How do I stop hyper-fixating on female approval?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-26T16:48:47+00:00

When you look for female approval is because deep down you still feel like you are not good enough, that you have internalized the belief from a young age that love is conditional, that respect has to be earned, that your quirks or unique charactersitics are undesirable or problematic, and thus you need woman to convince you that they are fine in order to feel at peace with yourself.

The problem is women can't never give you that peace, so using women to find that peace within yourself is a futile endevour because even if a girl choses to be with you, the lingering self-doubt is still there in your head, causing you to doubt whether you even deserve her, or whether you can keep her around for too long.

So you need to dig into your past, maybe with therapy, dig into how your parents and teachers raised you, how they punished you and for what reason? how you interpreted those punishments or emotional voids? Cuz the answer lies somewhere in there and it's not a quick fix, it's a journey of developing positive internal dialogue, self-acceptance, and resilience.

PeachFantastic9169 · 2025-07-26T16:45:23+00:00

By knowing that seeking their approval turns them off. They want you to not care and be comfortable with who you are. Some will like it, some won't. Even if you fake it in front of them, you can't do it forever.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-07-26T18:04:21+00:00

Approval is 'free' when you're enjoying yourself. They will go out of their way to involve themselves in what's happening if it seems better than what they're doing. If you feel great, you don't need the approval, but it will be given to you anyway.

The problem is wanting the approval while feeling like shit, as a handout to 'get you out of the hole'. You frankly don't deserve it at that point, and won't get it, because you're not offering an enticing product to begin with.

It's just being honest about your position. It's nothing to do with approval, feedback, it's everything to do with enjoying yourself, offering value upfront. Offer value, get good reactions; you focus on your actions, not the reaction.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-07-26T17:06:52+00:00

See them as equals to you, not better and not worse.

SuperbRole5635 · 2025-07-26T17:07:36+00:00

Hey bro I struggle with this also at times. For me, working on myself (gym, yoga) helps build my self worth up. Also realizing that women are flawed humans and are not to be put on a pedestal.

Sendittor · 2025-07-26T16:09:14+00:00

The girls you are not attracted to, you weren't treating special because you don't give a shit; now do the same thing with the girls you are attracted to.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-07-26T17:38:59+00:00

The short answer and simplest way to do this is to sleep with women who are "easy money" to you. Of course it isn't recommended to keep doing this for a long time but to build up your confidence, it definitely does help just to sleep with more attainable women before targeting the ones who are more LTR material.

Captain_w00t · 2025-07-27T17:45:40+00:00

These kind of questions have already the answer by changing the form into sentence.

UltraAirWolf · 2025-07-27T23:17:52+00:00

It’s fine to be obsessed with girls. You just have to desensitize yourself to rejection. You just got to get really good by reading a lot and approaching a lot. The only way out is through. The more you improve yourself and treat yourself well and with love the less their approval will matter.

Makakka2002 · 2025-07-28T02:00:29+00:00

For me approval is the main drive im addicted to clean attraction triggers too but on abstract my man in abstract meaning I don’t need it from specific women that’s your problem you fixate neediness pussy repellent

SordidConsort2024 · 2025-07-28T13:24:32+00:00

To a degree, this is not your fault. You have been raised in a society which is ruled by the feminine imperative. Like most young western men, you have been taught your whole life to put women on a pedestal.

Turn your focus inward and work on yourself. Be the best “you” that you can be. Women won’t bring you contentment or a good life, they can only supplement what is already there. You have to be living your best life already. Once you’re doing that, you’ll naturally care less about what they think because you’ll know you’re killing it. You won’t need the approval. And as soon as they see that you don’t need them, that’s when they want you the most.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-26T18:45:11+00:00

You stop fixating on female approval by considering the consequences of that mindset.

Read the Book of Genesis. I'm not trying to Bible or Torah push, its the oldest known writing that teaches human nature.

Men's default nature is righteous and ethical because they are less easily influenced by outside factors.

Women's default nature is deviant and deceptive because they are highly susceptible to being influenced.

The serpent could not influence Adam directly, so he targeted Eve knowing that she could.

Adam's weakness was he prioritized his wife's approval over the approval of his creator and he was deceived and accepted her offering, which led both of them and all of us to ruin.

Hyper fixation on female approval can ruin your life. Why would you be concerned with getting the approval of someone who's job it is to deceive you? The woman should seek your approval because it's your job to protect her, even from herself.

Title	How do I stop hyper-fixating on female approval?
Author	blkwzrd_lite
Upvotes	19
Comments	22
Date	July 26, 2025 3:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1m9wtvo/how_do_i_stop_hyperfixating_on_female_approval/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-hyper-fixating-on-female-approval.1558141 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558141

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