I want to stop drinking

Psych40 · 2014-08-23T13:23:36+00:00

Quit. If you don't want to do pickup at bars, don't do it. Work on your daygame. Get a Tinder and OKCupid account. You don't need to ruin your health just to bang chicks. Take care of yourself first.

Bana_ · 2014-08-23T13:34:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

IusedtobeCool_Iswear · 2014-08-23T13:55:38+00:00

I don't post here often, but I have some insight into this.

Backround: I'm 26 and completely sober. I used to party frequently and with self-destructive vigor. I didn't realize at the time how much of a crutch it was for my social life. Nearly all of my friendships and romances revolved around the use (and sale) of alcohol and other drugs for YEARS. I'll skip the story, but one day I found myself in jail for a class 3 felony in the great state of Nebraska; a place I had never lived and where I knew literally 1 person, who wound up fleeing the state (and authorities). Mercifully, I was given 4 years probation. If I fuck it up, I'm looking at a mandatory minimum 1-20 years in state prison. So I decided to stay sober. (TL;DR: I was a criminal scumbag who used alcohol and drugs indiscriminately for years until I got into serious trouble with the law, BUT I did get laid)

Sobering up and going back to school in a foreign town known for its drinking was humbling. All anybody wants to do is get fucked up and party, or maybe get tipsy and talk, or maybe just have a glass of wine and watch netflix, but it doesn't matter because I can't (and you won't). You can actually use that. Use it to set yourself apart. If you still go to parties or bars, but don't drink you can set yourself apart by remaining completely in control of yourself and your faculties. You can look like James Bond next to screaming frat boys.

Furthermore, if you want to get sober, you probably have a good reason for that. Probably a couple of good stories that you can use to both highlight your experience and explain your choices. Personally, my story was in the paper, but I usually hold it back until I know people pretty well. It's great after a couple of weeks of getting to know a girl and hinting at the shit that I used to get into very vaguely. When I'm not fucked up I tend to have a generally calm and urbane demeaner, so when I explain how I got here, I get a lot of shocked "Holy Shit!" and "That was you?!" A lot of girls like the idea of a (mostly) reformed bad boy as much as they like the bad boys themselves.

That all works for me, but the most important thing is to show people that you don't need to lose control of yourself to have fun. Once you tell people you don't drink, DO NOT BUDGE. Ever. Stick to your guns and people will respect you for it as long as you don't preach. This is your opportunity to learn day game (Sobriety is what led me to this subreddit in the first place.) Campus, classes and coffee shops are your buffet now. Tinder and OKCupid are where you order delivery. (Delivery times vary wildly and may be long.)

You don't have to be sober to be an adult; a lot of people can balance drugs and alcohol with a happy and productive life. However, most drunk, young 20-somethings are going to look like children compared to you if you can maintain an active and interesting lifestyle without alcohol.

Here are things to look forward to:

*You'll have more energy

*Your skin will get healthier

*You'll get leaner (Alcohol breaks down into sugars--You'll be avoiding lots of empty calories)

*You'll save money

*Your dick will always work when you want it to^{^{^{^{^probably}}}}

*You'll respect yourself for accomplishing something real and good for yourself.

That's all I got right now, but I hope this helped somewhat.

Also, tonic water and lime are usually free at bars and you can tip $1 each time and most bartenders will serve you happily and promptly once they know your order (It's one less trip to the cash register and basically free money for them)

Jerfy · 2014-08-23T13:31:00+00:00

What about quitting but still going out and drinking soda or water instead?

wtcrawfish · 2014-08-23T14:45:41+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Just started at a new Uni where the constant seems to be partying. After a summer of HEAVY drinking, I've decided I'm done.

Something that really sticks out to me is something I believe I read on r/seduction. It went something like, "If you want to date a fit girl, start working out. If you want to date an intelligent girl, start reading." In the same light, I'm putting down some bad habits in an effort to refine who I am, and not be constrained by something so trivial and find girls that feel the same.

So far, people have respected my wishes with little questioning.

Moonpunch23 · 2014-08-23T16:24:16+00:00

First off, as a sober guy who was in the same situation as you seem to be, let me commend your decision. Shit takes maturity. Secondly, let me prepare for your post-drinking social life--it'll certainly be different.

For one, you'll start to realize what a time sump the usual night out is (I'm talking about the standard drink, get drunk, pass out, repeat, way of life). People do that shit for entire lifetimes and in my eyes, it's a massive waste of life-hours; you only have so much time. You'll also see, from a sober mindset how shitty and icky the bar environment is--not to mention boring as hell. You can only experience belligerent, squawking girls and alpha males with their chests puffed out so many times before you're like fuck this shit.

By not drinking you've just given yourself a handful of additional time to do fun, self improving shit with; and it doesn't have to come at the expense of your social life. Believe it or not, there are people out there who like to do shit. Join meetup groups, volunteer, hit up the gym, join tinder, engage in online dating, all things that happen to be stuffed with varied, interesting females. There's no reason that not drinking should equal no women. There will def be an adjustment period as you sort through your friends and find the curious ones up for a walk in the park or a museum visit vs. the ones who really weren't friends to begin with and are just convenient drinking pals.

