Tonight's mission is to kick things up a notch, to go beyond opening and kino, to try to build a little attraction. Even if I don't get as far as attraction, I'll get lots of practice with openings, and I can use all the practice I can get. I still need much practice with getting past the openings and getting the woman interested in further conversation.

This was a very interesting night and I did a ton of openings and interactions, I really lost count. I got a lot of negative responses too, I won't say I'm disappointed because I am supposed to have that "I don't give a fuck" attitude about the results. Got blown out/got laid/got closes/got ignored, who gives a fuck, it's all the same, it's a game.

Evening started with me arriving at the end of the evening's free concert at 8:50PM. I only heard ten minutes of music, he wrapped up because a thunderstorm seemed likely. As the crowd dispersed, I bumped into two friends, those only two friends from my crazy woman friend's social circle that still speak to me. They invited me out for coffee, like we did a week ago (or was it two?) and I figured I have time to hang before the bars start hopping. So we sat around and chatted, pretty much the same as last week, the woman (close to my age) was hanging on my every word, while the guy kind of sat there fiddling with his phone all evening. The guy invited us to go watch a DVD at his place, but the woman said let's all go to her place and watch it. I declined, I'm not sure what's going on with those two, I think this woman likes me but I'm not sure what her relationship is with this guy, I'm not getting in the middle. Anyway, I have sarging to do so they leave and I head out to the bars.

I start at a new bar. Uh-oh this is a dance club. There are a couple of HB7s near the bar where there's an open spot for me to slip in and order a water. The bartender asks me if I want a slice of lime on it or something, I said sure, he dresses it up with a slice of lemon and then as an afterthought, a maraschino cherry. We laugh and I said, well at least it looks like I'm drinking. The women are chatting, I open them:

Me: Hey you should try what I'm drinking. It's deadly.

HB7a: What is it?

Me: It's the deadliest liquid on earth, it's killed more people than anything.

HB7a: So what is it?

Me: .... [leave them hanging for a few seconds] ....Water!

HBs laugh. HB7b: That's not deadly.

Me: sure it is! People drown all the time. Just think about all those shipwrecks like the Titantic.

OK, well they giggled and got engaged a little bit. But this is my first opener so I blow out early, thinking I've got a good new opener. Well maybe not so good, maybe I look like a wuss not drinking. I'll use it some more and see.

I turn around and see a young HB7 sitting all alone at a table. I go over and approach with the usual facing away at the side, rather than a face-to-face position:

Me: Aw, did your friends abandon you?

HB7: No, I'm here by myself. I don't know anyone in this place at all.

Me: well neither do I. That can't be much fun, just sitting here alone all night. [slight kino, touch on back near the waist, she seems edgy, time to eject] Well I might have to come rescue you if I see you sitting here all alone much longer. You have a good night. [she smiles broadly]

I roam around the bar for maybe 15 minutes, have a few idle worthless openers and chitchat, having fun but nothing worth reporting. The dance floor is empty, dance clubs are my nemesis, I can't dance. I'm thinking of getting out of here. As I head towards the door, I see that girl is still sitting alone, so I plow ahead and try RSD Ozzie's "be my girlfriend for 5 minutes" routine. I saw it on the video and it looked like a good way to get a rise out of a girl. This is the first time I've used it, I have never tried complex canned routines before, but what the hell, here goes. I go over and approach obliquely again.

Me: Well you're still sitting here alone, and not having any fun. [slight kino again on the back]

HB7: It's still early.

Me: I have to go meet some friends in 5 minutes, but until then, let's play a game.

HB7: What?

Me: You can be my pretend girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.

HB7: I don't think so. But I'll be your friend. [denied! but I will keep plowing]

Me: Oh don't be so cruel dear, it's our anniversary! Surely you remember the night we met, a year ago, it was so romantic. Don't you have fond memories of Paris, as we strolled along the banks of the River Seine, as the moonlight danced across the water?

HB7: uh... I don't think so.. no... [she has the strangest look on her face, I am about to break into laughter, have to keep level]

Me: Oh you are so cruel [neg] how could you forget?

