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[–]Colossal_Caribou 32 points33 points34 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Nick Sparks' How o hold conversation like a man speech is great.
It has a lot to do with the first conversation and how to hit it off, but key points can be used in any conversation.
[–]Gwarek2 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nice speech indeed :) thanks for sharing
[–]KILLERB00TSMAN 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
TLDR: "Its more important to be interested than interesting"
[–]Smeurtje 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But dont leech value, tell stories yourself aswell
[–]TalkToPlants54 points 12 years ago [recovered] (26 children) | Copy Link
Try to be less factual, and more feeling based in conversation. Don't just answer and/or ask questions with direct answers. Your questions/answers should be colourful, but not necessarily detailed.
Something that works for me is making constant assumptions; which I leave her to correct should I be wrong.
[–]Sour_J 21 points22 points23 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Examples for the slow ones?
[–]AndySoDandy 18 points19 points20 points 12 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
This struck a chord with me. As guys, we share statistics about sports or one up each other on politics. What I've noticed with women is they're more emotional based. Talking in terms of how they felt on a topic and why they feel that way generates far more interest. I've seen more enthusiasm in girls when I speak or share my stories with this adjustment.
[–]bigoldfeet 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Someone has read models
[–]AndySoDandy 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spot on buddy.
[–]TalkToPlants3 points 12 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Never really thought about it like that, but yeah, I guess that would be the logic behind it.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Logic is the problem, man! This feels right.
[–]Hashisme 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The feels man.
[–]Mo_Lester69 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
that feel when you can't feel anymore
[–]happyfocker 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. Too much pumping, time to finish.
[–]incraved 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn straight
Yup. Whatever gets those panties off.
[–]DemandxSupply 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I too make assumptions, which can go very right or very wrong, so be careful. You can also make her prove herself to you by making assumptions. For example, say "you're the good girl, right?" I like to approach with a blank mind and think of something on the spot. If I can't think if anything, then I'll tell her exactly that and she'll usually laugh. It's an easy and fun way to approach because it's all about honesty.
[–]annanow 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Ew. I guess if it works for you, but personally I would be incredibly put off if a guy I was into referred to me a a "good girl"
[–]lorddeathhh4 points 12 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Why? Are you naughty?
[–]annanow 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
No, I'm a grown woman who doesn't appreciate being categorized in such demeaning and belittling ways.
[–]lorddeathhh6 points 12 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
What if a guy called you a "good woman" instead?
[–]annanow 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The problem is the "good", not the woman/girl. It comes off as douchey to say something like that, rather than confident. You dont know me. Talking like that sounds like something someone would say in 1954. I personally like men a tad more progressive than that.
[–]lorddeathhh2 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
What if a guy called you "smart" after only talking to you for 5 minutes? Would you be marginally livid that he doesn't know you enough to compliment you on your ostensible intelligence?
[–]annanow 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The word 'smart' doesn't carry the same slightly offensive weight as 'good', but yes. I've been reading a book in public and had people talk about how smart I am, or they'll remark how intelligent I must be if I tell them what I'm studying in school. I don't really like it. People making declarations about assumptions they've made about me instead of asking (or even implying) is annoying.
Particularly when it feels like they're giving me their approval. You're a stranger and a stranger most likely talking to me for somewhat sexually based reasons. I don't really care whether or not you approve of me. I don't know you. You don't know me. It just comes off as arrogance to me (OF COURSE I would care what your opinion of me is. Despite being a complete stranger, I know that your opinion must not only be a very good one but one I really want to like me. Blugh)
[–]_Lappel_du_vide_ 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Y
[–]DemandxSupply 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is why it's dangerous lol. What assumption would turn you on?
[–]annanow 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pretty much any assumption that doesn't turn out to be true is going to be off putting. It's a much better bet if you just don't spew assumption you've made about me to my face.
[–]Spacebound313 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In other words, open ended questions.
[–]I_am_a_white_guy_AMA 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've heard women connect with details and emotions in conversation, but I'd love to hear some examples if anyone has any.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fucking cold reading bro. She tells you something about herself, you say "wow, that means you're free-thinking and you value you own thoughts on things over others." Good cold readers have hundereds of vague character readings that apply to almost everyone. Read a horoscope for some basic ideas.
Exchange stories about emotion. Comment on how other people were feeling in her stories. Never give here advice or intellectual analysis. Remember, women don't want you to solve their problems. They want you to understand their feels and make them laugh.
[–]hamfraigaar 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cold reading is an amazing tool, and it's surprisingly easy. I often catch myself doing it without thinking (which should be the goal for anything you do in pick up). Actually it's a lot like a compliment, but goes a little beyond being that. Most people are not used to it at all, and will feel flattered in the very least.
