Help me [20f] learn how to flirt with guys

young_legendary · 2019-01-17T06:34:20+00:00

Be very obvious. More than what you think is obvious, because subtle cues make us question whether you like us as a friend or as a potential romantic partner. That's most likely why guys aren't making a move on you.

Uesugi_Kenshin · 2019-01-17T12:08:39+00:00

I realize a girl likes me when

she initiates a lot of body contact i.e. touching me on my arm or my musclely areas
goes out of her way to spend 1 on 1 time with me, e.g. she singles me out in a group setting to have a conversation with just me or she just puts her attention on me mainly by sharing jokes or whatever remarks with me.
she gives me compliments based on my looks (sexual interest) e.g. "you're kinda cute you know that", "omg look at your arms ;))", "ngl it's kinda hot when you do X." The more innocent compliments work as well e.g. "your voice is kinda nice", "you have pretty hands"
Invites me out to stuff e.g. parties, gatherings with friend
Is enthusiastic about it when we spend time together (or are about to), e.g. "Oh my god you're coming, too?!! Cool I'm soo looking forward to see you there!! :)", or you can see the extra effort she puts in to appeal to me

I'll usually make my move after I see 1 of those 5 signs, but the more the better. The less confident or bold the guy is in his ability to advance on a girl, the more signs he will need.

Important note: Most guys will be quickly discouraged if you suddenly show signs of no-interest. Contrary to common belief, playing games will definitely not increase attraction of a guy towards the girl. If he's on the shy side in the first place, leaving him hot and cold will just make him think he's being made a fool and will just become even more unsure of himself!

Paltenburg · 2019-01-17T09:38:22+00:00

Invite someone for some 1-on-1 thing. I wouldn't call it a date, idunno, study together, go someone to help you shop for clothes.

But when you're together, you can start flirting using the other tips in this thread.

NairbHna · 2019-01-17T07:34:51+00:00

The best way to flirt is physically escalating since it’s the easiest and most clear cut indicators of interest. Basically throw yourself onto him is what I’m suggesting. However, it is clear to us that overt actions don’t seem to be your style so let me suggest simple things like touching his hand. “Wow your hands are so big” “you have nice hands” hit him when he teases you (lightly please). These are basic and you can do with every guy but these aren’t in flirting territory yet. Just simple ones you can do to every guy. It gets real when you guys play footsies or push each other around playfully. Tickling is my goto for girls and should work wonderfully for you but be warned I got a forehead scar from tickling a girl who warned me to stop because she wailed her arms whenever she got tickled. I can’t imagine what a guy will do to you if you don’t. scars on a girls face is a big nono but I shouldn’t have to tell you that. I think you get the idea but if you don’t I’ll list out the interactions in order and skipping some baby steps you can figure and add yourself.

Within seeing distance
5 ft near each other
sitting next to each other ( never sit across on dates or people you like.)
touching his hands
touching shoulders it’s hard to get past this without coming off too strong
tickling is where it’ll seem fine if you ask if he’s ticklish first then confirm with your own hands lol. Don’t forget the side of the torso is not the only way you can tickle a person. You can very lightly run your fingers across skin or stick your fingers in their armpits or “kneepits” for a lack of a better word right now forgive me lol. Make sure your fingers rummage around in their pits because just simply sticking it in there wont do too much. this will let you touch a dude all over without coming off so hardcore flirty. yep i made it ma im giving out tips on how to tickle
at this point if the dude doesnt get it go for the kiss or ask him directly because he’ll never get it.

Trollslayer0104 · 2019-01-17T11:26:08+00:00

Be obvious. I feel into an 18 month relationship because a girl I hung out with grabbed me and kissed me.

RPSilverfox · 2019-01-17T10:23:31+00:00

I usually know when a girl likes me by them doing small things like going out of their way to say hi or asking me a question to get closer to me. They will sometimes also go very cold after being warm which is a sign I guess but this will confuse most guys so I’d avoid it if you want to be asked out. My 2 cents is if you show some level of interest most guys will go with it and ask you out.

hydrolith · 2019-01-17T12:47:12+00:00

I think the biggest cue would be a girl who would come up to me, touch me on the arm or shoulder

and ask me how I'm doing ( show interest ). If she appeared truly interested and was able to hold a decent conversation, listen and ask questions, maybe throw some innuendo or mildly relationship oriented or sexual remarks I would know that she'd be interested.

