I found a definition for confidence-killer.

bsjay · 2013-06-09T03:17:57+00:00

Sounds like a good excuse to wear a kick ass eye on patch of you want to. My friend has this same issue, and it was posing him off that at work people kept asking him if he was talking to them, so he got an eye patch. Sure he gets asked about the eye patch now, but he makes up different funny stories every time someone asks him about it

sirfuzzington · 2013-06-09T02:16:40+00:00

Rock that fucking lazy eye. The problem here is the power you are giving a "flaw" in your physical self. I can almost guarantee you the reason you are having trouble is because you are worrying so much and lacking so much confidence, it's not your eye. So, you have a lazy eye. Who gives a shit? My left eye rolls around in my head like a drunken sorcerer when I have had a few drinks. Do I care? No. Why? Because it is kind of hilarious, and everyone has things they find physically unappealing in themselves. Embrace your whole self, once you have confidence the rest will come naturally. Lighten up. Embrace who you are, quirks and all. You have a lot to offer other people. Don't waste it.

Icouldshitallday · 2013-06-09T03:48:43+00:00

A pair of classes with thick frames can really help mask it. Like this.

QuiSINoh · 2013-06-09T04:35:23+00:00

Two things:

1) Check out this video, where a guy approaches women with a dildo strapped to his head. Different in that it's clear it's not permanent, but interesting that you can work past an "elephant in the room" like that with confidence

2) The way you describe the automatic anxiety - every time you feel good you seem to automatically think about your eye - reminds me of a mind map. The figurative idea is that you have mapped the feeling of good to reminding yourself about your eye.

I used to have strong obsessive compulsive tendencies. I was able to eliminate most of them by forming a new mind map from them - essentially creating a habit. Every time I felt a compulsion, I would force myself to focus on something else, like what the shape of a cloud reminded me of, or how far away they were, etc.

It was no instant fix, but eventually I was able to distract myself enough with the forced thought that I'd forget about the compulsion. After doing that enough times, it became automatic, and the compulsions were less..compulsive.

So my suggestion is to associate thinking about your eye with another thought. Pick something you can focus on for a while and that makes you feel good. Have an upcoming trip you're looking forward to? Think about that. Force yourself to do this every time you think about your eye. Eventually, with any luck, it will become automatic. More importantly, you'll be able to stop thinking about your eye more easily.

Gredenis · 2013-06-09T11:47:41+00:00

Somewhere I read playing videogames can be practice for lazy eye. Maybe it could help.

MGM420 · 2013-06-09T05:03:45+00:00

Man the fuck up. There are people in wheelchairs. Incredible stutters. Own up to who you are.

Py72o · 2013-06-09T02:14:15+00:00

You want to know what the best part about confidence is? It is all in your head. Man up and accept your flaws everyone has them. Also you can use your eye as a conversation piece when you first start actually trying to get over your Anxiety about your eye.

Edit: I have freckles

Mr_Wright_Now · 2013-06-09T05:50:13+00:00

I agree with the previous posts, but I understand your "self-consciousness". Therefore, to address this I would suggest maybe getting some sort of eyeglasses.

Also, I have a friend with a slight lazy eye who has an incredibly hot girlfriend. I think the problem with you not having any friends is a bigger problem than talking to women. First, go get some friends. Be around those friends and gain some confidence. Next, if your lazy eye bothers you this much, do something about it. Take out a fucking loan and pay for the procedure. I would check to see if you have some sort of insurance plan that might cover it. Yeah, you will have to pay this back, but hopefully with a renewed sense of confidence you will see the value in life. At the end of the day man, take some ACTION. Whether it be going to the gym, doing yoga, or even running outside every morning to start.

Finally, the most important thing I can offer... is confidence comes from inside. YOU have to believe in YOU first before anyone else does. It is simple and sometimes seems obvious and elementary, but do YOU. Just be yourself. Love yourself. There's a reason why this happened, so you need to either overcome it or take actions to overcome this. This road to overcoming it is where the confidence will be built, and the confident you will always be thankful for the tough times that helped build this character. If somebody doesn't like your lazy eye, fuck them. If somebody wants to make fun of you, fuck them. However, don't ever sink down to their level and judge them. Keep a smile on and keep working. Save up some money get some damn surgery and come back like the confident motherfucker.

Good luck to you...and believe in your fucking self.

Twinkiepocalypse · 2013-06-09T05:54:14+00:00

Just came hear to say I have faith in your endevours. Life is too short to be looking in the mirror and hating what you see. (I know from experience.) stay confident and honestly, FUCK the people hating on you.

naboobies · 2013-06-09T07:39:51+00:00

Just Nick Fury it. He gets hella ass, i'm sure.

Katastrophenalarm · 2013-06-09T07:49:31+00:00

Check out http://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck/.

One of the best advices I got from there is to create a daily reminder in your calendar (for 30 days or so) telling you to "Not give a fuck". This sounds pretty stupid but helped me more than anything else before, to not give a fuck about certain things.

edit: typo

nehifish · 2013-06-09T14:05:02+00:00

I'm extremely pale, so when I have been outside during the summer forgetting sunscreen, I either look like Rudolph, stoplight, tomato what ever. I've always been extremely selfconcious about it, but I've come to the realization that I only lose attraction if I get selfconcious about it, not the fact that I look like Rudolph. Now-a-days I just introduce myself as Rudolph and get them to laugh abit and go on with the conversation. I do realize that this might not be as hard to deal with as what you have to but it's all about owning up to who and what you are.

