Does anyone else find modern dating extremely stressful with how fast it is?

DownTownGangster · 2022-07-28T19:54:30+00:00

The hardest part it getting them in person. Once I do that, it’s easy from there. The messaging and in between is the worst

futuremo · 2022-07-28T19:42:34+00:00

Nah. I feel usually if I move too quick for a woman they'll just let me know and more than likely they'll forgive it and we continue on and I can try again later. On the other hand, if you wait too long, they might just write you off completely.

I'd rather show my cards up front, demonstrate interest and go for it then leave myself wondering if I should have taken more initiative earlier. Fortune favors the bold. I'm going on a date, I'm not trying to be platonic or even give her the chance of thinking of me that way on the first couple dates if I can help it... that's what friends are for. I'll leave it to them and guys who are too scared to make a move

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-29T04:31:52+00:00

If you are an avg guy. Yes dating now is going to be brutal for you.

The market is so over saturated and competition is super high.

dick_head4life · 2022-07-28T23:29:16+00:00

It’s all a numbers game.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-07-29T02:20:27+00:00

Yeah, there are days where the completion just feels overwhelming. Like I have to be 100% perfect or I’ll die alone. It’s a very unforgiving dating market rn.

R1fle · 2022-07-29T04:07:53+00:00

From my experience you can't make a move too soon if you're actually on a date with them. Just go for it, and if she doesn't pack up her crap and leave the date immediately she wants you to try again before the date is over. You can do the exact same thing except she'll be prepared. Worst case scenario just get like 1 beer into her, don't get her drunk, but girls can have a tough time opening up and alcohol lets them do it and follow their inhibitions. For every single "First Date" that I've gone for the kiss (no matter how bad the date was) I always got a second date or closed on the first.

Once you're on a date with her you are in control man. The girl has already invested her time and energy into seeing you, she would not even leave her home if she thought you weren't worth at least something. The worst thing you can do is have no masculine energy - how do you show masculine energy? Go for what you want (just kiss her) even if it doesn't feel right. It will feel right to her. I have had girls turn down my kiss on first dates, and they just like blush and smile like 'wait what are you doing? haha' and then i just play it off like I'm upset she didn't want my kiss, and I don't laugh along with her. Then when we get to the actual final part of the date (hopping on the subway and giving our final goodbyes) I go for the kiss again and they normally love it. Nothing makes them feel better. Guarantees I see them again.

My issue is the girl I'm into I work with, and I went out to lunch with her, and she's HR, so I couldn't really do anything masculine cause I don't fully know if she's interested yet. I asked for her number at the end of lunch and she said she wasn't comfortable with giving her number out. So that's it... Literally nothing I can do. I can't kiss her, can't pick her up, can't talk about sex or flex in front of her. Can't do anything suggestive because it's an HR violation. If she had just said yes, I'd literally be picking her up off the ground and making out with her within a minute and just claim her as mine.

Therocksays2020 · 2022-07-28T19:34:19+00:00

It’s stressful but it also allows you to waste a lot less time.

Something that has helped me is focusing on figuring “when” to pull the trigger. When to make a move. Some women it’s the first date. Some it’s the third.

That’s why all advice has to be taken in stride. What works with one is not the answer for all

skawn · 2022-07-28T19:35:26+00:00

Yep. The worst thing is that there's no specific answer that's the same for everyone. And you won't know what that specific answer is until it's too late.

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-07-28T19:41:05+00:00

I've felt that way. Because I cared too much. I can tell by the post you prob pay too much attention to the girl. She either likes you or not and the more you try to control things you'll keep feeling you did this wrong or that wrong and you'll prob just end up smothering her

If you blow up a girls phone and she ghosts you that's one thing. If she gets to know you but cuts it off after 3-4 months she just didn't like you, or maybe you're not good in bed, or whatever. Just let her go because thinking you're going to control the outcome of every interaction by acting a certain way is a fallacy. If you, like me, thought you were compatible with every girl, you got another thing coming.

Even if you're "good with women" you'll prob just keep chicks around for maybe 6 months before things fizzle. Unless maybe you meet a girl close to 30 who is looking to settle down and you have a decent job

Just keep getting better and understand it's normal for a girl to lose interest within a year. Anything else is delusional entitlement. So keep meeting women and improving aspects of your life you can control

EveryNizastar · 2022-07-29T00:36:32+00:00

If you’re getting them to go on dates then the hardest part is taken care of

stephanienyc108 · 2022-07-29T01:43:30+00:00

Yeah. I quit. Dating blows nowadays. Bunch of flakes and people who want casual, or had kids young and don’t want a family anymore.

atomant88 · 2022-07-29T09:58:12+00:00

sounds like your game is just weak. go back and work on your fundamentals. re-read the wiki. learn how to build intimacy, learn to signal intent, learn to escalate with consent. you're doing something wrong

Title	Does anyone else find modern dating extremely stressful with how fast it is?
Author	Everlast23
Upvotes	15
Comments	16
Date	July 28, 2022 7:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/waiyk2/does_anyone_else_find_modern_dating_extremely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-else-find-modern-dating-extremely.1253363 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253363

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