[–]Colossal_Caribou 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A lot of deeper connections are established around how you feel about things. Ask her why she's been up to whatever she's been doing. Why is she feeling great? Talk about hopes/dreams.
Something you need to be careful of: guys report-talk — lots of facts. Girls rapport-talk, about their feelings. It might feel a little weird at first to be talking about your feelings, but that's how you establish rapport with a girl.
[+][deleted] -9 points-8 points-7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Came here to say this.
[–]Tarmoney 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ask about her day and after that give her your views and comments about it.
I think asking about her day can learn a lot from her since you will be able to know what does she do and stuff.
[–]MrGMinor 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So simple, no skill involved at all with this method. Be prepared to hear every little detail and respond with short but witty answers that also ask for more info. Be funny but sincere. Keep her talking cause she loves to.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Tease her about really minor shit too. She had cheerrios for breakfast? "Who the fuck eats cheerios for breakfast? I eat 13 eggs and and a whole chicken every morning!"
If you have a decent sense of humor you can make anything about her life hilarious.
Once she's laughing, it's a lot easier to connect on a deeper level later. But keep it light at first.
[–]SovietSteve 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah one-upping people really endears them to you. Especially in the first conversation.
[–]Kaze_Senshi 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]inspireddev 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Role play. Tease. Exaggerate. If you aren't laughing or at least smiling when you're talking to a girl, you're doing it wrong.
[–]jzell3 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just say whats on your mind. You can literally say that you dont know what to say. Being authentic is what is most important
[–]Diece 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm glad you asked this questions, it's been something that has been a problem with me for the longest time. Now I am not the greatest convertsationalist in all of man kind but I belive I can do pretty well.
First of all a lot of people say to others that want to learn good conversational skills and I won't say I disagree but to me conversation is more then just facts it's more sharing feelings and emotions. A recent example that sticks out in my head is when I went to go get my hair cut yesterday, the hair stylist was this new super hot italian girl wayy out of my league (I don't belive in leagues but this puts it into persepctive)
I started talking, the basica shit. How long have you worked here, go to school just the generic shit. This little bit was factual but while talking about the basic stuff we connected on something. I am moving to Montreal, she wanted to know all about why I was moving. I started telling her slowly revaling who I am, then she revealed her self as well. Now though we were strictly sharing emotions, when she revealed she only needs a few core friends and then later in the conversation she told me how she loves cats and speaks their language. I said "ahh now I see why you don't need a lot of friends, you have cats. You must be crazy" then she bantered back at me. Converstion is more about emotions and connecting through them then strictly revealing facts and asking questions. At least thats how I do it.
[–]brodocross 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Did you get hot italian hair stylists number???
[–]teniaava 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Always
Be
Closing
[–]Diece 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A always
B be
C closing
Always be closing.
If you can't close, you can't close shit. YOU ARE SHIT, hit the bricks pal and beat it.
[–]Diece 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately not, I'm moving in less then a week to a new province.
[–]yuyo874 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
open ended questions rather than simple yes or no questions.
[–]trustmeiminnocent 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Everyone loves to talk about themselves, make that the topic of the conversation and bounce off that. Works for me.
[–]okayawesome91 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Search for conversation threading ;)
The Simple Art of Conversation
[+]Heyoka7 -10 points-9 points-8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women are typically suckered by astrology, so I make strong, but open ended statements about their personality and they think I'm magic. Especially after a drink or so. After that whatever I tell them they want, they tend to agree with it. I start simple with obvious things and once they get saying "yes" I curve it off into other areas...like sucking me off in the bathroom. Basically I use jedi mind tricks on weak minded women.
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[–]Colossal_Caribou 32 points33 points34 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gwarek2 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]KILLERB00TSMAN 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Smeurtje 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TalkToPlants54 points [recovered] (26 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sour_J 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AndySoDandy 18 points19 points20 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigoldfeet 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AndySoDandy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TalkToPlants3 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hashisme 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mo_Lester69 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]happyfocker 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]incraved 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]happyfocker 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DemandxSupply 2 points3 points4 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]annanow 5 points6 points7 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]lorddeathhh4 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]annanow 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]lorddeathhh6 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]annanow 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]lorddeathhh2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]annanow 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_Lappel_du_vide_ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DemandxSupply 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]annanow 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spacebound313 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]I_am_a_white_guy_AMA 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hamfraigaar 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Colossal_Caribou 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] -9 points-8 points-7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tarmoney 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrGMinor 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SovietSteve 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kaze_Senshi 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]inspireddev 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jzell3 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Diece 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]brodocross 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]teniaava 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Diece 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Diece 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yuyo874 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]trustmeiminnocent 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]okayawesome91 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]okayawesome91 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Heyoka7 -10 points-9 points-8 points (0 children) | Copy Link