How does the ‘sexual preferences’ come up before the act?

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-01-11T12:30:35+00:00

Do and see how she reacts.

Then be empathetic if they aren't comfortable with it. You might very well be able to convince them to do it.

Still, ask before coming on her face if it's the first time you meet lol.

getyourlifeplease · 2020-01-11T12:35:45+00:00

I like being asked directly what I'm into sexually....but NOT too soon (aka - never ever the first date). Typically this kinda convo is had after you already had sex once - THEN it isnt so awkward and blunt. I've been known to ask the guy "so what is your sexual style" and letting the convo go from there

grrinchas · 2020-01-11T14:19:57+00:00

The best time to ask these questions is when you had normal sex first time.

Personally, I need time to get used to the person, before trying anything BDSM related.

PiperBigBell · 2020-01-11T15:39:18+00:00

In my experiences asking girls about turn ons over text before you've either had sex with her or have fully established that she not only sees you sexually, but are going to see her again, is a bad idea. Why? Because if you haven't established anything like sex or consistency, she'll likely feel like next time you see her, sex has to happen, and then she'll be to scared to meet you out again.

Having that conversation in person is far better. Because you can gauge how she really feels about what she's saying, through her tonality, body language, how she smiles about it, her eye contact. More important than asking her sexual preferences, which really isn't a good question, is to ask her about the best sex she's had with different guys. Girls get turned on remembering this stuff and she'll show you what's up.

Plus, the first time you have sex, you want it to feel as casual as possible. So too many questions can get her in her head and have the sex not feel natural. If you want to try things, don't ask her. That's permission seeking behavior in bed, turning her off. Instead, hint at what you might want to do and gauge how her body responds.

So if you like to pull hair but she looks really conservative, run your hands through her while doing doggy style. Simulating you pulling it. Gradually doing it rougher. And starting to actually grab it. Does her back arch more? Does she moan more? Now you see.

Pre sex talk should consist of you asking her about her fun sexual experiences. You can ask her what she likes, but in the context of it not being you and her. More vague is better. Now if it's obvious you two are totally on and are imminently about to fuck, make it specific if you really care.

So. You two sitting alone on a couch. Crazy eye contact. Flirting. Sexual vibe, tonality. Teasing. Light touching. Pushing. You say something like, "Something tells me you love being spanked. Your ass isn't that soft and bouncy for no reason." Say it suggestive. Make her curious. It's far better to make statements than to ask questions. Because statements let her mind wonder.

Whereas questions are usually yes or no or have to be answered a certain way. Or you could say, "Tell me about the best time you've gotten eaten out. I feel like you taste like bubblegum". Make questions in the form of statements. She'll end up telling you everything you want to know.

If you're in the right setting, and the vibe is right, you can say this stuff to any girl. Doesn't matter the date. What matters is, are they turned on and open enough, feeling judgement free enough to answer?

HumanContract · 2020-01-11T15:49:56+00:00

I think everyone has come to the general consensus that you must first actually fuck before asking her what her fucking preferences are. Right? Make sure she'll even let you have a chance before you think you'll rock her world.

axe122 · 2020-01-12T06:15:05+00:00

It’s much hotter when a girl just says something dirty to you then when you have to prompt her to say it but that’s even stronger for women as they typically don’t like being in control. They almost all have a fantasy of being dominated your just wondering what level they like it to go to.

I found if I’m a certain level of confident and doninant from the beginning they will all do literally whatever I want. Not on first time having sex but I’ll start off being a little dominant and progress it further and further each time until she’s literally telling me all her sexual fantasizes. I remember them ,write them down and make them happen months after. It’s hotter for them if they forget they told you all about it or you can create new fantasies for them based on the ones they told you. I ask them post sex when they are naked in my arms I’ll ask what there biggest fantasy is. I’m looking for particular scenarios when I ask this not if they like hair pulled, spanked or tied up cuz I know they want that stuff. They just don’t want it from a guy who’s timid. They don’t want to be submissive to a boy only to A man who takes what he wants. If she’s not comfortable with something she’ll let you know and don’t be all apologetic just say okay I’ll stay away from that and don’t do it again lol Being all apologetic would instantly break your frame and she would feel like she’s totally I. Control when they want to feel like your in control. An example with the last girl I slept with loved being spanked during sex but I bent her over my lap and spanned her, later she told me it triggered her and she didn’t like it. I just in a relaxed way said okay we don’t have to do that I have plenty of other sexy things I’m gonna do with and to you. We continued experimenting with different fantasies she had.

Something may have happened as a child you don’t know but just be respectful about it without getting all in so so sorry is really weak and they don’t wanna submit to weak men. They also want to submit to dominant men so don’t ruin their fantasy or idea of you.

I remember getting head when I was younger and it was like a chore for them cuz it’s very submissive for a girl and they are just pleasing you. It was literally like work for her and wasn’t that enjoyable for me watching someone do something they didn’t wanna do but now the girls in with literally can’t suck it enough. They love pleasing me because they love being submissive to me.

eht_amgine_enihcam · 2020-01-11T23:19:18+00:00

Might be different and ineffective, but I just ask them beforehand when it's obvious they're gonna hook up and it's calibrated. Cause most of the girls I get are 18-20, I usually ask about a past relationship, talk about if it was just wholesome going to the movies etc. Girl will usually volunteer they did something sexual if she's into me. Lead conversation into what she likes in bed, favorite positions, spanking, spit or swallow etc.

Pretty much only way to find out is to ask tbh. Alternative is escalating slowly up to things, but stuff like choking and anal you kinda wanna be sure she's up for it.

Title	How does the ‘sexual preferences’ come up before the act?
Author	l1ght-
Upvotes	1
Comments	10
Date	January 11, 2020 12:29 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/en6ve9/how_does_the_sexual_preferences_come_up_before/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-the-sexual-preferences-come-up-before-the.1488244 https://theredarchive.com/post/1488244

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