How does it feel going from Nice Guy to PUA?

2011-09-20T19:44:17+00:00

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ge99 · 2011-09-20T19:19:43+00:00

Woah woah woah!

You don't stop being nice just because you are a PUA. There is nothing in PUA material that says "be a dick" or "stop being nice". You don't stop "putting up with" shit tests, you have fun and deflect them.

2011-09-21T04:30:40+00:00

I don't know how "nice" I ever was, but I sure as shit was awkward and anxious. Now, it's so much different.

The difference? Feeling, when you see a chick, that "I could never do that" versus "I may very well take her home and fuck her tonight, time to work my magic." That's the difference. From a big barrier between you and women to anyone being a legit possibility. The world is your oyster at that point.

frogma · 2011-09-20T19:58:48+00:00

It feels like the world's been lifted off your shoulders.

The awkwardness goes away (though I don't think it ever really disappears).

You become more of a dick when you start having consistent success. That's just how it works. When you see how awesome you are, you believe in that and you tend not to question it. You have to gain even more experience before you realize that dickish behavior is just as bad as insecure behavior. And then it starts to even itself out, and you find a middle ground.

3109 · 2011-09-21T00:52:33+00:00

I think your question is very misleading. PUA ≠ dick. However, seeing as you're completely new at this I can see how you'd think that. PUA's are dominant and aggressive, but they're not assholes (well, not all of them). The difference is that they experience the freedom to say what they want in a very honest way.

I'm still nowhere close to becoming the man I want to be, but looking back I've had massive improvements. I remember I said to a girl once: "You're pretty cool. You know, even if I didn't want to fuck you, I'd still hang out with you." (I meant it.) Her response? Laughter and "OMG hahahah" Being honest and truthful goes a very long way.

If you were to tell me a year ago to say that to a girl I would probably think, "Jesus, I would never say that. Sounds like something a douchebag would say." But that's just because those are two different perspectives and realities (in this case, one of a Nice Guy and another of a PUA).

So how does it feel to become more confident? I like to think that it's liberating. That you're not nervous to say what you want and you stop giving a fuck about what other people think. And it's one of the best feelings you can experience. Start putting yourself out of your comfort zone and get use to the feeling, you wont regret it.

alexryane2 · 2011-09-21T18:29:19+00:00

10 Years Ago:

I'd be close friends with girls who I really had a crush on and never tell them.
I would go shopping with them because hey that's what they wanted to do.
The thought of making a move on a girl was in the same league as walking over hot coals.
All hot guys were the enemy, cos, fuck them all!
Sex with my first girlfriend more than once a week was just a fantasy!

Now:

I'm careful as fuck about the women I make friends with or have relationships with.
I'll barely leave my post code to meet a girl, forget following them around a shop.
I always kiss on the first date, I get rejected about 1 out of 10.
See a hot guy on the street: check out his outfit, meet a hot guy at a party: chat about the girls.
Fucking two different women is an average weekend.

But, some of the downsides have been:

I've given up on the ideal that I can have any woman I want. I've stopped wanting those women.
Women are a lot less special now, it feels like there is nothing really that special in life.
I can never be faithful ever again. Like playing a game when you know all the cheat codes.
Women dominate and confuse my life more than ever.
My happiness is no longer dependent on any particular girl, it's dependant on all of them!
That feeling you have as a virgin of "If only I could be with just one girl, just one" did not last.
When I started out, every girl was special, because I got with maybe one new girl every couple of years at best. Now it's easily 1 a month but only one has been special in the past 2 years and she is a cold heartless bitch who made me feel it was more than sex and broke my heart.

doomgoblin · 2011-09-20T22:10:09+00:00

You have more control in social situations. You're proactive not reactive, and can shape situations, outcomes, etc a little more. Its like being tossed an oar for your canoe in the river of social interaction, bitches.

2011-09-21T06:14:51+00:00

I kinda feel the same way OP. I used to be a cheesy Nice Guy™, 2-3+ years back. But PUA and Seduction has been a godsend that has put me on a level playing ground with all my other friends, acquaintances and bros (sigh) that are naturally good with women. I'm still a work in progress though.

But this playful and teasing behavior works. It creates attraction and sexual tension. And virtually all my "natural" friends do this. It will come natural with time, at least I hope it does.

alphaasfuck · 2011-09-21T05:55:53+00:00

Ok, here's the thing no one is saying. Yes. In order to establish an equilibrium of how much of an ass you actually want to be, you will need to experience the dickish side of you. You will realize that it is a dickish and move back to what you feel comfortable with - being yourself, but opening up a bit to what you can get away with. I had to hurt several people before I came to terms with the balance, and those people noticed I wasn't being myself. We are all still friends.

Title	How does it feel going from Nice Guy to PUA?
Author	mytuppence
Upvotes	12
Comments	16
Date	September 20, 2011 7:13 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/klvil/how_does_it_feel_going_from_nice_guy_to_pua/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-it-feel-going-from-nice-guy-to-pua.1322732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322732

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