I realized something today.

pureboy · 2017-10-27T09:15:54+00:00

I have made this mistake many times right away when I meet a girl and it all have super failed.

Yass_King · 2017-10-27T13:33:10+00:00

Sad but true. A good rule of thumb is reciprocate as much or slightly less than the feelings she expresses to you. You don't want to be eternally cold, because that can ruin the relationship as well, but something in most girls' internal wiring simply gets turned off when they suspect a guy may like them more than they like him.

bugxter · 2017-10-27T23:48:38+00:00

Honestly, man, if she loses all her interest because you showed yours, that means you were just a game to her. It's exactly the same as when you lose interest in a girl because you already 'won' her over.

Why do we hold women to much more lower standards than us?

whatnololyea · 2017-10-27T09:49:56+00:00

What do you mean by "emotions"? I mean, if I'm having a happy, fun, vibe, I can't help but let it permeate through me for better or for worse (believe me, this makes me say a lot of stupid shit so it's not 100% good).

pautpy · 2017-10-27T15:31:42+00:00

As CCW often says, "women are attracted to men whose feelings are unclear" and (paraphrased) "women fall in love much slower than men". All of this to say, you shouldn't spill the beans until you know she's head over heels in love with you, and even then, there's a right way to go about it which is not to break your frame and vomit your emotions on her lap.

givenzero · 2017-10-27T19:26:21+00:00

You write well while drunk

SnapSocialGuru · 2017-10-27T12:36:31+00:00

Showing feeling too quick is a display of flimsiness.

Holding feelings back is a display of control.

One earns respect, one does not. We've all learned the hard way.

Nonobest · 2017-10-27T18:59:26+00:00

She might’ve realized the impression she had of you in her head is not the same as who you are. It’s nothing against you it just means you’re not compatible.

MrMouse92 · 2017-10-27T19:38:41+00:00

I made this mistake two weeks ago and it costed me what would have been an amazing relationship. But like you said time to be a better man and move on

DamnDatAssSoFine · 2017-10-27T18:03:39+00:00

You might have showed her your emotions in a chodey way. Or that perhaps the problem is with her.

1 person is not a good sample size ma dude

BasicallyIt · 2017-10-27T15:57:32+00:00

I think this needs more background. Showing your emotions is completely fine, but it seems like maybe you came off as needy. Care to go deeper? I'm curious honestly.

cyan1618 · 2017-10-27T18:13:30+00:00

Did she admited that she has a HUGE crush on you or you just think that by yourself?
Do you think she losing feeling not because you show your but because when she get to know you she realize you're not as cool as she though? Or maybe some guy hit on her lately?

answermeanything · 2017-10-27T20:29:23+00:00

Showing your intention and feelings toward a girl is okay. Here'sthe paradox Being vulnerable is what makes a man attractive.

the thing about what youve done is that you put her on pedestal, became needy and waited for her reaction. Usually when I express my feeling to a girl I give her time to digest. Just act normal as if nothing happened.

PrinceOfDubai · 2017-10-27T10:40:37+00:00

I have also made this tragic mistake recently as well. About 2 months ago.

SamuelArk · 2017-10-27T12:43:46+00:00

My man, keep grinding buddy.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-10-27T17:56:48+00:00

Never show your emotions too soon to a girl. Period.

Wrong diagnosis. You've left out exactly what you did, but there are two possibilities.

You came at her with neediness. This is not the same as simply showing emotions. This is showing a girl that you actually can't handle your emotions and will be demanding her to do some of your own work, for you.
She simply wasn't looking for something serious, and if you weren't being needy and simply being more serious, that would be enough to push her away. If it's this on, then what happened was a GOOD thing.

Which one is hard to say, because you were not clear about what you meant when you said:

forget about keeping my frame

evoltrap · 2017-10-27T19:35:29+00:00

Hold on, isn't Mark Manson's main point that we should remain vulnerable in our actions with women? I'm a big fan of his philosophy and, with all due respect, I don't think your realization is compatible with this. I tend to agree that there must've been some level of neediness that went along with what you did.

I think the key is to be direct and forward with your intent without centering your emotions all on one person, since you're a quality guy (or girl) that has plenty of choice.

AmINotSeeingIt · 2017-10-27T17:35:38+00:00

crap I am making this mistake right now. I've known them for 5 years, only started getting to know them a few months ago, only met twice in three months, Regularly talk via text, i think ive revealed too much already, we might meet next week ....Can I salvage this?

PileHigherDeeper · 2017-10-27T18:22:28+00:00

The first rule of relationships is....

Love is always a secret.(Keep it a mystery.)

mydogfartzwithz · 2017-10-28T01:36:58+00:00

Always keep your intentions a secret. Be the mystery. If you want to take a girl out tell her to come out with you, take her somewhere. If you want to be a bitch boy and get denied then "ask" her out.

ShinobiKrow · 2017-10-28T03:28:23+00:00

Looking very emotional is never good for a guy. Makes you look weak. The best way to deal with a women you're still meeting is acting calm, cool and distant. Don't talk about what you feel about her, don't act like you miss her very much, don't freak out about random shit. It's pretty simple. Be cold.

euphoric_misanthrope · 2017-10-28T04:32:28+00:00

Did you want a monogamous relationship with her? Maybe she did not want that?

daninthelionsden2010 · 2017-10-28T09:02:39+00:00

well, thats fucked man. a healthy relationship requires authenticity on a real tangible level. a guy with real integrity and ambition and honesty and goodwill is incredibly attractive.

ludodownnow · 2017-10-28T11:15:41+00:00

What did you say to her?

2017-10-28T17:46:03+00:00

I learned to remain the same person as I was when she crushed on me in the first place.

It's hard because you are happy that she likes you, and you like her because she likes you.

I learned because I got curved by a girl who was like a 5 in looks. Then I realized I only like her because she liked me and that was messed up of me.

Sad_Sleeper · 2017-10-27T13:03:43+00:00

Well you should overcome these stuff. First of all if you haven't fucked her, how are you getting feelings. Also maybe you have not been showing your true intentions. Did you escalate ? Did you kiss her?

DavidGolani11 · 2017-10-27T20:00:39+00:00

Not really, lots of girls love a guy that is not hesitant to be romantic and free with his emotions. Its just when you get creepy and clingy and say wierd shit is when they want to get away from you.

node202fighter · 2017-10-27T15:15:54+00:00

Fuck, this is me

GameAndGains · 2017-10-27T15:11:34+00:00

It sounds like the problem was you didn't fuck her fast enough.

What specifically do you mean by showing emotions in this context? You mean you showed to much interest?

Title	I realized something today.
Author	ajinomoto213
Upvotes	176
Comments	56
Date	October 27, 2017 8:25 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/791ybx/i_realized_something_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-realized-something-today.1435880 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435880

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