Hey everyone, I was out at the this bar last night with a couple buddies and some women we met on Friday after this concert. I’ve been dealing with some pretty heavy mental anxiety and depression the last few years and am finally getting help for them with therapy and medication.

I was pretty drunk but was about to go talk this girl when she looked at me and said “no” like she saw me and was disgusted, but more so she was enjoying the power of rejecting a guy. This made me feel really bad. Then we were leaving and one of the women we met on Friday seemed to be going home with some other guy.. on Friday she was being pretty cold to me so I wasn’t even flirting with her all night so she hugged me and joked like “nice seeing you but it’s been too often”. Even though she was joking I was pissed inside since the dude she was going with wasn’t anymore attractive than me but she was being cold with me the night before. My buddy went home with one of her friends and when I left she was like “yeah I want to introduce Alicia to Dan”.. Alicia is her other friend that was out with us who didn’t seem interested either in me and Dan is my buddy who f*cked her other friend on Friday but stayed in last night.

I honestly felt like the biggest pussy. I have built a self image around attractive women being repulsed by me and it really stung last night. I was crying in on the way back to my place last night. I am short but I’m handsome and fit, I was even break dancing at the bar.

I realized I can’t be doing any substances right now so I going to be completely sober the rest of the month. It really hurt last night, it’s not like I’m a virgin but I feel like women I’m attracted to just don’t like me and always walk away from me.. it really hurts