Female here - quick question for seddit

2011-03-19T15:09:30+00:00

You have a few options:

Go to another bar, the dude probably won't follow you. You can also probably just go to a different part of the bar if you want. +
Do your best to ignore him. Pay absolutely no attention to him and he will probably go away.
Bring a male friend with you to the bar. I used to go out with my little sister and when dudes I didn't like would hit on her, I'd tell them to fuck off right away. If you're at the bar and you don't have the convenience of a good male friend, find a big guy with a "kind face" at the bar and tell him what's going on. He'll help you get rid of the asshole, no doubt. Every guy like's to "save a 'ho".

Karma_Be_Damned · 2011-03-19T19:34:30+00:00

Marry him.

glassuser · 2011-03-19T17:04:32+00:00

You may need to be direct. Some guys are just dense. Just out and tell him something like "I'm not interested, sorry", "We're not right for each other, I don't want to waste your time or mine", or "Go away, please", or "Leave me alone!" If he still bugs you, talk to a bartender or bouncer.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-03-19T22:27:08+00:00

On a night out I'll get guys coming up to me regularly and it does get kind of annoying

Okay, what is your interest in going out? If you met a great guy instead of rejecting them all, would that be so bad?

Someone misunderstands plowing. The idea is to keep "plowing" forward until you are explicitly rejected, rather than the usual AFC's premature ejection. The idea is not to cling to a woman and pester her. I don't think you can blame this on pickup.

If a guy in a club is bothering you, tell him to lay off or you'll call a bouncer. If he continues, call a bouncer.

tasilva · 2011-03-19T21:13:24+00:00

Guys who study social dynamics would never do something like this. When a girl explicitly says that they are not interested in a serious tone with no smile or any reason to believe that she is being playful, I'm sure any one of us would politely exit by saying something like "Have a nice night" and walking away.

This guy, however, clearly just doesn't get it. I am assuming you have said "I am not interested", or "I have a boyfriend" to him already, and he is still trying... So to answer your question, which I believe no one else has done, this is what you should do:

1.) If you are there with a guy friend, walk up to him and say "Save me!" Put yourself under his arms like he is your boyfriend, and ignore the creepy guy until he goes away. If you aren't there with a guy you are friends with, but you are with someone you are familiar with, do the same thing. Just whisper into his ear to pretend you are bf & gf because some guy won't leave you alone.

^This will raise the value of the guys you are with, showing other women that they are safe and non-threatening. Guys like to take on these roles because it reminds us that we don't repel women like some other guys do, haha. So this is my first recommendation, a shameless plug for all guys out there, but specifically your guy friends. :)

2.) If you don't have any guy friends with you, I would suggest going with the girls you came to the bathroom to explain what's up. When you go back out, ignore him completely. You friends will be on alert to, so they can pull you away or ignore him with you. One of them might even say "She isn't interested" for you if he continues to be persistent. Literally, if he says your name, act like you don't hear him. Do this twice, and he with either leave or try harder to get your attention, and you just can't cave in. Ignore him completely, turn your back to him like he isn't there if you have to, and at some point, he will get it and leave. If you are seeking someone's attention for that long, it is humiliating. If he taps you on the shoulder, just walk away. This might seem "bitchy," but if he isn't getting the message, this can effectively get him to walk away for good. Don't feel bad about lying or being rude. You have to protect yourself from potentially dangerous guys.

3.) As a last resort, gather your friends, leave, and have fun somewhere else. If you are not having fun somewhere because of one guy, and you've tried everything to get rid of him, just go somewhere else. (If he follows you, call the police.)

4.) If you are a girl who is out alone, find friends to go out or meet up with. I wouldn't recommend going out to a social situation like that alone.

^I wrote this to apply to a wide range of guys. Harmless AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps), creepy guys with social issues, cocky guys who just don't quit, and potentially unsafe guys. These basic rules should apply to all types of situations fairly well.

Hope that helps, if you have any more Qs, please let me know. :)

etherspirit · 2011-03-19T19:44:04+00:00

Have you told him that you're not interested in him?

heightmatters · 2011-03-19T19:45:27+00:00

It's impossible to generalize social interactions. Calibration is always situation specific. Plowing is neither good nor bad advice. The only good advice is live in the moment and offer value to your surroundings. Also, height matters.

revolved · 2011-03-19T21:15:21+00:00

Thank you for your words of caution, a female perspective is most welcome. I'm sure that this is a simple case of an attributional error, mistaking the person for the situation. Maybe the guy who creeped on you knew nothing of the seductive arts. Every interaction is different, and so are people. A blanket statement that covers everything can certainly do harm. Remember sedditors, it's what happens under the blankets that matters. There is a lot of knowledge on seddit that if given to the wrong person could cause harm. That's true of anywhere. Martial arts and boxing are taught with the understanding that you will use your skills for good. The same discipline applies to the seductive arts. Practice because you love women. They will love you in return.

noys · 2011-03-20T00:28:46+00:00

How To Avoid Talking To People You Don't Want To Talk To

jamesbond664 · 2011-03-19T16:12:05+00:00

tell him it'll cost $10 for each minute of talking. Then as he keeps talking, say non-charmingly "I'm not listening till you pay the talking tax" so he won't think you are flirting with him. Profit.
look him in the eye and say firmly "Look, you are sweet, but I'm not for you. Go flirt with her. Goodbye."
go to the opposite end of the club/venue
find a sad loner (probs a sedditor) guy, and tell him to protect you. You won't risk your reputation, and he'll feel good about himself.
if he's really an issue, bounce to a different venue, or call teh cops.

Bobsutan · 2011-03-22T03:05:25+00:00

Sorry, but my boyfriend just got out of jail and I'm going to fuck his brains out later.

That ought to get him to back off.

hadmoney · 2011-03-19T20:08:22+00:00

You need to adjust your expectations. This is called a minor inconvenience. The longer you live, the more of them you will experience. Deal with it. The more you yap about it the more you allow it to dominate your life.

2011-03-19T19:05:05+00:00

Go on your phone, pretend you're texting someone, then look up and say -- sorry it's my boyfriend. then walk away, like a boss.

m4gnificent_b4st4rd · 2011-03-20T13:29:11+00:00

Tell security that he is bothering you. They should deal with it.

mommathecat · 2011-03-20T01:24:17+00:00

You have to do something pretty extreme, like go up to a bouncer and say "Excuse me, but this person will not leave me alone, could you make it clear that I have no interest in talking to him?"

If there's no bouncer, you basically have to get your friends to form a protective coccoon around you, until he fucks off. Pouring drinks on him may help.

mommathecat · 2011-03-19T15:42:22+00:00

I think you are asking the wrong crowd here TBH. Most guys come here because they have trouble approaching women. These kind of dudes do not.

The real problem is that this technique works often enough. It's a bit like complaining about email spam or junk-mail. No one would do it if it didn't get enough results to make it worth while. I would wager that you might have even caved in once or twice for an attractive enough persistent guy.

Guys have to deal with rejection and it sucks. You have to deal with rejecting and I bet that sometimes it sucks just as much. I wouldn't argue either sex has it any easier.

Title	Female here - quick question for seddit
Author	throwawayseddi
Upvotes	9
Comments	38
Date	March 19, 2011 1:47 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g71rb/female_here_quick_question_for_seddit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/female-here-quick-question-for-seddit.1316539 https://theredarchive.com/post/1316539

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