, some were co-workers, some were family/friends of mutual friends. One I knew through friends, was engaged for years and then went through a bad breakup.
When the tension finally released it was like a movie scene. In fact, in another thread I posted that is why I think the 'stepsister/daughter' porn is so popular, due to people having experience in that situation. Whether its resolved or not.
When the tension has been there for months/years its absolutely explosive when it pops.
[–]Aeon199 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude, wtf is this?
[–]Atheist_Utopia 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So apart from getting the 'zing', meanwhile you don't engage in anything intimate at all?
In this context? Absolutely not. I mean, I'm talking about married co-workers, for example. It's all about subtlety, making the connection and making it clear non-verbally/physically that there is interest and opportunity for escalation, should the opportunity to arise. Making an emotional connection.
In one case, it was a girl I knew from the neighborhood that "friendzoned" me in the sense that she actually used those words. Whatever, I have abundance, I don't care. She even referred to me as her "fake boyfriend", I would take her to dive bars and basically be her security guard so guys wouldn't bother her.
This went on for three years until it 'popped' right before she was moving to another city. Was fucking amazing, too.
[–]Atheist_Utopia 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I would take her to dive bars and basically be her security guard so guys wouldn't bother her.
But this is white-knighting at its finest
[–]K3wp 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No way, bro. White-knighting implies I was trying to get with her, which I was not. I was fine with this, btw. Like I said I just knew her from the neighborhood.
I also told her that if I could leave with another girl I would do it, which I did multiple times, no problem.
[–]Paltenburg -4 points-3 points-2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I wish I had the same experiences :P
[–]Errantsquire 17 points18 points19 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You seem a little needy. I was this guy too. It feels like you need to focus more on her emotions and her emotional state. Keep in mind that emotions are a womans currency, she doesn't care about you paying for the meal, your status, or anything else just emotions. You sound nervous and girls can smell that from a mile away.
If you text her again you need to really spike her emotions with something ridiculous. I highly suggest learning how to do free association to break away from logic which I expect was most of your conversation with her. Super boring. Questions like "What do you do?" "Where are you from?" You need to be ready to have a little fun to make that stuff more engaging.
She asks, "What do you do?" You say something stuipid like, "I'm a Saturn 5 astronaut but don't tell anyone the paparatzi are everywhere!" Then she'll press you and you can say something else.
In every interaction give value, and find ways to make it emotional.
[–]floanadventurer 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Teach us master
[–]Errantsquire 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just started learning all this stuff from Real Social Dynamics, and it's changing my life
[–]Andress1 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's just spewing thrash through your mouth/acting like you are talking to a 5 year old. It sounds incredibly stupid to me.
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Funny, I see a lot of women that are this kind of boring on dates. Those are the ones I don't see myself going out with again. *Snore.
[–]samuelpua 7 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Dude listen this...
What I will tell you goes way beyond game theory...
I mean all the advice here is great but all the advice is at the same time behaviour oriented...had to do this move do that move...which is again great but let s dig deeper...
Sometimes we humans are vierd creatures and we unconsciously create scenarios like girl telling you she doesn t have chemistry...this is like a movie you play the script...maybe that girl was a "hyper sellective" type in the irst place and you ended up creating this situation unconsciously maybe you knew that she was vierd but you again played the script..you maybe ignored her vierd behaviours...
Change the movie...! Play other roles !
Also online game is bulshit..it s better to meet people out there...
[–]fqGmUjDT2GCAmFqN 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
good stuff
[–]NairbHna 7 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
All you did was touch her arms? bruh.
[–]Imabum 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And how do you touch?
[–]NairbHna3 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
its baby steps man
shake hands
within touching distance
close the gap between you in terms of general distance
bodies touching constantly (think sitting next to each other)
the closer the heads the more intimate
playful pushing or teasing
hand around the shoulders/waist
hands on the thighs
4-5 inches of distance between eye contact
kiss
[–]young_moneychaser 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your only mistakes that I can point out without literally watching your interactions are the fact that you didn’t go in for the kill and ask her to come home w you, and said “you’re pretty cool.” You’re not the only one to make these mistakes so don’t be hard on yourself, but I’d recommend using tinder mostly for casual sex.
