For guys who had 0 experience with hookups/one night stands before starting to take action in person (no dating apps/social media), how long did it take you before you had your first?

DisasterConnect5523 · 2025-10-20T06:42:33+00:00

Long story but this is still the way I get hookups.

For me, I was this guy with nothing until I turned 19. I'm an introvert and didn't have much confidence. I was waiting outside a ladies restroom for a friend, during a college festival. There was this other guy who was also waiting for someone inside. We both had a chat, shared college experiences and I told him I'm a magician. He was curios so I showed him a few magic tricks which left him in awe. He asked me if I could show a few tricks to his friend who visited the washroom.

She came out and I showed her tricks. One trick involved calling a random 10 digit number, which happens to be my phone number. So after that, both of us had each other's numbers. I didn't call her but she called me and then we hooked up. I realised that magic, which I never used for this intention, could help me with my dating life. Since that day, I always use magic to impress women who I find attractive and it has a better result than just talking, especially as I'm not that confident.

entitledwank · 2025-10-20T02:46:33+00:00

a lot of it is luck. my first hookup from tinder was a girl who had a long distance boyfriend and wanted to film her getting fucked so she could send to her boyfriend. very strange case but just shows apps are honestly just a slot machine.

learning cold approach is where it is at. literally just start talking. don’t worry about lines or anything just tell stories. it took me long my 8th cold approach before it turned into a hook up. same day lays are also like a slot machine

TMGP19 · 2025-10-20T00:53:18+00:00

That's completely dependent on how many cold approaches you do including "dating app" numbers.

Maleficent_Tackle805 · 2025-10-20T07:20:25+00:00

I started in spring this year and got one lay back in June but I stop it was hard to get enough volume in my city

PitifulResponse2835 · 2025-10-20T20:32:33+00:00

You just gotta go out more and talk to more women. It’s nerve wracking at first but once you get over 10-20 rejections it’s nothing.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-10-20T22:18:33+00:00

you have to have a strategy like playing poker.. google john anthony lifestyle .. people swear he pays me but i went from basicilly 1-2 new a year and now if i want i can do that in a weekend... my highest was something like 20 new an a month, these days i slowed down and pretty happy with around 12 new yearly

becomesharp · 2025-10-20T22:40:00+00:00

I'm not sure how long it took erik/mystery, but i think it was several years for him to ever go from meet to sex on a cold approach.

TD/Owen famously took 18 months (iirc) of cold approaching probably 50 approaches a week before he had sex.

It took me almost a year in 2004/2005.

It takes my students usually 3-6 months. And many of these are hard case virgins.

Each successive generation gets faster and faster in terms of progress because they learn from the collective wisdom of the generation before them.

That doesnt mean get discouraged or think there's something wrong with you if you can't make something happen in 6 months. That's just the average, but everyone's path is a little bit different.

If you still get nothing at 6 months despite a lot of approaches (20-50 a week), you may want to look for a coach, an experienced wing, or someone who can help you troubleshoot whats going on.

Big-Date8342 · 2025-10-21T23:34:04+00:00

I Just got shit faced drunk, when I woke up in the morning there was a naked woman in my bed.

Grapefruit-Smooth · 2025-10-23T19:49:24+00:00

Everyone’s progress is different,

it took me about a year and half of cold approaching

I knew some guys who it took a week or a month, it depends on a lot i guess.

The only answer is to keep improving until you get it

schroedinger11 · 2025-10-20T01:42:19+00:00

How are you miles better if you haven’t had any success yet ?

Total_Obligation_371 · 2025-10-20T00:41:19+00:00

How many approaches are you doing per week? Have you recorded any approaches and listened to them? Are you overweight/underweight/in good shape? How tall are you?Do you dress and groom yourself well? Do you have good general social skills outside of cold approach? How long are the conversations and what do you talk about? How do you open them?

All of these are actually more important than your experience level. I've coached guys who got there first cold approach lay within a month and some guys who took three or more months because they had more things they had to improve.

If you can reply and answer those questions, I'll reply with an extremely detailed response to give you a little more clarity/perspective.

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