Do you first need rapport before you can ask her out?

bl1y · 2014-06-24T13:29:38+00:00

Think about what asking her out without rapport says.

"I'm willing to commit spending X amount of time and Y amount of money solely on the basis of how you look." Sounds needy, desperate, shallow, and treats her like a piece of meat.

Compare to gaining rapport first. That says "I liked how you looked, but wanted to see if I also liked your personality before moving forward."

2014-06-24T12:59:48+00:00

Generally it certainly helps quite a bit. Gives you something to go on, something to talk about with her, and she trust you somewhat. But no means is it required.. just certainly nice to have.

When I cold approach a girl, I usually ask her something about what she's wearing, the book she's reading, etc. Anything to get her talking, rapport can be built quickly if you hit the right subject and get her talking to you.

Sky-Might-fall · 2014-06-24T15:23:32+00:00

For an experiment in my psychology class, I was trying to test confidence and getting # closes. I asked without building any rapport whatsoever. So I approached 10 different girls, 5 confident and 5 unconfident. Every time, I would say, "You're cute, can I get your number?" Girls acted sketched out. With those first 10, I got a couple just flat out "no"s. No one actually gave me their number.

So now I realized it was going to be hard to get data for my experiment. I made it a requirement to talk to each girl for at least two minutes. With the next 8 girls I talked to, I got 2 numbers out of the 4 on confident approaches. Then I got 1 out of 4 on unconfident approaches.

Rapport is important. Not always needed, but most times it helps.

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-06-24T16:06:28+00:00

No. You can ask a girl out at any point. Will rapport help you to a degree? Yes. But that doesn't mean if you asked a girl out at your university without building a shit ton of rapport and she said no, that she would say yes instead if you had a shit ton of rapport. Rapport does not guarantee a date.

arrialexa · 2014-06-24T14:47:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

fallenistand · 2014-06-25T03:12:46+00:00

I love this community. It actually feels like a family who are all trying to to succeed, encouraging each other to be better. Sharing mistakes and success to make each other prosperous

DaygameCoach · 2014-06-24T16:17:14+00:00

Sometimes you just don't have the time. When I've gotten 2 minute #s because of limited time...it was attraction with a little grounding.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2014-06-24T16:51:02+00:00

It's not a matter of is there rapport, so much as how much rapport. If you're asking a girl to fly to Vegas with you, she's gonna need to be really comfortable with you.

Happy hour drinks on a Tuesday? With a couple basic precautions, it's no riskier for her than any other trip to the bar, so she'll go out with anybody as long as she's interested and has time.

daedaluswing · 2014-06-24T17:27:26+00:00

If you really need to ask, you should read Mystery Method, which is almost universally hated on this subreddit after Mark Manson dissed it. (I truly believe both outer and inner game should be developed)

joshsway · 2014-06-24T19:44:38+00:00

You need attraction. That's the key.

Ru5k0 · 2014-06-25T13:39:57+00:00

She's more likely to flake if she doesn't feel a connection with you. You just become another dude that asks her out on face value.

adamsmith93 · 2014-06-24T14:44:19+00:00

Absolutely not. What are blind dates for then? If she's cute and she thinks you're cute she will probably say yes. Just go from there and be witty.

JesperSB_com · 2014-06-24T12:58:34+00:00

Yes, or else there is no trust between you.

And also show you have some value, so she has a reason to spend time with you.

Read this for ideas. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/28mm40/jespersb_the_basic_set/

Title	Do you first need rapport before you can ask her out?
Author	denart4
Upvotes	32
Comments	32
Date	June 24, 2014 12:54 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/28ymau/do_you_first_need_rapport_before_you_can_ask_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-first-need-rapport-before-you-can-ask-her.1372601 https://theredarchive.com/post/1372601

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