How to include yourself in the conversation?

flipwich · 2012-05-23T01:21:29+00:00

Don't make it about you. It's about them. Laugh at their comments. Even if they are not quite including you, seem interested in listening to their conversation in a non-creepy way. They will soon open the doors to you and include you themselves. just remember: it's not about you!

Edit: stoopid iPhone

Xervicx · 2012-05-23T00:57:31+00:00

Make the conversation relevant to yourself. Every conversation can be relevant if you try hard enough to make it so. Let's say they are talking about their favorite artists. Chime in and say you've heard the artist before, and then comment on a specific song or a specific element of their music. It works for artists, movies, actors, shows, restaurants, stores, clothing, and so, so soooo much more.

If the conversation isn't that relevant to you, it is relevant to you. You just have to find a way. For example, let's say you know nothing about motorcycles, but one of the people in the group starts talking about their motorcycle. You chime in and mention how you see a lot of bikers on the road and that you've always wondered how it feels to be on one. This will prompt them to talk about their experience, and will show you want to not just talk to them, but hear them speak as well.

Conversations fluctuate, even in tightly knit groups of friends. So keep trying, don't give up in frustration. If you seem to be connecting with one person, keep going at that. The conversational connection can then be extended to another person in the group. Sometimes people just will only be interested in talking among themselves, that is unavoidable at times. The only thing you can do is try without seeming like you're trying to hard, while also showing interest in mutual conversation at the same time.

remarkedvial · 2012-05-22T23:26:59+00:00

The situation might dictate the approach, are you at a bar, a house party, other?

Also, simple inner-game theory always applies, what value can you bring to the group, why should they include you?

More practically, do you know some girls that you can invite over, know the bartender/bouncer/DJ/owner, or a good after-party?

I might target one or two of them, maybe when they hit the bar, make some funny observations, some jokes, say something ridiculous, just get them laughing, then ask them to introduce you, and be ready to add value to the group immediately.

JihadDerp · 2012-05-23T00:24:49+00:00

Be funny

Bring value to the group (e.g. know other fun/interesting people you can introduce them to; be funny; be interesting; don't be boring).

Ask open ended questions (i.e. any question that starts with "why" or any command that asks for more information, like "tell me more about X").

Take interest in the things people are talking about (e.g. "Oh really? How did that come about?" or "That's interesting, and then what happened?" etc.)

VMikeL · 2012-05-22T22:58:27+00:00

I get the feeling that you're not becoming acquainted with the entire group, and if you are, perhaps you're not acquainted well. If you do, the next thing you need to do is buy their interest, so if some one was to take their attention away, as soon as they're done, they'll come straight back to you. This can be achieved through really good rapport and qualification - and lots of it. Also it's actually quite easy to become part of the group, a good excuse/reason "My friends have totally abandoned me, you guys are way cooler, I'm hanging with you guys", or "I can see the party is right here, what makes you guys so much damn fun?". If you open the group, and talk to them all, ask them all questions etc, you have a way higher chance of not being excluded.

mr___clean · 2012-05-23T01:42:31+00:00

Simply introducing yourself and asking the group what they were talking about can get you in.

After you've introduced yourself, threading could be use to guide the conversation towards a topic you're more familiar with. Threads are subtopics in a conversation you can talk about. A good visual for threading is looking at a tree and seeing how every branch has another one growing out of it.

Using these “branches” you can guide the initial conversation to a topic you're more familiar with. If you work as a chef and someone says they had food at XYZ restaurant you could then talk about food and add value to the situation that way.

fragglemook · 2012-05-23T13:34:39+00:00

BUTT into their conversation and say something:- funnier, more interesting, more valuable, useful...etc.

I mean, this is not really a seduction matter, unless you're trying to seduce a whole group of people at once. Trying to seduce a whole group of people at once takes rockstar talent.

If you're trying to seduce women, which is what this subreddit (at least it used to be) is about, not self-help, then start talking to them in isolation. Start having them as your friends and getting them to introduce you to their girlfriends, who you can make friends with and who will in turn introduce you to some girls you might like to lay.

TL;DR: you probably give a fuck about what a random group of people think about you and your convo. Don't.

meecham123 · 2012-05-22T22:36:32+00:00

In these cases I usually eject out so i'm not left standing there looking like a chump. Usually if you ask open ended questions to people in a group, I can keep the conversation going though.

SenorSpicyBeans · 2012-05-22T23:10:11+00:00

Lead the conversation

Title	How to include yourself in the conversation?
Author	kaxtar
Upvotes	57
Comments	25
Date	May 22, 2012 9:44 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tzxgc/how_to_include_yourself_in_the_conversation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-include-yourself-in-the-conversation.1332999 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332999

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