How to stop hating myself and develop some self confidence?

hunterpua · 2021-04-28T07:04:59+00:00

You don't need to wait for a feeling to go do something, you can just go ahead and do stuff and let the feelings follow.

The most successful people in the world don't rely on emotions to drive them forward, they put systems in place that make them move regardless of how they're feeling.

Successful businessmen schedule basically everything with everyone involved so that their mentors and the people they do business with show up and they're forced to work regardless of how they feel.

Pro athletes have certain restrictions on what kinds of foods are even allowed inside their house so that they don't need to rely on discipline to stop them from eating that blueberry cheescake in the fridge because it was never in there in the first place.

That's how you develop yourself even if its emotionally hard. Just jump into something that requires your commitment and has other people involved to get yourself doing things.

For example, you could hire a personal trainer that costs a significant amount of money to keep you progressing in the gym. Because he's pricey, you won't just no-show him whenever you aren't feeling it unless you like losing tons of money with nothing to show for it.

Self-development does improve your confidence but not because you can be like, "Look at me, I'm this great guy who achieved all these great things." but because your mind actually sees you behaving the way someone who believes in themselves and loves themselves behaves.

If you do things that a confident person would do even if you don't feel confident yet, you will become confident because your mind will be unable to refute all the legitimate experiences you've had where you did things that a confident person does.

But just talking to yourself and visualizing is very easy to refute because your mind knows that you're only imagining these things, they never actually happened.

93% of communication is non-verbal and that also applies when you're communicating with yourself.

When you're just sitting there, visualizing and telling yourself things you're trying to believe, you're only using 7% of the communication you have available to you, the other 93% comes with action.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

If you find this advice helpful and want to be part of a Facebook group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message letting me know you want to join.

If you are serious about improving your dating life then I'll be happy to welcome you in.

thiccy-san · 2021-04-28T13:16:56+00:00

Always remember, "what you believe is your reality". Like rich dad poor dad, if you say "there's no way I can afford that" you'll stay broke. Instead ask "how can afford that" to materialize the money you want to make. Same with confidence in yourself of how you see yourself. A hack I did was constantly tell myself that i loved myself and that I am worthy of being loved if love myself first. Add that with meditation everyday and i tell you that i literally feel like nobody can touch me because I believe it so hard. Telling myself constantly everyday that I'm indestructible asf makes me really feel that. Try that. Manifest your thoughts and really believe in them. Don't half ass it

headcase1111 · 2021-04-28T06:57:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DallasFullPint · 2021-04-29T02:22:21+00:00

It is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting.

thementalyogi · 2021-04-28T12:53:23+00:00

Meditation. Sit with the feeling of hating yourself. Just sit with it. Feel the self hate, gaze into that self hate so deeply and singularly. But not do anything about it. Just look. Don't expect, just observe.

The path to understanding anything is to simple sit with it. To understand is to overcome.

Genomixx · 2021-04-28T12:18:24+00:00

Visualization is one tactic that can help, but to really address this challenge you need to go deeper. If you hate yourself and have a lack of confidence, this is a psychological issue likely arising from cognitive distortions (certain patterns of thinking that skew one's perception) that convince you that you are not as awesome as you actually are -- and I can assure you that you are significantly more amazing than what your distorted thinking has led you to believe. Self-esteem and positive self-regard are core traits among psychologically healthy people.

As a first step, I'd recommend reading a book like Feeling Good by David Burns. It is a very practical manual to identifying patterns of thinking that give you an inaccurate, distorted view of your self that make you feel bad and pick away at your confidence. Many straightforward exercises are provided to reverse these harmful habits of thought and build up your self-approval and sense of self-worth on a fundamental level. All you need is a pen and paper, and a little motivation.

Of course, if it's an option for you, a skilled psychotherapist who you connect with can be tremendously helpful, as well.

Cesare_MA · 2021-04-28T12:26:28+00:00

Go out into the world and find people you admire. Be like them. Not a bad start, right?

