Help me break my stigma against learning seduction/PUA

edbenz · 2012-06-22T20:07:32+00:00

You should want to learn seduction in order to develop a deeper relationship with someone than you would with your best friend. Trust me, women are just plain more open than men, and it makes them very interesting sometimes. So, if you're tired of hanging out with your guy friends because that's all you think you like, try getting to really know a girl and see what happens.

Cookiemobsta · 2012-06-22T20:12:25+00:00

If it conflicts with your values, listen to your gut. You don't want to find success with women at the cost of losing yourself.

Plus, if you want to get better at relationships with females, you don't need to use seduction. There are lots of healthy places to learn how to get along well with girls. Don't settle.

And trust me. The satisfaction and enjoyment that comes from a really healthy, intimate relationship, where you don't have to fake anything and where you don't have to be ashamed of the tricks you used---that is way, way better than anything you can build using seduction.

Jay-grove · 2012-06-22T18:49:20+00:00

It seems to me that you, along with millions of other men these days, have been emasculated.

You are a man.

There is not a DAMN THING wrong with wanting to sleep with women.

Many of our mothers have fed us the nice guy crap our entire lives which is most likely the root of your personal conflict here.

The ability to adapt and get what you want out of life is a skill that should not be looked down upon. Seriously. My personal belief is that as long as you are honest and not deceiving or outright lying to women, no holds are barred.

Regarding your comment about doing something just to get laid being a terrible thing to do... why would you say that? Does that apply to anything else in life? Do you feel bad when you dress unusually well for a job interview, just to get the job? Do you feel bad when you drive to the grocery store, just to buy groceries?

What I'm saying is that there is a big misconception in society that men should feel ashamed of their sexuality and pretend to be castrated lemmings. You and I both know it is bullshit. Sometimes it is hard to go against the grain, but as long as you know what you want in life, damn any man or woman that judges you for it.

Good luck.

jyzuskhrist · 2012-06-22T18:40:04+00:00

For me seddit isnt about getting other people to like you as much as it is becoming a likeable person and displaying likeable traits. Don't try to get other people to be interested in you, try to become an interesting person. Just some food for thought.

Marsupian · 2012-06-22T20:44:22+00:00

I would never do something just to please women.

Thats good because that is one of the first things you will learn from pickup. Girls don't want guys who do things for them like buying them drinks or giving them complements etc. They want a guy who does things for himself and to have a fun time.

Pickup is about having fun, getting to know people/woman and if you like said people/woman explore how far you can take the interaction/relationship or try to get the interaction to where you want.

You will learn to be outgoing, have fun, be more awesome, interact with woman and if you want learn how to get them on dates or have sex with them.

jasonhchoi · 2012-06-22T21:06:33+00:00

I've always seen doing something for the sole purpose of getting laid a miserable, base, and subhuman thing to do.

Some questions to consider:

What if you could learn tons about seduction and use it to merely meet lots of women. Does learning seduction mean you have to get laid all the time?
Do you see the seduction is mostly about improving yourself and not just getting laid? What if getting laid is just the natural byproduct of having improved yourself? Would you be willing to at least learn so that you can relate to women better?
Do you believe it is wrong to experience pleasure (i.e. self-gratification)? If so, then is it wrong to enjoy eating your favorite dish? That is literally what it sounds like you are saying! You may as well stop eating delicious food!
Did you ever wonder why a female body has a 'pleasure button' which has nothing to do with reproduction? That alone is a huge hint: It suggests it's perfectly okay to experience sexual pleasure, just like eating a ridiculously awesome steak.
Are you willing to be subhuman? Do you see that being subhuman is just a judgment based on an artificially created standard that you don't have to buy into? Could it be that you 'feel bad' about sex because of conditioning (like the way cult members are brainwashed)? This is exactly what it is!
Do you see that your willingness to come here and ask questions means you're already learning seduction/PUA? In my mind at least, seduction is self-improvement applied to relating to women.

The issue you have regarding sex is something I can relate to. It's this notion that sex is 'sinful' or that it is 'wrong'. That is just a judgment. What if you grew up in a society where everyone told you that eating with your left hand is wrong?

Well there are societies where they will NEVER do that because they ascribed meaning onto eating with the left hand. In fact, in the middle east, one of the worst punishments of a crime is to cut off the right hand. Why? Because it is considered shameful to eat with your left hand (the left hand is supposedly dirty). Likewise, you (though probably no fault of your own) ascribed meaning onto your dick and when you could use it. When, in reality, no such meaning inherently exists in you dick, just as there is no inherent meaning in your left hand! So question your limiting beliefs!

Here's another way of looking at it:

What if there is a woman who is longing to experience sexual pleasure with a man, and that man is YOU? How would you feel if you denied her the unique experience of her feeling your dick inside of her? What if that is EXACTLY what you are doing by holding onto judgments that don't serve you?

Hope this helps!

BrindleKindle · 2012-06-23T04:59:45+00:00

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Glover

fluidkarma · 2012-06-23T15:01:10+00:00

The venusian arts are about connecting with anyone you want, including beautiful women...

OnTheWayToPUA · 2012-06-24T02:28:55+00:00

I've always seen doing something for the sole purpose of getting laid a miserable, base, and subhuman thing to do.

Hey man, just about this this community is more about just learning how to get laid, I have been lurking here for the past month and am starting to get and practice things. One big thing I found about this whole community as it says on the said is it’s a self-improvement reddit too.

It doesn’t teach you magic words or phrases that make women want to sleep with you. What it helps you build up and improve on many things and it actually helps you become more confident and live more freely that you have before, I used to always care what people thought about me too much and it really affected things I was doing when out in a club/pub with friends as I didn't want to be "stupid looking" or anything else but now I’ve learned how to not give a fuck.

It helps improve social skills and it allows you to get rid of a lot of self-inflicted limits. It as edbenz has can be used to help create a lot of deep relationships with people and expand your whole social circle. And from some of these relationships there might be some you want to follow and make sexual relationships. Like I personally have found a lot of the things on this reddit that have thought me a lot that I have been able to use in job interviews such as eye contact and body language etc.

And If you want to get laid there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s human nature, a lot of people do it, and it’s not only men a lot of women go out to clubs dressed as nicely as the can or whatever just to attract guys to get laid. If it’s something you want to do then who cares what other people think of it because at the end of the day like it says in the no more mr nice guy book (that im in the process of reading) you just have to learn to make yourself happy. Sorry its so long !

suddenly_fap · 2012-06-22T18:12:12+00:00

Well seduction is what it is, women like to get seduced, they like to be "swept off their feet" and if you can accomplish that and achieve your goals, it's a win-win situation.

It's not solely on getting laid but more on building confidence in your everyday life in your everyday interactions. The confidence just happens to attract girls as well as enlarging your social circle and making you an allaround better person.

TL;DR: just do it

chet_hunter · 2012-06-22T20:08:30+00:00

You are emasculated as fuck breh and you're definitely afraid of your sexuality deny it all you want. Success with women is like success with anything else little guy. You "really want" something you say but you say doing something to get it is miserable and subhuman? Sorry breh you've built a wall of rationalization to cope with your fear of women. You don't have to change who you are to get good with women loling at that idea.

Grow a sack little breh.

Title	Help me break my stigma against learning seduction/PUA
Author	jyzuskhrist
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	June 22, 2012 5:58 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vg1pj/help_me_break_my_stigma_against_learning/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-me-break-my-stigma-against-learning.1334496 https://theredarchive.com/post/1334496

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