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truecrisis · 2020-01-03T04:53:20+00:00

I'm a dude, but it would make your life infinitely easier if in these "off limits" places you just talk to the ladies like you would men, instead of doing pickup at these places.

Things can always escalate outside of the gym if it comes to that.

GamerDaddyX420 · 2020-01-03T14:26:15+00:00

Hello, I am a gym hardo. Seriously, who uses the phrase gym hardo to describe someone who enjoys fitness?

punkbenRN · 2020-01-03T05:05:31+00:00

Women arent going to comment on r/seduction, maybe ask r/askwomen ?

Anyway, here is my take on it. If they have headphones in and are ignoring the world around them, they want to be left alone. If you make eye contact and they smile, go for it. If they make eye contact and maintain it, move and see if they keep it - they could just be zoning out. The gym isnt a great place to pick up women. It is, however, a great place to practice compliments with women. Go in with that mindset, the rest will follow.

ozzygirl1210 · 2020-01-03T05:24:51+00:00

I think if your checking someone out and they are noticing you too , and it seems positive , than I don’t think anywhere should be off limits to approach a woman . Coming from a woman that notices guys starting but never gets approached anywhere 😂😂

-Mavs · 2020-01-03T09:41:00+00:00

Society and women in general, love pretending that getting hit on at the gym is off limits.

Are we seriously going to pretend that a woman would HATE getting hit on by an attractive guy who's there to become even more attractive while he's wearing less clothes than usual and sweating?

So, essentially women will have different rule sets for the top 20% and the bottom 80% of guys.

grrinchas · 2020-01-03T09:37:22+00:00

There are no such rule as "You can't approach at the X".

If you are beginner and you never approached anyone, then I suggest not to do it in your local gym, unless you know what you are doing. I did that by saying "you have great ass", and neither she (probably) or me went back to that gym ever again.

Rules:

Check how hard she is working out. Some girls go to gym just to show their asses, instead of really working out. If you try to catch eye contact and you can't, then she is not in a mood to be approached.

If you catch eye contact, then no matter what, DO NOT break that yourself. Let her to break the contact. Pay attention into two things: time and where she turned her eyes.

Any kind of prolonged contact is a sign she is interested. So you can approach her.
If she is a shy person, then she will not hold long eye contact, in that case pay attention where she looked:

a) She looked down. It shows that she has submissive personality. So you can approach her.

b) She looked up. It is very rare case, unless she started to look at you and then you looked at her. In that case, she just didn't want to see that she was looking at you. So this is GREEN light.

c) She looked to right or left. She is basically saying "No". So in this case don't approach.

When you approach, don't go directly and say something as personal as compliment. Instead use, environment. E.g. "How many sets you have left?" She answers. Now, is very important. Usually you would say "Ok" and that's it. But in this case you have to keep convo going. Try to say something specific about her what you noticed, such as "Oh, interesting tattoo you have, what is it?". On the street you would touch her tattoo, but DO NOT touch her at the gym.

If she was really into you, then she will give you a sincere smile and say "thank you" and start talking. If not, then she will reply short, and cold way.

maikakun · 2020-01-04T13:23:21+00:00

Woman here. It’s tough... it can be super flattering and it can also be super distracting. I have been approached at the gym many times in a number of different way. This might sound corny but the most unique approach was when this man ask me for a “favor” to film him lifting a super heavy set... on my phone ... and send it to him. Otherwise what’s been successful or charming to me has just been friendly compliments related to my routine or muscles. That can evolve into conversation. I hate the guys who will just talk endlessly and follow me around. I am there to work out! In general, it’s not the best place for a pick up but it can be done! I find a man focused and working hard to be incredibly sexy. Make yourself seen. Compliment her sneakers. If all goes well you can work out together and get Chipotle after.

letzgetbaked · 2020-01-03T04:44:21+00:00

I think it’s inappropriate in almost all circumstances — working out is “me-time”, and I value that very highly.

I definitely do check out guys at the gym though... other women may disagree with me on this, but I think hypothetically, if I’ve been checking out a guy and make some significant amount of eye contact with him, I wouldn’t be opposed to him approaching me. But this has never happened IRL, and I am 100% satisfied with that - the gym is my “happy place” where I go to focus on myself and I don’t want to complicate that.

