When a Girl Says "Work for me"

tramplemestilsken · 2018-05-12T17:52:04+00:00

Basically modern dating in a nutshell. Everyone thinks of themselves as the prize, and thinks they should be the one that is chased.

HSTmjr · 2018-05-12T19:17:15+00:00

There will always be a majority of guys who are willing to trip over themselves to win over a girl - this mentality will never go away

CreeperSutherland · 2018-05-12T19:22:45+00:00

I don’t chase em, I replace em.

DarkArtsPUA11 · 2018-05-12T16:22:10+00:00

screening.

some girls are too immature, too lame, too stuck up, etc to want to fuck right away. you screen these girls out. if you're a high value guy and coming to the table with good intentions, and the girl is saying "work for me" you screen her out and pursue other girls that are dtf

dinnerwithfunions · 2018-05-12T18:21:45+00:00

I’d rather move on and focus on someone else than risk crossing a threshold into harassment.

Salkin_the_great · 2018-05-12T17:58:22+00:00

It does not work. Women that say they want guy to work for them are just attention whores. No amount of wotk will make her want you. The more you give the more she wants so its nevet ending cycle of misery for you.

AlecCorbett · 2018-05-13T00:34:44+00:00

This is annoying as sin because they also say "No means No".

I'm fine with rejection, but I'm not fine with playing these games. I would rather move on and talk to a girl that is more grown than that. .

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-05-12T17:44:44+00:00

Women are told to play hard to get, its an okay strategy but it filters out a lot of guys who would get disappointed and move on, and it doesn't filter out the a-holes who persist until they get what they want.

ijorthegreat · 2018-05-12T20:15:31+00:00

It has nothing to do with gender equality. If you experience a girl telling you this to your face, it is most likely a shit-test. She is elevating herself to protect her ego. She is also looking to see what your reaction is going to be so she can judge your character. If you react negatively, you lose her immediately. Let me give you two examples of what to do.

Her: "You better try harder."

Him1: "Actually, I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. If I was you I would be naked by now ;)"

Him2: "I can't. Those are all my tricks. If you're not completely seduced by now then there's no way we can have four children ;)".

You don't actually "try harder" because that implies that she's the one that has to give up something to be with you. You playfully reframe the situation to your advantage.

You don't allow yourself to be affected by she shit-tests negatively and you take her comment in a lighthearted way which signals that you've still got this

MagicGainbow · 2018-05-12T18:27:20+00:00

I'd say anyone with that entitled an attitude is not worth the effort.

oxford_comma1 · 2018-05-12T16:56:29+00:00

Women are not the prize. You can’t pedestalize(not sure if this is a word) women. It comes off as needy and is just generally a bad frame of mind in the first place. You have to believe that you’re the prize that she has to win over.

NilacTheGrim · 2018-05-12T23:40:45+00:00

Eh, as much as I agree with the spirit of what you are saying you can't actually ignore the fact that on some deep level for many women there is a grain of truth in what she said.

The thing is if you look around the animal kingdom, it's usually the case that the males try to convince the females of how awesome they ( the males ) are and why the females should pick THEM to mate with.

Male confidence and shows of amazingness are all sexy to females -- this includes human females.

When a woman says that she wants you to "work" for it -- she's saying she wants to be inspired by you and wants to see a display of your awesome maleness, whatever that may be in her mind. Whether it's your ability to quote geeky facts or something else. Maybe it's your courage. Your boldness. Sometimes it's enough to come up to her in a crowded room while she's busy talking to her friends and obviously hit on her in a flattering way such that all her friends think she's the shit -- and all her friends respect the balls it took for you to do that.

She'll admire your courage and respect you if you do that.

Simply asking her out in a cool and predictable way may not be that impressive. She wants a reason to be inspired by you.

The idea here is she needs to feel like she made a good decision "picking you" -- and also wants to get turned on by your awesomeness.

So don't take what she said the wrong way. If anything it's really fucking good intel.

Source: I'm 41 and definitely had times in my life where the sparks just weren't there. And other times where I had magical sparks from day 1 with a particular woman I was chasing. Every damn time the sparks ignited themselves MUCH faster when I did something bold or impressive or decisive. And every damn time the sparks sucked it was because I was holding back and being too cautious. Every. Damn. Time.

Also .. I agree -- the genders should have equal opportunity socially and under the law.

