How to become a better conversationalist?

BlucifersBlueBalls · 2015-11-12T02:32:34+00:00

Learn to Bullshit. I wouldn't call myself a Grade A conversationalist, but that helped me a lot. Out of things to say? Bring some random shit up. "So WTF is up with the starbucks red cup thing?", "You know if I was an animal I think I'd want to be a dolphin. They're bad ass." That last ones kinda stupid, but you'd be surprised just how many people are okay with random tangents of nonsense in conversations. That's practically Reddit in a nutshell.

bakky94 · 2015-11-12T06:28:51+00:00

As a start I love asking questions about them. Everyone craves to be heard, but many of us are caught up in trying to express ourselves and our problems that we forget to listen. Be interested!

Every reply will have a new idea/follow up you can expound on so keep the flow going and insert tidbits about yourself here and there. It's still a crutch though, but eventually you'll know each other more, and conversation will flow like a river once the ice is broken :) all the best OP!

Random crazy conversations are really fun and engaging to me, but may not be suited for naturally introverted girls until they open up? All depends on who you're chasing

ImJustSo · 2015-11-12T09:44:47+00:00

Try being amused. Concentrate on what you want out of a conversation, not what the other person is getting out of it. If you want to laugh during a conversation, then talk about something you find amusing. If you want to have sex with a girl, then talk about sex offhandedly. If you want something specifically, then talk about that, whether it's a cup of coffee, or a burger, or a fun time. Be selfish. Not that you don't give a shit about anyone else, but just try giving a shit about yourself. Your words are a tool and you are a controller, so take some control.

When you start talking about bullshit, you'll find that other people love to join in. I once had a conversation in an elevator about which floor in any building is typically the best floor. My conversation partner was an 80 year old man. We had the other 6 people in the elevator laughing their asses off because here we are philosophically debating the finer points of the ground floor and the top floor and everything in between.

ProfShea · 2015-11-12T05:55:20+00:00

Find a toastmasters club. Or start one.

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-11-12T07:27:26+00:00

RSD's tyler has some good ideas that could help you

forevrfail · 2015-11-12T08:39:32+00:00

Practice. Talk to anyone. Speak slowly and don't be afraid to say something stupid. If you do. Laugh it off.

avngr · 2015-11-12T11:55:07+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

Kennyiskickass · 2015-11-12T17:39:18+00:00

Learn to not give a fuck about other peoples impressions of you. Personally, I have found that my best conversations with other people were times when I was indifferent about their opinion of me.
Say what comes to mind, and don't feel shame for it. Own what you say, even if others aren't receptive. Just keep in mind, it's not about what you say but how you say it. It doesn't matter if what you said was dumb, it does matter if you make yourself feel bad for saying it.

Stephenishere · 2015-11-12T12:44:53+00:00

So I don't think I've ever posted to this sub reddit, but here is what I've been doing and I think I've gotten a lot better with talking to girls. I joined match and have been talking with a number of random girls. Girls that I don't necessarily care if I botch the conversation completely, I call them my training wheels into the dating world lol.. I obviously text a bunch with these 3-4 girls, but I also ask if they'd like to FaceTime at nigh or call while I drive home. My drive home is 20mins and we talk about anything. I have a way out of the convo at 20 mins so they don't drag on too long, but it's been good practice and I feel I've gotten a lot better at talking to random women in public or a girl I've taken out on a date. It'll give you confidence to talk when you've done it a bunch over the phone and start to get comfortable with women's small talk. I dunno, hope that helps. It helped me at least.

angryausie · 2015-11-12T12:00:39+00:00

In the short-run, just to keep the conversation going, ask question, talk about random shit.

In the long-run however to continue to be awesome and to keep improving, I can't recommend reading enough.

I used to stutter, not be able to remember a word and struggle to make any sense until I started reading books from cover to cover.

It improves your vocabulary and language skills.

hdtproject · 2015-11-12T15:03:53+00:00

Practice talking to other people and listening have been popular words of advice and I completely agree with them. If you're of age, and have free time, go sign up for uber. It'd be a great opportunity to force yourself to practice talking with strangers and listening all while making some extra $$. I've heard you meet a lot of interesting people

Andrian-TQM · 2015-11-12T16:29:13+00:00

I have a great system for that. I like to call it the “WWBLI” system and it is founded upon the following four pillars:

􏰀* Whatever you have to say has value purely because it comes from you.

􏰀􏰀* Whatever you have to say is interesting purely because others want to know what you find interesting.

􏰀􏰀* Be in the moment; don’t think ahead.

􏰀􏰀* Lower your standards of what’s good enough to say.

􏰀􏰀* It’s not what you say, it is the energy behind how you say it.

letsallgotopoundtown · 2015-11-12T19:37:33+00:00

All you have to do is listen and be genuinely interested in what they have to say, "Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours." Stimulate conversation by listening. People just want to feel important!

Avicenna1 · 2015-11-12T04:59:51+00:00

Bro a few days ago just as practice to confidence, i started doing cold approaches to use the most ridiculous conversations. The crazy thing was the more nonsensical my topic of conversation, the more girls were open and smiley. When we converse i kept talking about crazier and crazier shit. At one point i was talking about how i wanted to get married at an elementary school in mexico, and the girl was sending crazy IOIs and vibing 100%. ^this was in response to her asking me what my major was. girls are so retarded when it comes to conversation, the fact that u r there speaking is enough to make them happy, they dont care what u say

Big_TX · 2015-11-12T04:56:10+00:00

Do a search. Read the results. Then PRATICE

Then go wtch RSDtod's videos. Then practice! Then RSDJulan's RHEN PRATICE!

go watch RSDTyler's videos on it. He has like one on his Chanel and then one on some other guys Chanel.

Then practice!

They all say different things. They are not necessarily rules. But they are things you can do to facitate conversations.

Figure out what works for you.

The biggest thing is to pratice feequently. Of you go out and socialize day to day you will get better. There is a concept called Social Momentum. So more you socialize the better you are but if you lose the momentum you regress. You have to do this for a wile to actually build and I grain the skill.

The studdering could be from being groggy. So figure out what causes that and don't do that. Don't sleep too late. Exercise helps clear your head. Draining yourself away watching TV or video games or porn or procrastinating for way too much time is a big culprit.

It could also be confidence.

Lastly if you do stuff with your life you will have more to tock about.

Browup396 · 2015-11-12T16:55:33+00:00

r/becometalkative

sillymallard · 2015-11-12T20:08:58+00:00

"How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes

WhiskeySoldier · 2015-11-15T21:09:59+00:00

I'm suprised this has not been mentioned yet, quite commonly mentioned on here but its actually a really good line.

"It's not what you say, it's how you say it."

sadguy88 · 2015-11-12T02:28:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nolandavid · 2015-11-12T12:57:03+00:00

Talk to people about shit that interest you. For me that's longboarding, traveling, books, history, baseball, etc. Most people aren't good conversationalist, one of the bullshit things I absolutely hate is small talk. "Hey, how's it going?" "Not much, can't complain." People sound really lifeless when they talk like that.

Title	How to become a better conversationalist?
Author	sadguy88
Upvotes	101
Comments	39
Date	November 12, 2015 2:25 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3shk37/how_to_become_a_better_conversationalist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-become-a-better-conversationalist.1397478 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397478

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