If you're having trouble drinking, go to AA meetings (funnily enough a great place to meet females). There's a million resources out there for people like you and a ton of shit to do that involves the possibility of feminine accompaniment. Not drinking isn't the end of the world. I wish you luck, man.

nedshepherd · 2014-08-23T18:32:16+00:00

Bro, Julien from RSD doesn't drink - I remember in one video he was picking up a girl and he told her to "tell me your phone number, I'll remember it, I don't drink" and she didn't seem to think it was weird at all. You can still run nightgame, just don't drink alcohol. Get a pepsi or something instead.

MasterEpictetus · 2014-08-24T12:47:34+00:00

I stopped drinking about 7 months ago and my life is significantly better now. This is how I did it.

I used to be the guy that needed to drink in order to have fun. However, I noticed that alcohol had become a crutch for social confidence, especially around women. Moreover, it's not sustainable and it will fuck your health as you get older.

I did a test. I stopped drinking for a month and forced myself to go out just as much. I was surprised, I had a lot of fun and I also picked up girls. After a month I got drunk and I totally hated it. Haven't gotten drunk since. To my surprise I can still have one drink with a friend or a girl, but I drink it really slowly and I never get drunk.

A few notes.

Without alcohol your fun will never be as intense. Everything is more mild (and healthier).
You will start hating drunk people that are just like you used to be.
You will feel great the next day after a night out. I wake up in the morning and hit the gym every Saturday and Sunday.

gensyms · 2014-08-23T14:10:09+00:00

One of the amazing things about bars is that they serve non-alcoholic drinks too.

Even on nights when I do drink -- I typically get one whisky drink and then drink ginger ale the rest of the night. Oh yeah, and in many bars the ginger ale is free.

Fuck_Dacts · 2014-08-23T14:31:53+00:00

30 year old musician here. I go out very regularly to see and play gigs in pubs. When I play I get free drinks which is nice. Not playing I will have maybe one beer and call it at that. Too expensive to be drinking every night and I feel it gives me a chance to be 100% in the game. Plus it is harder to dance with a beer in hand.

I'm a firm believer in quitting with your vices present. Early on you may want to avoid it but if you do not give yourself the chance to say no you haven't truly beaten it.

Remember that you are a man and you do what you want. If you want to quit drinking then you already have. You are the life of the party with or without booze. That's not the deciding factor, your mindset is. If someone doesn't want to hang out with you because you don't drink then leave and find someone who does.

1vibe · 2014-08-23T17:15:50+00:00

Ha! I had the same issue. It was tough at first, but now I just tell people, I don't drink. Although often you'll find me in a bar drinking "tonic with a twist of lime in a small glass". That's all you need in your hand to make it a non-issue (which it is).

2014-08-23T22:23:24+00:00

Charlie sheen said something like this when he was quitting drugs: it's done I quit.

And the reporter was like just like that?

He goes yeah just like that I'm Charlie sheen, I said I quit I quit.

Im_at_home · 2014-08-23T23:14:13+00:00

Order soda with a lime in it. People will assume you're drinking and won't ask you why you aren't drinking.

If you feel like you can't be around alcohol period, try taking art, hobby, dance, etc. classes.

throwaway_holla · 2014-08-24T00:40:17+00:00

First, I totally empathize. As you said, not drinking is seeming like it cuts off any chance to meet or socialize with girls.

But keep in mind that's because you currently see places with alcohol as the venues for girls.

The reality is that there's the entire rest of the world. That and that most girls other than barflies and gutter sluts, hate bars!

First off, you CAN do the online dating thing. What you mean by "I can't" is "I don't want to." So, which do you want more? To keep drinking and ruin your $200 jeans and risk going to jail, or, to quit drinking and do some online dating?

Also, online dating isn't bad. It's just like dating offline, since people are people whether they're in person or in front of their computer or phone. In fact online has some advantages, namely that you can scout out WAY more girls in a short time. And you can see and learn about them, and come up with a way to approach them (make a joke about, or mention, something in a pic or in their profile) whereas in person all you know is how they look in that moment.

Second, there are tons of other options than bars or online. You can approach women in public by yourself! Or, get into an activity (hiking, sports, whatever) that involves people.

Good luck and go for it! You can do it! Tons of us do! :)

juggz42 · 2014-08-24T09:21:54+00:00

For training reasons I'm off alcohol, haven't had a drop since the start of June. Has this affected me with women? No.

My personal favourite first date (as I will tell anyone) is bowling. Sober, cheap enough, breaks up conversation so you don't need to constantly be "on" and if you like them go get a coffee/hot chocolate after.

Tl;dr you don't need to drink to date, just be creative.

ResseXx · 2014-08-23T19:44:26+00:00

Actually you don't have to drink till you are dead drunk. You can just have a couple of drinks with your friends and hook up with some girls. When i drink something i am waaaay more open and extroverse, but that doesn't mean that when i am sober i can't approach girls. I think it's all about personality and training in approaches. When you drink you just help your inner come out

Title	I want to stop drinking
Author	elbarbaro2
Upvotes	20
Comments	38
Date	August 23, 2014 1:05 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ed2mg/i_want_to_stop_drinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-want-to-stop-drinking.1375464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1375464

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