HeroPUA · 2013-06-09T16:23:05+00:00

The book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem has helped me because it has exercises to help you accept your body. But you know what, most girls are insecure about their appearance. Whether flaws are real or imagined, it doesn't matter. Girls will probably feel comfortable around you after you become comfortable with yourself. Sean Stephenson is in a wheelchair yet he picks up girls and teaches guys and shit. It's all in your head man, just believe in yourself.

PuempelsPurpose · 2013-06-09T23:00:16+00:00

Don't wear a fucking iPatch bro. Who gives a shit about a lazy eye? The very results you sent me to predominantly displayed Paris Hilton, i.e a woman who is literally famous for being a drunk party whore who oozes confidence AND a woman with a lazy eye. Sure, she is better looking than you, but who cares? I used to have a stutter and a nervous lisp, and guess what? They remedied themselves when I started being social. I have social anxiety, yet I am one of the most outgoing people you'll meet... because when I'm not, my anxiety comes to the forefront. You must become great because of your lazy eye, not despite it. As hard as it is to do (and trust me, I know how hard it is and recently went through an insanely difficult spell)... you just need to stop being a pussy and PUT YOURSELF THE FUCK OUT THERE! All there is to it, man.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-06-10T04:27:43+00:00

You can overcome this. It's a very minor thing. If you don't make it a big deal, it won't be.

gloveup · 2013-06-13T15:32:32+00:00

I hope I'm not too late to the thread and OP sees this. I'm going to say this with absolute seriousness. And don't knock it until you do it. Boxing.

Take up boxing right now. Call your nearest gym. Not a normal 24 hour fitness, or chain gym. A real fuckin gym. Or an MMA gym. There's bound to be one near you.

Go in there and man up. Get into a class for boxing or Jiu Jitsu, or hell do both, and I promise you that your confidence will go through the fucking roof. It'll be hard. I'm not going to sugar coat it like it's a cake walk but I promise that after you get comfortable, everyday you'll look forward to going. You fucking walk your shit in there today and you go as often as fucking possible. They know you're new, and they won't whip your ass right off the bat. Every gym I've been to is cool as shit. There's douches, but steer clear of them and you'll be fine. You'll be scared but you shouldn't be. Fight gyms are some of the closest knit group of friends I've ever had the pleasure being a part of. So get over the fear and just do it. Just show up on time, and come into it showing that you're willing to go 100% every fucking time and they'll respect that and you'll be on your way to being the bad ass we already know you are.

And don't sit here and tell me "yeah i was thinking about calling a gym, but i haven't gotten aroudn to it..blah blah blah." I dont care. Do it right fucking now. You call and you fucking do it. I don't care if your overweight or out of shape or what. A guy I know just lost over 50 pounds in 6 weeks going to the gym 5 days a week for an hour, but giving it his all while he was there. GET OUT THERE AND FUCKING DO IT ALREADY.

Self defense, real self defense (not a tae kwon do class) is the best way to boost confidence. Your eye wont even matter. Guess what? It's not an accident, you did it boxing now. And there's nothing like knowing that at any given moment you can beat the crap out of someone giving you shit. It boosts your confidence in every aspect in life. That sounds douchy as fuck, because it is.

The thing is, and you'll find this out rather quickly, your confidence will be so god damn un-fucking-shakeable that you won't ever feel the need to fight.....fucking ever. You know that if it's ever needed, you can beat some asshole up, but you won't even want to because you are already the fuckin alpha and you know it. Fight Club had it right. "After fighting, everything else in your life has the volume turned down."

Getting punched may hurt, but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as a solitary lifestyle. I can promise you that much. (Also, the more you actually get punched, the less a hit will phase you. I promise. It sounds like some kind of lie, but getting hit isn't that bad)

Take up boxing, quit giving a fuck, and get out there and make that fucking eye contact, you beast.

H2talal · 2013-06-15T04:36:05+00:00

Ok lazy-eye. I have a glass eye, well polycarbonate actually, but its fake and it doesn't move naturally. It was a huge barrier when I was in high school, and I wasn't even able to think about game until college due to it. Still, despite my issues and lack of self-confidence and self-respect I had opportunities at that time yet had such little appreciation and little self-worth that they never resolved.

Fast forward to college- there was a point where I didn't give a fuck. I had a roommate with a lazy eye and we went out together trying to close- admittedly he was much better than me, and he never had problems closing. It took me a while to figure it out, but in the end everything you read here is about being confident and being interesting- things you learn from trial and error, and things that bring value to you as a hookup. It took me a while, but its clear for me now and I have no problems with the game. Looks can be important, but how often do you hear complaints about ugly guys with gorgeous women?

Best of luck, but don't let the eye get in your way

Title	I found a definition for confidence-killer.
Author	y0s3dd1t
Upvotes	13
Comments	44
Date	June 9, 2013 2:02 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fyjog/i_found_a_definition_for_confidencekiller/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-found-a-definition-for-confidence-killer.1353603 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353603

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