Escalate from a friendship to something more?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-09-02T12:58:49+00:00

It's funny how some guys tell you to ask her what she wants, which clearly shows they don't understand women at all, how seduction and emotions works and how they clearly don't have enough experience with women.

A woman can easily tell you that she wants to have sex with you and go to your place to sleep with you, but then when she actually arrives at your place she might get cold feet and change her mind about having sex and thus refuses to do it even though an hour before she said she wanted to.

And vicerversa, a woman can say she doesn't want to sleep on a first date with a guy, but then when she is on the date she can feel turned on and aroused with you and wants to have sex even though before she had said she is not the type of girl who does that on a first date.

This shows that what a woman wants isn't static or set in stone, it shifts depending on how she feels in the moment, the impulses she feel in the present. She can want one thing now, and in a couple of hours she can want something different.

Guys here think what a woman says she wants when she is in logical mode it's like some strict rule, and then they get surprised and confused when a woman does the opposite of what she said.

So asking her what she wants is pointless and irrelevant. The only thing that matters is whether she feels something or not in the present, not on what she announces she wants hours, days, weeks or months before it happens.

Because consent is about what she wants in the present moment! Now what she will want in the future.

Consent is something current and active. What matters is whether she gives you consent now to do something now or not, not whether she gave you consent or not 4 hours before.

If 4 hours ago she told you she wanted to have sex, but now changes her mind, then what matters is that in "NOW" she is not giving you consent anymore to have sex and you have to accept that gracefully.

And viceversa, if 4 hours ago before the date began she didn't give you consent to have sex, but now 4 hours later she tells you she wants to have sex, then what matters is that she now wants it, even if before she said she didn't want it because her current desires have changed and she is now giving you permission. So that's the key.

A woman can say now she is not looking for a relationship but that can change if her feelings about your change (aka she falls in love with you unexpectedly even though she did not plan for that). This is why it's not a good idea to ask her what she wants because then create a frame where you are chasing something and trying to get something from her which is not how you should approach conversations with women.

Your job isn't to tell her that you want X thing from her, your job is to forget about what she wants and on your goals, and just focus on inviting her to feel emotions that you feel. Your job is not to negotiate or try to change her mind about what she said she wants, your job is to invite her feel to feel your desire and connect with her. That's it.

You don't approach her asking her to give you something that you want. That is not what seducition is about. That is negotiating, trying to trade, trying to enter a contract with her. That isn't how owmen operate. Your job is to connect without expectations, without an agenda, but expressing what she causes you to feel in the present moment, and just let things unfold naturally.

This is hard for begginers or inexperienced guys, but hey if you need further explanation, just DM me, cuz it would be too much writing otherwise. i can give you a quick call on whatsapp, and ill explain in detail. I don't mind helping you out.

RubenAndJavi · 2025-09-02T11:50:59+00:00

This is a complex situation.

She might be interested in something casual. If she is, setting up a date-like plan, such as going for drinks at night, and being flirty (playful eye contact, touching her lightly in the arm now and then, bringing up sexual topics) should help you escalate sexually.

But she might just be hungry for attention, favours, and money. Unfortunately, there are some women like that out there. So it's very important that you don't invite her to plans that could convey that you two are just friends. You don't invite her to lunch, or to eat an ice cream, or whatever that cannot lead to you two escalating sexually.

I think you should ask her on a date, be very assertive in your sexual escalation (of course pay attention if she's comfortable with it), and if nothing happens on the first or maximum second date, either drop the interaction or accept that it's going to be a platonic friendship.

denis_x · 2025-09-02T10:18:41+00:00

if she says she doesn't want a relationship ask her if she is looking for something casual and if you don't want to be just friends tell her straight up and don't be afraid of the outcome either way you wont waste your time.

somethinlikeshieva · 2025-09-02T12:17:37+00:00

I wasnt there for the conversation but if you met her at a bar and y'all are hanging out one on one, she knows you're into her. I don't think I've ever heard of a guy meeting a girl at a bar and it stayed platonic

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-09-02T14:52:36+00:00

Her saying that doesn’t mean anything. Experienced so many times women said to me “this was a mistake”, “what are we now” after we slept together.

If she agrees to go out with you, then verbally and physically escalate and see if she reciprocates. If she doesn’t then cut her off. If you don’t know how to escalate search “escalation” in this sub.

Matter_Still · 2025-09-02T16:21:44+00:00

Give her some credit: she already knows you’re interested.

Level with her: When you talk to her again, ask her if SHE’s o.k. with being friends knowing that you’re very attracted to her.

You’ve escalated.

And forget this PUA B.S. about “kino” and “being assertive in your sexual escalation”.

If you can handle friendship “for now”, the moment will come when you will have your chance by invitation, not by PUA parlor games.

gimmeadvice_x · 2025-09-04T02:46:13+00:00

I'd suggest you go out hang with each other just focus on enjoying each other's company, make her laugh a few time, compliment her and then just go for the kiss. If she stops you and pulls away she's not interested and you know it. She can maybe change her mind later on but you keep her on back burner while you try to meet another girl.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-09-02T12:15:00+00:00

You could try listening to what she's saying and respect that if you were looking to act like a decent person.

Title	Escalate from a friendship to something more?
Author	Ruckusisbestsupport
Upvotes	6
Comments	20
Date	September 2, 2025 10:13 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1n6flvz/escalate_from_a_friendship_to_something_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/escalate-from-a-friendship-to-something-more.1561082 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561082

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