How do you define 'inner game'?

saulisdating · 2017-02-22T17:01:39+00:00

Ok, here's what inner game is:

It means that you have your shit together as a person. I say this a lot, but I'll now explain further...

It's primarily these things: Getting your insecurities handled, dealing with your self-esteem issues, and developing your personality as well as attractive character traits.

The first two are the most important ones - dealing with insecurities and self-esteem problems - because they are responsible for most of the issues that guys face with women and why they have a hard time talking to them.

Then there are secondary things, like employing certain mindsets and attitudes when you're socializing, and getting rid of various negative and limiting beliefs while replacing them with healthy ones, along with setting some healthy boundaries.

And when you get all these things handled - you can say that you have fantastic inner game.

In essence, it means that you are someone who does not have a bunch of insecurities in your life like anxiety, fear, nervousness, shyness, self-doubt, and other similar things that negatively affect your life and the way you interact with other people.

It also means that you are secure in yourself and have a healthy self-esteem. You know that you are enough just the way you are - because you're human, just like everyone else. It means you don't place women on pedestals because you realize that they are regular people, just like you, who eat, breathe, shit, fart, and sleep to survive - just like you do. And you talk to them like regular people, with their own individual likes, dislikes, desires, values, ideals, and so on. Talking like that to a smoking hot woman without becoming a blubbering mess because of her looks does wonders for attraction.

However, believing that "you are enough" does not mean that "you are enough and should never improve". On the contrary, people who are secure in themselves understand that constant self-improvement is the only way to live a good and fulfilling life. You either improve yourself as a person, raising your inherent value and getting lots of opportunities in return - or stagnate and die off.

Which means that you also have to improve your social skills to become better with women, and with other people in general. So you start learning those skills, and you also develop your personality in the process, acquiring certain very attractive character traits through experience. Traits like Confidence, Dominance, Indifference, Directness, Decisiveness, Excitement, Self-Reliance, Security, Entitlement, Masculinity, Passion, Authenticity, being Sex-Positive, and Nonjudgmental, and some other ones.

Seriously, most people who I've come across can be helped by getting these core things handled.

This allows you lead your life the way you want to - and not according to other people. It means you don't give a shit about all the negativity that surrounds you because you have full and uncompromising belief in yourself and your ability to lead your life how YOU want to lead it.

In turn, you will approach and talk to women to actually get to know them - and only THEN decide if you want to sleep with them, based on what you find out. Because men who don't have their inner game in order usually decide that they want to sleep with some hot girl the second they see her, without actually even knowing a thing about her - solely based on her looks! And that's pretty shallow by any standard, and it reeks of desperation, lack of life experience and shows that you have no women in your life.

In fact, that's pretty much mistake numero uno, in any approach. And it has a lot to do with your inner game because if you instantly decide to sleep with the girl without knowing a thing about her and just basing everything on her looks - you have no real standards and don't respect yourself enough.

And self-respect is a very important part of a healthy self-esteem.

Anyway, for most people it takes a few years to get their inner game issues handled. And you'll never deal with them if you're someone who's passive and does not take action, and does not go out and experience what life has to offer. That's because a lot of guys don't actually go out and socialize anymore. A lot of people work, then go home, watch TV, play video games, do some hobbies, maybe meet up with some buddies... But they never actually go and interact with other unknown people face to face, especially women. As a result, they don't naturally acquire social skills and experience with other people - and don't develop their personality or their attractive character traits. And they end up being socially awkward, inept, and clueless with women.

Oh, and getting your life in order does not mean "get a good job, have lots of money, and so on". It simply means that you live your life the way you want to, and are happy with it. And that's different for each and every individual. I've actually written an extensive article about this on Quora.

I could go on and on, since this is just scratching the surface - but I just realized I typed up a whole wall of text, and I don't want to make this too long.

TL;DR = Inner game is about dealing with your inner issues - Getting your insecurities and self-esteem issues handled, and developing your personality as well as attractive character traits.