Andrei_Boeangiu · 2021-04-28T14:43:33+00:00

You can stop hating yourself by not giving your attention to negative thoughts. You need to take control of your mind. Otherwise is hard. It is very good that you started playing with visualization. Keep doing it. Be sure to have a juicy vision you are envisioning. see it and most important feel it as often as you can. Many negative thoughts will start to arise when you do that. Ignore them and focus only on your vision. This will motivate you and will give you energy to move towards it.

But just having a vision and seeing it is not enough. You also need to take action. Make a plan and start implementing it. You don‘t need to know every step if the way. It‘s enough to know the first step. After you make the first step the next one will show itself to you. Some of the things you might need to do will most likely take you out of your comfort zone. Pay attention here to not do things that scare you too much. Find a balance. Let‘s say a 5 or 6 on a scale 1-10 (10 being the scariest)

intensely_human · 2021-04-28T15:51:09+00:00

Keep visualizing without believing it. Use some verbal mantras too. You don’t have to believe them just say them.

Also get a therapist and figure out why you hate yourself and fix it.

Sue__Me__Then · 2021-04-28T16:14:52+00:00

What have you been using for your visualizations? How well can you maintain them in the field?

greatlifeahead · 2021-04-28T16:24:44+00:00

Do things that make you respect and like yourself.

farfromahead · 2021-04-28T19:20:19+00:00

stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and say “IDGAF” and move on with your stuff. If somebody talks behind your back, IDGAF. A dog barking at me, IDGAF. Somebody demeaning me in a group talk, IDGAF. Say that loudly everytime you are about to make a move or do somthing. Ofcourse we overthink but doing this really gets me through to the end cause really nobody GAF

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-04-28T20:44:56+00:00

Once you start to make progress in your goals you will feel better. Trust me.

T7882 · 2021-04-29T10:19:56+00:00

I overcame this by simply working on improving myself and trying new things. If I get up everyday and try my hardest to improve myself and my situation there is nothing more I can do frankly. I feel like lack of SC is if you know deep down you need to improve but maybe don't know how. Maybe exercise learn a new skill hobby etc. Always be growing and being the best you can be. If you are doing all you can do why can't you walk up to that girl and talk to her. Most likely she knows you like her anyways. 80% of people are slackers and stuck in the same place most their lives. If you are doing your best you already have left alot of your competition in the dust.

facelessInternetMan · 2021-04-29T19:31:04+00:00

Do some pushups every day

silvermouse34 · 2021-04-30T14:14:06+00:00

>How to stop hating myself and develop some self confidence?

very simple. pick an aspect of yourself/your life you're unhappy with, and that is changeable, then work to improve it 24/7 for 5-10 years.

you will inevitably make progress towards this goal after thousands of hours working on it. this progress will make you happy, and give you the confidence to achieve anything in life, because you've literally already achieved something. there is concrete proof that you can, because you already have.

this new confidence and self love should also allow you to accept the negative aspects of your life that cannot be changed.

one important this is that the aspect of your life you decide to work on for 24/7 for 5-10 years must be something you obsess with. it can't be something you "kind of want", it has to be something you obsess with. Something that haunts you, that you think about every single day without trying.

if your current mindset is so messed up that what I just said seems impossible or discouraging, just read a dozen of the most popular self help books and start meditating. then come back to it, and you'll understand.

If that's not enough, travel, try random experiences, just do any random activity for a few months, try hundreds of things if you have to, and you'll stumble upon it, the thing you obsess with and that is worth dedicating 5-10 years of your life to.

If you haven't lived, if you haven't seen the world, if you haven't tried enough random things, you might not yet know what you obsess about. you might think you obsess about nothing. but that's not true, you just don't obsess about anything YET.

2021-05-03T23:52:20+00:00

“Manifestation” is a meme and a path down to wickedness

Title	How to stop hating myself and develop some self confidence?
Author	headcase1111
Upvotes	29
Comments	21
Date	April 28, 2021 5:59 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/n087t7/how_to_stop_hating_myself_and_develop_some_self/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-hating-myself-and-develop-some-self.1285407 https://theredarchive.com/post/1285407

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