Be aware that if I'm actually interested in you also, I might not be expecting this kind of attention

and be surprised and it may take me some time to process what's actually happening. It may take

more than one of these encounters for me to understand and feel comfortable so don't be put off

if he doesn't immediately appear to reciprocate.

I just thought of another great way, walk up to him and start grinding your ass into his crotch area,

that is a guaranteed expression of interest. :) OK, this might work in a club but not in the office.

Alex_O7 · 2019-01-17T11:35:34+00:00

There are a lot of good answer yet, but i want to suggest to you one more thing. Aside from all the specific advice, you have to be more confident in yourself. Try to be more open to people , be positive, smile, and try to make new frinds and know you people.

As far as i know, for men and women, it is the same. They are way more attractive if they are positive people with everytime a smile and their faces and nothing seems to piss them off.

Then when you are more confident and self aware you would get tons of males attention.

2019-01-17T16:19:51+00:00

I’m a junior in college right now who is tired of waiting for guys to make the first move.

took this as motivation for myself, and so should everyone else here. thanks

09piercd · 2019-01-17T11:58:22+00:00

You can communicate your interests to men in so many ways. That's not the problem. Not to be harsh but it sounds to me like you're not paying any attention to any guys. If you focus on one guy you like and then they will see that you are into them. Actually have ana extended verbal conversation, in which you look at them and listen to them.

ericporing · 2019-01-17T12:19:55+00:00

Use the wonders of touch. Find excuses to touch his muscles, face (ooo there's something dirty on your face), pat him on the back, compare your hands on how big they are compared to yours etc.

temerity18 · 2019-01-17T07:42:02+00:00

Keep really long eye contact with a sly smile. Touch him. Physically be really close to his body. To name a few. Fortune favors the bold.

sharkislord · 2019-01-17T08:09:43+00:00

Well I would also advise you to be more forward but there is a risk, guys that I know dislike not being able to chase. (validate the chase characteristic of the man beforehand)

So the idea I propose is to make the clues more obvious and then when the guy realises and probably loses slight value for you then make the clues disappear. Pull push, make every move more intense but pull as soon as the guy takes you for granted.

Check out the coquette seduction type, not too difficult to implement for women and without much change to personality or looks.

http://www.womenlovepower.com/2016/04/13-feminine-seduction-archetypes-the-coquette/

Dream3r111 · 2019-01-17T11:50:37+00:00

Talk about him and his interests, be thoroughly impressed by what he's done and escalate.

Escalate escalate escalate. Some people you will connect with and some are not meant to be, that's nature.

If you do feel the connection then escalate. While you need to build it up slowly when chatting, activities could include putting your hand on his to stroke when chatting, or saying you should go for another drink and holding his hand on the way to the bar. At the bar naturally let your body brush against him when standing together.

Playfully tease him. Take a sip of his drink, go on a private walk with him for fresh air, escalate on the walk and he should go in for a kiss or otherwise you can push it.

It's not that you can do all those straight away, such that if you're chatting with him for 1-4 hours and let it build you're doing well.

Ask him what he's doing later in the evening. If he's busy trade numbers then later in the week invite him around to catch up and watch Netflix on your bed together.

raw__shark · 2019-01-17T15:47:36+00:00

Bring up sex in the conversation. "I just recently got out of a relationship with a terrible lover, he's such a cute guy but just couldn't make me come..." "do you believe in soul mates? I did when i was dating my first mf, I mean he was my first time so that's always special, isn't it?" If a guy isn't thinking about you romantically, talking about sex is a pretty immediate way to force those thoughts!

K3wp · 2019-01-17T17:47:05+00:00

Carry a lollipop with you and then just lick really slow and sexual while you make eye contact with a guy you like.

john_dune · 2019-01-17T18:03:25+00:00

Use your words. "hey do you want to go on a date?" "hey, I think you're good looking, want to get coffee?"

It's pretty simple. Just put yourself out there.

stevenmarkryan · 2019-01-18T06:08:13+00:00

The actual answer is approach, ask him on a definite date, go on said date.

Title	Help me [20f] learn how to flirt with guys
Author	90860008
Upvotes	42
Comments	29
Date	January 17, 2019 6:13 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aguudy/help_me_20f_learn_how_to_flirt_with_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-me-20f-learn-how-to-flirt-with-guys.1291462 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291462

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