MicDrop2017 · 2020-01-03T04:54:10+00:00

A good seducer is so good that a woman doesn't she is being seduced.

NewtypeJ · 2020-01-03T15:46:27+00:00

I have mixed feelings about this but the simple answer is to put it in perspective. You in the middle of a set and some girl comes over to talk to you. You know she's there just to ask you out but you're really just thinking about how heavy the weight is and how big you're going to be. If what the girl did seems wrong, then no it's not ok. If you'd be ok with it, then go ahead and try. Just don't go in the middle of her set.

davidarkness · 2020-01-03T18:22:42+00:00

Don't just focus on asking women out, try to get to know them first , and if you receive choosing signals later on you can escalate (ask her on a date). The more regularly she sees you at the gym the more she'll think that you have a purpose and not just to stare at women and talk to the gym bros, after all you're there to train. This way she might get comfortable near you.

Women at the gym aren't any special, it's the same as talking to the gym bros. Anyway if you see women training with headphones i would recommend not bothering them.

2020-01-03T19:16:21+00:00

For the most part, I don't like it. Especially if I am clearly focused on what I am doing, even more so if I'm wearing headphones. I've had someone, while on the treadmill next to me, waving his arm at me to get my attention. That was pretty annoying. I don't go to the gym to get hit on, I go to work out, relax, and de-stress.

However, I'd have to agree with a few others here that have said if there is significant eye contact, then, at a suitable time (between machines, on the way out) then it would be okay to approach, but not mid-workout.

highvoltquail · 2020-01-04T01:38:21+00:00

I'm a woman, and I belong to several different gyms (climbing, mma, regular weights) that I go to on the regular.

Don't hit on me at the gym.

Like another commentator said, feel free to talk and make friends like you would the dudes. We'll probably cross paths a few times. If they're good interactions, and I'm interested like that, I'll ask you out.

Men who try to interrupt you to deploy game at the gym have a terrible reputation, it's annoying, women tend to deny off the bat because coming on like that is obnoxious, and there will be gossip behind your back.

Just be chill and have friendly, positive interactions with people in general, and it might just happen.

Phat-et-ic · 2020-01-04T14:31:04+00:00

The point is not that anything about the gym or interrupting a routine is off limits.

From my perspective, the problem is that I have grown very wary of any male approach that is based purely on psychical attraction. Which really has nothing to do with "women experiencing less sexual desire" or any of that bullshit. It is because (and I'm just going to speak about my own experiences here but I do think they are fairly representative of what other women go through), in my case I'm part of a friend group of all guys, and 95% of the time they talk about a woman (even if they know her) it's about sex and her body, in a pretty entitled way. I've seen them get angry (rather than disappointed) for being rejected. I've also been raped once, had met pull out their dicks in public and jerk off at me twice, and experienced many other forms of assault as well. So if a man approaches me and I know it's not for any other reason than him probably liking my looks, I'm not flattered or excited. And I'm not outright scared either because I don't want to make assumptions, but there is some sense of danger or discomfort and so, especially if I'm somewhere I wouldn't explicitly go to look for male attention, I'm just going to reject you, no matter who you are or what you look like.

And again, it's really not that women necessarily care more about emotional than physical intimacy, but there's safety concerns involved for us which is why we tend to prefer being approached in a friendly/non-physical related way before anything else.

hahahaha9211 · 2020-01-04T17:18:28+00:00

No approaching women anywhere they’re busy aka work, buying things, walking fast, running on the street, working out, etc they’re there to do those specific things not have you hit on them.

2020-01-03T07:20:26+00:00

It’s all about the approach. I actually ended up dating a guy that hit on me at the gym.

After we ended things it was kinda awkward tho.

alpha-zach · 2020-01-03T15:40:36+00:00

If you have to ask, the answer is yes. Not in general, just for you.

steezout · 2020-01-03T19:58:05+00:00

Make an approach, you never know. After gym sex might be great 🤷🏾‍♂️

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	37
Date	January 3, 2020 4:30 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/eja7ln/a_question_for_women_is_it_off_limits_to_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1487597 https://theredarchive.com/post/1487597

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