But you can't ignore how we're wired. We're wired differently and lord knows why we are, but it's just the way we are.

So don't be so quick to dismiss your coworker. There is definitely a grain of truth to what she said. Take it as valuable intel "from the other side". ;)

luaudesign · 2018-05-12T21:34:13+00:00

A girl that's hard for one dude is easy for another.

It may sounds paradoxical but, if she's hard for you, she's not worth it for you, because she was never that much into you to begin with, and you want a girl that is very into you.

Next Her™

Apophyx · 2018-05-12T23:50:40+00:00

Since I've been taught that no means no, then I'll move on and forget.

locotx · 2018-05-12T20:19:39+00:00

"Work for you? . . how much you gonna pay me?"

softrainbowpeecake · 2018-05-12T20:37:08+00:00

I don't see this as a question of gender equality. Guys do like to see themselves as a "prize" also. This is all about preferences, some like to pursue and some don't

Heavell85 · 2018-05-12T22:34:49+00:00

A girl already said me I was lucky to date her like she was the price... I mean she was really hot but hey wow. Finally it seem I were the price cause she only wanted sex with me...

WIA20XX · 2018-05-12T22:56:16+00:00

She'll get what she deserves, a lap dog.

Zoidberg22 · 2018-05-12T23:29:53+00:00

See ya later

RxCubed · 2018-05-13T01:19:14+00:00

Start laughing in her face, stop, look her up and down, then keep laughing.

autoeroticassfxation · 2018-05-13T02:11:19+00:00

Don't forget, what women consciously think they want is usually different from what they subconsciously want. They are far more complex than guys.

Original_Dankster · 2018-05-13T03:51:10+00:00

So I ask if a woman you just met said something like this to you - how would you respond?

"You're not worth my effort."

Lambdal7 · 2018-05-13T05:25:52+00:00

Ignore all other responses.

Most guys here give off a fuckboi vibe. A few girls don't mind, but most do.

That's why a woman will make you work for it, because she doesn't just want to get pumped and dumped by you. Women aren't interested in the physical experience of sex as much, they want the mental and emotional experience, the build-up.

If you want to fuck her after 5 mins, she won't be interested. Dick is plenty, she could get that at any time of the day.

2018-05-13T08:23:48+00:00

I don't sell my self-respect to a girl honestly.

kylerosa21 · 2018-05-12T18:43:07+00:00

To begin, the woman is not the prize - the man is. If she expects you to work for her, she’s sadly misguided, and you should do the opposite of what she tells you, and see if she ends up pursuing you herself.

TalulaRouge · 2018-05-12T19:03:03+00:00

A woman with a lot to her character is going to be in a position to demand this behavior, sure, and that can be irritating and not very attractive because it seems like a lot of work for someone who's sub par. BUT --

*But if she's worth while, she won't have to.\* You'll chase her without a second thought, because that's how compelling, attractive, and valuable she is. Those are the kinds of relationships I engage in, and exclusively those. I don't have to ask anyone for anything. They give it, voluntarily. That's the power of seduction, and frankly, a smart woman who wants to seduce successfully would never let on that she is a prize. She wants you to arrive at that conclusion naturally. She wants you to genuinely feel that way about her, not because she *acted* like it.

If I were a guy facing a woman who said "Work for me", or acted like it, the response is pretty simple, and in the end, really doesn't have much to do with gender equality: keep movin'. Wait for the clever woman who will have you slaying dragons because she's a mouthwatering queen goddess with the fountain of youth between her legs.

acquired_ · 2018-05-12T19:30:51+00:00

This is one of the very few things women are taught from a young age when dealing with men

It's potent but it's only a frame. When I go for the kiss she says, "wait why do you think I should let you kiss me". Ink blot test

It can come out your mouth (I'm more used to girls working for me) but it's more deadly in your behavior. Women want to work for you, they just aren't taught how, like we are.

To me, working for anyone is insecure

Fun2badult · 2018-05-12T22:39:50+00:00

There’s only One prize here and it’s Me

mushi5838 · 2018-05-13T02:01:25+00:00

to play devil's advocate, there are many cultures where when the woman says no, the guy will assume "challenge accepted" mindset.... and i'm sure there are plenty of guys who do put more effort as an ego thing

FrasierandNiles · 2018-05-13T03:21:14+00:00

If she asks to work for you then you should ask if she is willing to stay at home and raise your babies and take care of the household.

cbh28 · 2018-05-13T11:13:29+00:00

"Hahaha there's plenty of women out there. Bye".

