I cold approached. First time ever

remain-solid · 2021-06-18T23:21:54+00:00

Even if you got rejected, be proud of yourself that you had to balls to approach, make it a habit.

double_prong · 2021-06-18T22:18:19+00:00

Good courage. Next time mention something specific about her you noticed, and try to make it a conversation. You're trying to show her why she might be interested.

killedthehunter2323 · 2021-06-18T22:20:31+00:00

Congrats keep up the good work lol! Some girls like this. I do! Gives me a comfidence boost...some girls find it off putting which I don't understand. As long as the guy doesn't force the issue when they are turned down it's perfectly fine imo.

ytyash · 2021-06-18T22:17:45+00:00

Feels good doesn't it ? Just putting yourself out there. And just knowing that you tried and didn't chicken out. That's such a worth it feeling! Happy to hear this man.

HikariZ3R0 · 2021-06-18T23:19:58+00:00

Small step is still a step, you’ll get more of that later. Say something different each time and you’ll carry a good conversation soon enough. Great work and should pat yourself in the back!

NabbyNab14 · 2021-06-18T23:59:22+00:00

Happened to me yesterday, except I didn't ask for her number or anything. Kicking myself now. Good on you man

michimoto · 2021-06-18T23:38:03+00:00

After the “I have a boyfriend” line I usually say “no worries, take it as a compliment.” The # of second chances this gave me was great even if it didn’t lead to anything. Was good practice for getting comfortable with cold approaches :)

sfii · 2021-06-19T14:21:36+00:00

As a girl with a boyfriend, if I was approached/“hit on” so respectfully like this I would be so flattered and it would make me feel great! Similarly when I’ve been single I wish I would have had the courage to approach guys like this too. Kudos on putting yourself out there so respectfully!

theraymondred · 2021-06-19T06:43:53+00:00

You are now in the top 10% of guys (probably that 10% is way too conservative) who ever cold approached a woman.

Remember: cold approaches are always hard at the beginning. Also after a Long pause you need to get into it again. But you did something that MOST men will NEVER do in their entire lives. You were bold, you didn’t hide your dick, congrats bro.

12amoore · 2021-06-19T14:09:21+00:00

Good job man. I did the same thing with a girl that I work with that just started the day I asked her. So far so good. 3rd date coming up

changthaiman · 2021-06-19T07:24:43+00:00

Don’t say “no worries”. Kind of like “no problem”. Implies there was worries or a problem to begin with. I like “all good. Or just. “Oh ok, take it easy”

Just my .02. But great job giving it a shot! So hard if you don’t do it often

BeardedBandit · 2021-06-19T15:14:38+00:00

Her: I have a boyfriend sorry!:)

You: cool, would you also like to get some coffee?

Well done though! It takes courage to have fear and push through anyway. Cold approaches are nerve wracking for anybody. For what it's worth though, if you try and just be an outgoing person... talk to fucking everybody about whatever... cold approaching the hot girls does get easier.

Talk to the lady behind you in line at the grocery store, talk to the guy getting gas at the pump next to you. Just, everyone.

And talk about whatever the fuck your brain is thinking about in that moment. The lady has wine in her cart? Mention it and tell her you prefer whites over reds. The gas guy, talk about the next lunar eclipse. Whatever, doesn't matter.

The point is to get practice at creating conversation out of thin air, and rolling into new topics. You aren't trying to fuck grocery lady, so there's no risk. You're not trying to get fucked by gas guy, so there's no risk. It's just practice for when you feel risk and fear, you have some experience and it's easier to overcome that fear of talking to the hotty in the makeup aisle.

Good luck lad, and well done!

Available_Session770 · 2021-06-19T15:53:55+00:00

Good for you!! You always miss the shot you don’t take 🤷🏼‍♀️

idontdobackflips · 2021-06-19T05:38:45+00:00

You don't have to cut off the conversation when a girl tells you they have a girlfriend if it's otherwise going well. Something like 'That's ok, I love your vibe! Why are you so happy?" Would have been a fine way to continue the conversation.

You can have friends that are girls, there's a lot of benefits to it.

Good job though man, you did well!

eyesopen1111 · 2021-06-19T18:28:29+00:00

I’ll fuss at you later for being behind on your pickup training, but let’s start with some helpful tips for beginners:

(1) You were lucky your direct approach compliment was so well received by her. After you get a positive response from a girl like her semi-enthusiastic "thank you," then you do a quick-wit reply, false time constraint, GAME, introduce yourself, and ask her name. For example:

Her: Thank you! You: "Absolutely! We nice-looking people need to stick together! (hopefully she’ll smile again) Say, I’m meeting up with some friends and only have a second, but I’m looking for something and I hope you can help me out. My name is Tyrone Chadsworth, what's your name?"

Her: My name is Target, but my friends call me "WAP"

That's a very tall order for nervous beginners to accomplish and that's less than two minutes of cold approach, lol!!

