How should I know when to take certain advice?

Anonymous-Man-2024 · 2025-07-01T07:17:41+00:00

Different approaches work for different people. It also depends on who you want to attract. I personally like elegant feminine women so I act a certain way. I'm also tall so I act a certain way.

There is no one fits all approach just be you and the best version of you.

Newtabs9 · 2025-07-01T07:39:12+00:00

i had the same confusion many years ago when I first got into game and when different experts all acted very different from each other in infields, and all the books gave very conflicting advice. Compare and infield of mystery vs an infield of RSDJeffy for example!! 100% opposite in terms of behaviour and verbals and technique!! Yet both dating coaches/experts

I think it's because there are no rules. No way to act. No 'correct' things to say and techniques etc

What matters is if she is attracted to you - you are kinda her type

From that point you can behave how you want and do waht ever you want in terms of 'game'.

And if you're really not her type, nothing works

Infields show all of this quite nicely

Jironasaurus · 2025-07-01T11:00:19+00:00

The best way to learn is to experiment with whatever theory you've read. That's how you know for sure what works and what doesn't.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-07-01T08:21:58+00:00

Fundamentally, how are you going to get and keep attention? That's what 'attraction' is.

There's what works in a very niche context. You just have to be 'enough' for a particular situation, you have to be 'more attractive' than the other options at the time. You can be boring, but sill less boring than the other options; it's all relative to what those other hypothetical options are.

In a club, being 'stoic' will get you nowhere; it's too low energy, you just get dismissed; she'd rather dance with her friends. You have to be stimulating enough to draw attention in the situation, which should be obvious if you go out; you really shouldn't be unaware of how 'attractive' you're being in comparison to what else is going on. You either get the attention or you're overlooked.

Most guys couldn't possibly compete with the attention of loud music, their friends, other guys, etc. and if you're not even vaguely making a dent, you're not 'in the game'.

So, is 'being mature' stimulating? Frankly, no. You don't get attention through what you're NOT doing; there's a massive focus on NOT being weird or awkward but you don't get shit through just standing there either. It's a given you have to talk, be amusing, 'attract attention' but you don't end up there through focusing on what NOT to do.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-01T09:15:22+00:00

You err when you that you are not enough. You err when you think you have to be something that you are not in order to gain affection. You err because you deny and disrespect who you are which then lowers your self-esteem.

Instead of lying to yourself that you must be something else to gain affection, find out what your brand is. In other words, you can attract women by being a nerd or whatever the media says that is less than ideal or cool.

The point is that authenticty, confidence and knowing who you is attractive while having self-doubt and having no direction is not.

Fun-Description-1698 · 2025-07-01T09:54:14+00:00

The truth is that there will never be a single method that works for all men on all women and in all situations. You need to take a scientific approach to seduction. Find the advices that resonates with you, put them in practice in your life, observe the results and deduce how well it worked for you. Then repeat the process. Figure out what worked for you and why, what didn't work for you and why, and update your strategy. Rince and repeat until you get whatever results you are seeking.

Different advices work for different people and lifestyle.

However they are general advices that do exist and should improve your game, broadly speaking. But once you get in the specific details, everything and anything can work. Like you said, it depends on the context and the people involve in it.

For a good summary of the general advices that should always improve your attractiveness, I would recommend watching hoe_maths's video self-maximize 5 (even his old self-maximize videos are good too). His chart on how attraction in women work is excellent to understand what generally works and what doesn't. I personally tend to disregard any advices that significantly deviates from his ideas, especially if these advices don't provide a framework as solid and consistent as his framework.

Once you've mastered these advices in a way that fits your lifestyle (very important point here), then you can focus on finding solutions to your problems that are tailored to your situation and where general advices don't apply.

Stock_Touch_5204 · 2025-07-01T09:55:57+00:00

First off, you should never feel like you have to force anything. That said, if something like anxiety is holding you back, then you're not truly "being yourself" (I hate that phrase too, but it fits here). And while it's tempting to slap a label on things and avoid discomfort, that approach won't do you any favours in the long run.

Regarding stoicism, it doesn’t mean being silent or emotionally dead. At its core, stoicism is about accepting things as they are. When something bad happens, instead of getting thrown off emotionally, you acknowledge it, accept it as part of life, and keep moving forward.

Stoicism isn’t about suppressing your personality. It’s about developing resilience as life is going to keep punching you in the face, like it or not.

As for social dynamics, being good at conversation is just a skill. The more you engage, the better you get at reading the room and calibrating your energy or humour. There’s a difference between being mature, immature, and just plain inappropriate. If you’re at a funeral, cracking jokes is probably not what to do. But if everyone’s joking around and having a good time, being the quiet, brooding guy won’t get you far either.

IMO, it's less about finding an identity to adopt and more about learning how to respond appropriately to the moment. If something like anxiety is the blocker, be honest with yourself about that, don’t let it become part of your identity or an excuse to stop growing. And yeah, its easy to make excuses to avoid taking action.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-07-01T15:29:56+00:00

I have a unique perspective on this. I think that every coach caters to people on their level of development. How you should take advice is to find a teacher that resonateswith you the most and try to rely on that one person to guide most of your decision making. I call that person the anchor.

You then use the anchor to rate other peoples advice againts the anchor.

When doing so, you should try to distinguish is the principles vs content of a teacher. All mentors teach from the same core principles, for example, non-needness. But they might express this principle in a different manner:

being stoic and non reactive (non discriminatory in attention)
being loud, extroverted, attention grabbing (non discriminatory in attention)

Regarding your "style" question, think of coaches like the Big Five Personality Types. Extroverted coaches will teach extroverted students. Introverted coaches will teach introverted students, and their methods are uniquely suited to their psychological profile.

So:

Find a teacher with a similar personality
Find a teacher who have the same values

This ensures whatever taught will be suited towards your needs. There is an ulimited paths to reaching the goal, remember always that you are carving your own.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-07-01T21:33:17+00:00

Just do whatever works for you bro. If being stoic and mysterious gets you women, keep doing it. If being funny and light-hearted is working as it has for me personally, keep doing that.

I wouldn't exactly fully buy the notion to "just be yourself", since if being yourself is not working you actually need to try something else. Like if you try really hard to be funny but haven't gotten laid in years, clearly your sense of humor is just not hitting so you need to come up with a different approach.

Opposite0_0Banana · 2025-07-04T11:34:16+00:00

there isn’t an answer to this, you have to try out stuff until you find what suits you best and makes you, you

epimpstyle · 2025-07-01T07:20:24+00:00

When you meet your friends, do you prefer it when everyone is serious, or when everyone wants to tell all kinds of funny or interesting stories to create a dynamic and playful atmosphere? Talking with a lady is the same.

There always needs to be a balance, or a mixture of everything, because being too funny will turn you into a clown, being too optimistic will turn you into a delusional person, being too friendly with someone is suspicious and uncomfortable, being too social will make people believe you are tipsy/high...

Ashamed-Necessary-25 · 2025-07-01T10:53:44+00:00

Don't ask for advice for how to behave, be yourself?

You can interpret useful advice the older you get

But for how to behave, unless it pertains to expected etiquette like formal dining etc just be you man

Title	How should I know when to take certain advice?
Author	decal1210
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	July 1, 2025 5:02 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lot742/how_should_i_know_when_to_take_certain_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-should-i-know-when-to-take-certain-advice.1556055 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556055

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