A woman that is worthy, and who is truly interested in you, won't say/act like that. No reason in trying with this girl, I don't care if it's a shit test or not, last thing I need is to be with a girl who thinks she's above me.

luaudesign · 2018-05-13T14:12:33+00:00

While you waste your time chasing her, she'll be fucking another guy she just met.

FadedTony · 2018-05-13T14:14:10+00:00

When I was like 19-20 and still new to “game” I went to this party and starting talking to this older girl, like 23. She seemed to respond well but for some reason I told myself I couldn’t get her because she was older.

So I talked to this 18 yo instead. Flash forward a couple hours and I made a move and she backed up from my kiss and put her arm around me and said “nuh uh, you gotta earn it”

So my dumbass was like ok, and kept giving her attention all night and left with nothing.

The next day I hear that 23yo ended up making out with my friend. Smh that could have been me but I made a bonehead move.

To this day “you gotta earn it” still bothers me and I immediately just move on when I hear that.

hunterpua · 2018-05-13T19:39:00+00:00

They actually say this very rarely but if a woman did then I'd get the fuck outa there.

If they act like they want me to work harder for them which is what they do more often then I'll just use social proof to get them to do what I want.

For example, if in a club and I'm trying to get a girl to dance, I won't sit there trying to convince her, I'll turn to her friends and convince them so that they'll be the ones to drag her to the dance floor.

If I'm asking a girl out on a date, I'd usually be messaging a bunch of girls at the same time and run into scheduling issues so if one of the girls I'm messaging plays hard to get then I'd just schedule a different date on the time and place I asked the first girl and say "Alright, I'll just take my friend then" to give her a chance to reconsider. If she doesn't I'll go on the date, take photos with the other girl and send the first girl those photos showing her how much fun we had. I said it was my friend just to make the first girl think she still has a shot with me but the reality is she's also one of the girls I'm seducing and she would definitely be hot so when the first girl sees that she's hot and acting all flirty with me that usually is enough to make it so she doesn't play hard to get the next time I ask her out.

Lord_Augastus · 2018-05-12T19:13:07+00:00

feminism by its name is a one sided argument. Humanism is equality for all. Fact that feminism used a lot of humanism to get equality means the militant feminists that try to get their cake and eat it too give the whole movement a bad name.

But moreover, women will be women. No matter how much we as humans want to think otherwise, we are still bound to evolutionary emotional history of our biology.

When a girl with attitude does that, I remember the old comment I heard: Why are you playing so hard to get, when you are already hard to like....

But if i was presented with this myself, I think i am too daft to realise they want me to fight harder. Life is too short to waste time fighting for someone who isnt being genuine. If she likes me, she should at the very min meet me 30-40pecernet there and let me know that she wants me, so i can "fight". Because in the end of the day, most of the women i meet i wouldnt marry, so should i fight for her like I should? This isnt the 50s, most of the time I am out there to have fun, if I have to work for it, so be it if she is worth it, if she isnt, and she hasnt made an effort to be either, then its kinda also her fault for not being fought over. Also, some of the women who do want men to fight for them, to me at least, have this aura of entitlement, I dont find that quality attractive, so I dont really go for that.

2018-05-13T11:15:20+00:00

I was having this discussion with a female friend of mine yesterday, who was saying she likes when a guy really tries essentially to "win" her over.

Only a virgin has the right to say that.

temerarious · 2018-05-13T02:20:02+00:00

Don’t be a hater.

Certain girls will act this way because they constantly have guys trying to get at them and they put up a wall to weed out anyone who doesn’t go over a certain threshold of effort. It’s basic market forces and there’s nothing wrong or illogical with them doing that.

If you understand this, you can put in the extra effort without putting her on a pedestal. Tease her about rejecting you, ignore it and ask again, or move on if she’s not worth it. The hottest girls will all have this wall up though, so if you get stuck in this mindset that putting in extra effort is somehow an affront to your ego, you’ll never get with them.

Title	When a Girl Says "Work for me"
Author	l1ght-
Upvotes	145
Comments	101
Date	May 12, 2018 4:12 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8ix0n4/when_a_girl_says_work_for_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-a-girl-says-work-for-me.1446460 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446460

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