Did First Cold Approach- Quick Rejection. Advice?

paulvario11 · 2019-09-03T22:05:10+00:00

don't try to copy pua youtube just be more normal and improvise .

IntoxicatedOrange · 2019-09-03T20:01:51+00:00

Don't be manipulative, asking for directions when you actually wanted to talk to her about something else is manipulative and as soon as you start asking her other questions it become very transparent what you are doing. If you don't want to open with a compliment, it's fine, do a situational comment or just ask how her day is going or some shit.

You will still get instant/quick rejections some of the time no matter what you do, but that should help a little.

ilikepie145 · 2019-09-03T19:31:42+00:00

Indirect approaches are dumb in my opinion. U think she is cute, freakin tell her

TheLoveGuardian · 2019-09-03T23:48:45+00:00

Gotchu, Approaching is About Giving, Not Getting

lesntoomy · 2019-09-04T01:47:08+00:00

Everyone gets rejected... Remember that. Nobody is attractive to absolutely everyone.

2019-09-04T03:34:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Petite_Tsunami · 2019-09-04T08:03:13+00:00

Many people in the mall that are curt may be employees on a short break.

I have had people try to ask me for directions in the mall while I’m on a 15. I’ll generally shoot a quick answer, but if I get follow up question I’ll gently shoot them down because I can’t waste time or I won’t be able to do what I need to do. There is a chance she may have been oblivious to you hitting on her and was just rushing to get food.

intelectualycurious · 2019-09-04T11:00:02+00:00

In my experience, the first 10 seconds usually goes wrong because the girl doesn't know why you're there. It's typically better to go direct in day time scenarios. If you're going to go indirect, I would quickly follow-up with the reason why you're there.

Ex:

“Do you know if there’s any good coffee shops around here?”

“Yeah, there’s a Starbucks over there.”

"Just kidding, I know this might seem random, but I thought you were cute and had to introduce myself."

secretsqrlgrl007 · 2019-09-04T14:44:29+00:00

As a woman, I absolutely hate this kind of opener. If a guy comes to me and asks me a question about where blah blah is and then doesn't proceed in going to that place/following through with what I told them, it just feels creepy and very manipulative. Any time a guy employs some tactic that doesn't indicate or hint at interest basically immediately, it's very off-putting and makes the guy come off as untrustworthy. When it comes to approaching people in whom you have a romantic/sexual interest outside of social environments (clubs, bars, group activities, classes, etc), you have to be really mindful of how you're presenting yourself from the get-go.

weirdlyconjured · 2019-09-04T01:45:14+00:00

Don’t overthink quick rejections. She might swing the other way and knew exactly where you were headed, and you never had a chance because you have the wrong equipment. Don’t over think it when you have no way of knowing more.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-09-04T05:18:10+00:00

1

“You... can ask someone else.”

Starts walking away

The fact of the matter is, some girls are going to be up for it, and others just aren't going to be.

Seduction is partly about the discovery of which kind of girl you have in front of you.

And please for the love of god, we all need to cut it out with this nonsense tone deaf definition of "indirect" vs "direct." Indirect would mean you were hiding your interest. But she picked up on it, but wasn't interested, which is why she walked away. So you demonstrated it.

This whole tone-deaf school of thought says that if you just STATE your intent in words, then you're direct, and you state that intent how? With a superficial, meaningless compliment? Telling her she's "cute" and you just had to talk to her? As if that weren't already evident in the fact that you're talking to her?

So no, you were "direct" enough. You walked up to someone and started talking to them, long enough to find out that they weren't interested. Good show.

2

If there was a problem, it is that you were presuming that you wanted this girl, before you interacted with her. Which would have come out in your body language and tonality in ways you wouldn't fully realize.

Overall, you played it as well as you could have. Some people just aren't going to be down.

And yeah, don't ask for directions unless you really need directions. It's potentially awkward. Instead, observational openers can be your friend here. Open people based on what you see them saying or doing, the expressions on their face, and so on.

UnluckyBuilding · 2019-09-04T07:38:58+00:00

Todd V actually said it's the worst possible opener because by asking for directions you are basically you're asking the girl to tell you to go away.

You didn't show premise, so it's either "what does this guy want from me" or "he is trying to pretend he's just looking for coffee and has something to hide".

Also even if she stayed you were going into interview mode and would probably end up drowning her in questions. You can avoid it by practicing cold reads for starters.

It's advised that beginners stick to direct openers. I've done 100+ approaches and I still do direct 99% of the time. Saves time and effort.

borko781 · 2019-09-04T08:04:13+00:00

I dont think what you said was that manipulative , she totally could have been shy or busy. Besides your question could also be interpreted as what she usually buys , as in you are looking for an opinion for what drink to buy for yourself haha. Dont worry , it wasnt a massive mistake or anything like that. But yeah next time maybe be honest about what you want, but then again its kinda situational - some girls will like everything you say because you dared to approach them - no advice ever in seduction is 100% efficient , you just get different methods and sometimes at one point it works for you. But it would be hard pressed to say that there is an actual formula , rather than tips , which pretty much all boil down to self-improvement :P

ImmediateDisaster6 · 2019-09-04T10:51:30+00:00

It's one girl. Try 19 more and see if there's a pattern.

Title	Did First Cold Approach- Quick Rejection. Advice?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	31
Date	September 3, 2019 7:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cz9kdm/did_first_cold_approach_quick_rejection_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/did-first-cold-approach-quick-rejection-advice.1477691 https://theredarchive.com/post/1477691

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