[–]TheEquestrian 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Leave her alone. She is not interested in you the way you want her to be. Do not waste any more energy on a lost cause. Be grateful she respected you enough to be honest. Get ready for your next date and hopefully you'll have chemistry with her. Good luck!
Be grateful she respected you enough to be honest.
more like he should be grateful he even got a response, it's more often than not to not get any response back lol
[–]bitxoin -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
your too nice bro !
Thats the issue instead of saying your beautiful etc or pretty
say something like your hair is nice if its curly say i like the curls
or if its straight say you have nice hair
its silky blah blah
either way dont matter what u say
you cant force likeness
she feels it or dont
[–]NairbHna 7 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
-"lets get out of here" (hand out, expecting her to put her hand into yours or just lightly pull on her hand and then pull her out of the scene)
-"thats it, i'm kidnapping you" (pick her up and tease her that shes being kidnapped if she says something slick.)
-"are you ticklish?" (whatever her answer, don't wait for her to say a answer just start finding her weak spot.)
-"wow your hair is pretty, can I braid it?" (learn how to braid, it takes 2 minutes. or completely mess up her hair. some girls i wouldn't recommend doing this to because some put a lot of effort into their hair its up to you)
-"listen to me and listen to me good, you hear me? -insert some tease-" (again if she says something slick and grab her by the shoulders )
-playful pushing when walking with her but not with your hands just like a bump.
[–]jbpostv 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
All of this sounds utterly terrifying gotta be more subtle for these situations. I would never braid a girls hair and I'd pretty much only say this shit to a girlfriend or chick I've been on several dates with.
ahh sounds like you take too long to get into that comfort zone on the physical level. you'll get there. :)
I think it depends on the mood you start out with the girl. If its all serious and you start pulling some of the shit like this its definitely gonna be out of the left field and weird.
[–]jbpostv 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah if you start out of left field and weird instead kino like that’s pretty much par for the course
[–]NairbHna 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
but the point im trying to get across is it won't be weird if you just make it 'who you are' which is a playful and fun guy.
obviously don't start running with the girl on your shoulder because where tf are u gonna go? just pick her up give her a spin then put her down.
don't do it with a straight face, always have some sort of grin on your face.
don't say it with deadpan like tone.
you can just ask to touch her hair instead of braiding it.
if you go straight from shaking hands to tickling you're skipping too many kino steps.
if you don't establish you're a huge jokester who loves messing with people and you grab people by the shoulders theyre going to feel threatened.
theres a lot of nuance to it that people can't see because I don't explain quite literally everything to them like i am holding their hand through the process. If there are questions you can ask.
[–]Spunk_Reynolds 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao you have some slick moves man. I'm gonna have to try that kidnapping one.
I had a female friend try that a few months back. I had no clue what the hell she was talking about.
[–]rmmjnh 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not sure of why all the downvotes, these are actually good if said in the right frame. They are pretty funny and strange and will make both of you laugh, frame provided
[–]macook814 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bro thats just creepy
if there context was right, then you're right it is creepy. however some cute flirtatious guy does it, its all shits and giggles.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]K3wp 33 points34 points35 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 3 points4 points5 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]EmilCSS 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RougeWarrior88 13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]-Jim_Dandy- 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RougeWarrior88 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 5 points6 points7 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]oops_cornhole 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Livefreeconsulting 8 points9 points10 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Livefreeconsulting 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Livefreeconsulting -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]-Jim_Dandy- 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Livefreeconsulting 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Paltenburg 23 points24 points25 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 2 points3 points4 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atheist_Utopia [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aeon199 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atheist_Utopia 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atheist_Utopia 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]K3wp 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Paltenburg -4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Errantsquire 17 points18 points19 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]floanadventurer 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Errantsquire 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Andress1 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]samuelpua [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fqGmUjDT2GCAmFqN 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]young_moneychaser 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheEquestrian 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fqGmUjDT2GCAmFqN 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bitxoin -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]jbpostv 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]jbpostv 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spunk_Reynolds 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Imabum 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rmmjnh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]macook814 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link