How to tell the difference between someone flaking out and genuinely busy?

testmypatience · 2012-05-18T02:54:33+00:00

"Hey, are you cancelling because you're not interested?"

Do not do this.

You sometimes cannot tell if someone is busy or not. However I will tell you that most people are incredibly flakey. You can most of the time tell by their general behaviour.

mrlogjam · 2012-05-17T23:38:43+00:00

Work on selling yourself better and building more attraction.

Let's say you are Chris Hemsworth, aka motherfucking Thor. You ask one of these chicks out. Is she going to "have other plans". No, you're Thor.

She will drive 300 miles, climb a barbed wire fence and kill a pack of wolves to go out with you.

eyesoutofsockets · 2012-05-18T16:04:17+00:00

I know this is Seddit and I'm going to get downvoted, but... Someone who is genuinely busy will likely mention specific plans or reasons why they are busy (project a work, friend's birthday, etc.). I'm often "busy" and I like my time alone, but I will make time for someone I'm interested in.
Rather than asking "are you cancelling because you're not interested?" I might say, "Since you're so busy, if you'd still like to do _____, why don't you pick the day/time?" When I'm on what I know is a good date, I will literally say, "I planned things this time, if you want to hang out again it's your turn to make the plans." It only works when you do it with a big cocky grin on your face.

fragglemook · 2012-05-18T11:34:35+00:00

Stop going on "dates" and start "hanging out". It's a simple change in perspective. It should always be no big deal if someone cancels on you, because you have several other people to call......unless you're socially inept...which of course, you aren't, because you've been meeting people and making friends(/with benefits).

tris4992 · 2012-05-18T14:24:25+00:00

Everybody has been giving theory that while correct doesn't really answer your question.

How to tell the difference ? If the girl is genuinely interested but isn't available on the date you proposed she will offer an other date or ask if some other time would be good for you.

If she's just trying to get you of her back she won't take the initiative to settle another date.

Hungryone · 2012-05-20T03:26:06+00:00

I think more importantly you should not care. I think to be held up over small things you can never actually find out is a waste of your energy. It makes you feel insecure if you focus too much on it. Just make other plans always and dont' get hung up on stuff like this.

Tall_Is_All_You_Need · 2012-05-17T22:05:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to tell the difference between someone flaking out and genuinely busy?
Author	thegiggler
Upvotes	9
Comments	14
Date	May 17, 2012 8:55 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ts82n/how_to_tell_the_difference_between_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-tell-the-difference-between-someone-flaking.1332777 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332777

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