You have to back away from your direct opening before the boyfriend objection comes out. You have to have a bunch of GAME options ready to go depending on her mood and responses in order to calibrate properly. You have to know and practice enough so it all seems natural to the target. You have to know a fuck load of other shit. Thus, when you put that all together, the chance of beginner success is trivially small.

I’ve scored two of my last four girls from cold approach and much of the advice on this thread is well-meaning, but of poor quality. If you look at my post history you’ll see I don’t think cold approach is a good idea for beginners and that's because 99.9% get rejected nearly immediately due to ignorance.

Kitchen_Entertainer9 · 2021-06-19T18:29:03+00:00

Keep doing this and you will atart getting girls even if they have bfs.

Davidskylarkk · 2021-06-19T21:11:15+00:00

Takes serious balls to do that, pat on the back to you!!

Keep in mind, those are knee jerk reactions that just come out of women! Like if someone pulls a gun on you, your hands go up, can’t not do it…

So next time one says that to you, rebuttal it.

I never try more than once after. If they give me some nonsense about a boyfriend or some other be, I give it one more shot like;

“Good, then we know it’ll just be coffee and interesting conversation. There’s a Starbucks right around the corner, come on” and reach out my hand..

It won’t work 80-90% of the time BUT when it does, it’s almost a guaranteed hook up that day!

Good luck!

Specialist-Kick-1387 · 2021-06-19T11:30:09+00:00

if "would you like to get a coffee sometime?" was only the second sentence you spoke to that stranger, of course you were gonna get rejected. You need to build rapport.

Think about it: if someone came up to you and complimented say, what you were wearing, then immediately asked you for money, you'd tell them where to go. Why would a girl think any different?

Gloomy-Pineapple8480 · 2021-06-19T01:50:21+00:00

Congratulations it gets easier each time you will learn what works and doesn't. Sometimes " i have a boyfriend" is just a defense mechanism she may have been just as nervous as you. Try to throw a joke in there. For example if a girl tells me she has a boyfriend I ask her "how long have you had that problem" and watch her body language

Radio_Unique · 2021-06-19T11:29:31+00:00

Keep doing this! Awesome!

Ok_Camera1705 · 2021-06-19T12:26:39+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

savaj__ · 2021-06-19T16:45:56+00:00

Methods to get around the “ i have a bf” wall…

-Suggest they take your number down anyway and call when she feels ready to link up

-Ask if she has single friends and suggest that y’all all hang out together sometime . Even better if you can bring a friend of your own if she’s down.

Just my 2 cents , good job

peeper53 · 2021-06-19T05:38:43+00:00

Reading this makes me get out of the house and start approaching women's and people in general; Get better at the approaching game, will also boost my confidence in all the ways! Cheers!

AstralValProjection · 2021-06-19T13:21:38+00:00

Too direct bro too direct and you should've started a conversation with her instead of asking her out directly when you approached her. she wouldnt be giving you signals if she got a bf but anyway its your first and its a good thing, just dont forget to analyze your interactions and find ways to improvise.

bikitizd0g9 · 2021-06-19T13:35:09+00:00

You are lucky

In Toronto it goes like this

Guy - " hi my name is..... "

Woman - " GT FO before I call cops on you "

PROOF https://m.imgur.com/gallery/mxKH3fn

** Just Be Confident **

How can you be confident if girls tell you to fxvk off even before you finish the sentence " Hi my name is...." My confidence was shattered years ago

donchelli · 2021-06-19T15:33:49+00:00

🤣 you cracked me up bro!

comfortfood4soul · 2021-06-19T12:16:46+00:00

You did this perfectly except for one small addition. Enter your business card and if you don’t have business cards it make a card with your name and phone number on it maybe Instagram account. Hand it to her and say “well if it doesn’t work out between you guys, text me and we will get that cup of coffee”. This is the thing, she may be thinking about dropping the guy anyway and this could be the straw that breaks the camels back. All she needs is a reason to move forward. Be the reason

2021-06-19T04:57:18+00:00

Next time rent a Ferrari and see how quickly that boyfriend goes away. I knew she was a gold digger right from the get go, that filthy whore. lol

Interesting-Ad-5752 · 2021-06-19T00:34:33+00:00

Why you compliant her

Dakessian · 2021-06-19T03:49:57+00:00

I always feel like saying, “oh don’t worry, he can come to”

gbizzle2 · 2021-06-19T04:29:04+00:00

YEET!. Bro a smile alone is not a choosing signal

mjshibz · 2021-06-19T06:23:08+00:00

I don’t mean this in a weird way. But who tf wants to go get a coffee with a stranger? Lol why is this downvoted? Are 9 ppl offended at the possibility getting coffee isn’t my favorite thing to do?

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-06-19T17:16:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheFalconRonnie · 2021-06-19T07:33:23+00:00

All girls are the same, they all say this if they aren’t attracted to you

Title	I cold approached. First time ever
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	851
Comments	119
Date	June 18, 2021 10:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o31l3s/i_cold_approached_first_time_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-cold-approached-first-time-ever.1282259 https://theredarchive.com/post/1282259

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