HB7 is practically apoplectic, she isn't mad, she's smiling, but she's just so damn confused, and apparently getting that big emotional spike of pleasure, but I just can't work with her, I haven't run this material before to judge how well it's working or what to do. But it's obvious she is holding back so hard, she is quivering. She is trying to speak, but no words are coming out. She splutters.. "umm.. uh.." This isn't quite working, or maybe it is, but I don't know where to take this.

Me: [looking into her eyes] Well I just can't take it anymore, I think we'll have to break up. And on our anniversary too! I can't believe it. But we will always have Paris. Perhaps you will think back fondly of our times together, as time goes by. So I will not bid you adieu, but instead, au revoir. [I bow slightly]

HB7 is practically spinning on her barstool, her eyes are fluttering. That must be one hell of an emotional spike. I am having difficulty suppressing laughter so it is time to eject, fast and hard. I stroll casually towards the door and exit the club, not looking back. I guarantee this was the peak of her evening, the young boys that will hit on her all night can't compete with that. There's a bit in the RSD material that says, if you feel like you've added something positive to anyone's evening, your evening was a success. And this was a success, even if I got blown out. That routine was hilarious, but I wished I had gotten as far as the "I have a confession.. I cheated on you." bit. Oh well, maybe next time I try it.

OK, off to my favorite bar across the street. I try my "deadly drink of water" opener on a couple of girls, it works nicely again, but I eject early. Then I see a group of 4 women, with an exceptional HB9 who is dressed really beautifully, maybe a bit older like 29 or 30, very hot. But two women are sitting there texting . I approach obliquely again:

Me: Your friends can't be having much fun if they're sitting there texting all night.

HB8: We're trying to plan our evening, we just got here. [She's smiling, I'm leaning away, controlling body language] Are you staying at the hotel? [ooh, was that an IOI? She's asking questions.]

AHA! Bells going off in my head. Now I am getting it. That is why this bar always has HB8s and 9s early in the evening, it is the launch pad for out of town women who are staying at the expensive hotel next door. Oh I am so all over this bar forever. Now I have to respond to HB8. In retrospect, I should have playfully busted her with "What? We've just met, I can't go back to your hotel room with you!" But I'm not thinking that fast. Instead:

Me: No, I live here in town.

HB8: Oh.

I guess that was a DLV, I am just a local, not some traveller who can afford the expensive hotel. This conversation is dead, I can't think how to revive it. So I eject, wishing them a good night. They leave soon after. Time to get out of here and hit some more venues.

Out to the outdoor "beer garden" for a moment, time to have a smoke and plan for a next step. I am laughing as I see a woman ejecting from her big dopey boyfriend, he's grasping at her and she is so rejecting him. He is milling around and chats with me for a while, high fives me, etc. What a load of chode. I head back in, there are a couple of HB8s being totally ignored by a bunch of about 12 chodes bumping chests, slapping asses, and high fiving etc. The women are looking at them and kind of cowering in the corner. So I go over to open.. oh this is going to be risky..

Me: Hi how are you doing?

HB8: Oh OK.

Me: I've got a question for you.

HB8: Yeah?

Me: Ok, is this like a gay nightclub? Because I see a lot of boys slapping asses and bumping chests and they're all more interested in each other than all the beautiful women in here.

HB8s: Ha ha ha [she's cracking up and smiling] I know what you mean!

Me: Yeah, last night I was here, a couple of guys were chatting me up, I thought maybe they were trying to pick me up.

HB8: Ha ha well you better watch out.

We chatted a little bit, I engaged them and could have kept plowing, but I sensed resistance and was not building attraction so I ejected. I moved around and had a few other minor interactions, this place is played out, time to go to another venue.

OK, I head over and as I'm walking in the street, there is Dopey Boyfriend, I tease him, "Man you're following me." He laughs. I tease him some more. "I saw your girlfriend blowing you off back in the club. Oh man." He is confused, then he says "Oh yeah, that's what happens when you chew tobacco." And then he's stuffing some Copenhagen in his mouth. Fucking gross, no wonder she ditched him. He asks if I want to go to a certain club, I'm already headed there. Oh joy.

[continued]