Cheers!

G_Refined · 2017-02-22T15:58:38+00:00

In my opinion, inner game is everything that is abstract about you. Confidence, charisma, sense of humor, neediness, basically your personality. I don't think career or hobbies have anything to do with inner game at all, but I do agree they help a ton, just like looks. Inner game is the true path to ongoing success with women, routines and lines which I guess you consider outer game are ways to artificially create attraction that inner game does naturally. The stuff like job and hobbies are just modifiers to this, I don't think they fit under inner or outer game.

pathe1 · 2017-02-22T15:20:09+00:00

Inner game in terms of what most people relate it too is overrated in my mind. Lots of people say ''Get your life sorted out and the girls will start approaching you!!'' - This couldn't be less true in my eyes. Sure, I know people with 'classically 'good lives' (good career, hobbies etc) who get laid lots, but I also know people with 'classically good lives who never get laid.

In my opinion, inner game is simply 'confidence' BUT(!!!!) it has to be specific to talking too and attracting girls!!! That's the distinction. People seem to think that being confident in your ability to do your job, and confident in your ability to win a game of pool, and even confident 'in general' with a clear life goal (whatever that is) translates into confidence when it comes to approaching some 10/10 stunning teenager in a bar, when it really doesn't! There's just no correlation. My boss at work comes across as a VERY confident man. He is 'on his life's purpose' as they say, with a fire in his belly to succeed and has a kind of 'general confidence' about him, based on having been successful in life in general, BUT he'd fold like origami if I made him approach some Victoria's Secret model in a pub. I've seen him fold and get flustered on a works night out with the gorgeous young friend of one of his members of staff who caught his eye.

I kind of think that i'd have the best 'inner game' in the world If I had the face of a young Brad Pitt (without the fame) for example! ") - That's instant 'confidence with girls' right there, since you know that she is very likely to think you are hot and be receptive to your advances from the get-go.

Basically 'inner game' = confidence WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR ABILITY TO ATTRACT HOT GIRLS.

This is usually only the result of lots of positive reference experiences or if you're young, lots of girls telling you that you are hot etc. You can't magic it our of thin air without any RELATED experiences that have actually GIVEN you this confidence

t1mman · 2017-02-22T17:18:02+00:00

With “inner game”, you don’t need techniques, you don’t need ways to open, you don’t need all that pragmatic bullcrap because you do it naturaly. I tend to think that all scripted and technical shit is sucking the fun out of seduction. It’s not about what you say, and it doesn’t really matters; it’s how you say and how you react to the world around you. Basicaly, how you listen to what’s appening.

You don’t need a script because you listen and you hav a genuine interest, you ask questions, pay attention and listen instead of waiting for your time to talk, for your line to say, for your time to “move”.

Just like escalation, the thing is totally natural and it’s a normal “dance” between two humans attracted to each others. You ask non verbal questions and listen to non-verbal answers and you push the boundaries. You just go with the flow, push and pull and have fun doing so. Seduction is a fun game that you play together with another person, not a pragmatic technic to try to manipulate someone to your bed. You are confident enough to take chances, take risks and try things even when you are not sure how it will end. You know that taking risks leads to higher rewards. You’ve grown out of the need for security before making a move.

Same things for the “neediness”, you are not needy when you lead a fulfiliing life, you don’t answer a text right away because you’re with a couples of bros, having a drink at the pub. You’re not available every night because you have a game of whatever sports, or you have a training, or you’re working early in the morning.

Inner game is just being a complete human, leading a fulfilling, healthy and balanced life and THAT is attractive.

Title	How do you define 'inner game'?
Author	chuckmeaway01
Upvotes	9
Comments	18
Date	February 22, 2017 2:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5vixsk/how_do_you_define_inner_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-define-inner-game.1420659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1420659

Comments

And when you get all these things handled - you can say that you have fantastic inner game.