TL;DR: Watch the video I've included because I think a good number of you could stand to be more "vulnerable" by and embrace yourself. It will help your inner game without sacrificing "being alpha."

After checking out this video suggested on my front page, it got me to thinking about this particular subreddit.

I think part of what prevents me from fully accepting the canons of this community is the false sense of self you impose on yourselves. While it is true that in order to elevate your "game" by becoming more confident and polished in your look, I see stories about nights out ("field reports") and all of this lingo that turns human social interaction into a methodical, cold and calculated dissection of the female mind, with every report written under the pretense that she is "guilty until proven innocent" - she's below me and she has to qualify herself to be worthy of my reality.

And to be fair, maybe our goals are different. A good deal of you simply want to get laid a ton because you never had before. Some of you just want to bang models cause all of your previous endeavors were trolls. All of that is fair, but I would gather that, at the end of it all, eventually you just want to be loved and appreciated for who you are, by a woman who appeals to you on every level - physically, sexually, intellectually and spiritually. Those women are rare and indeed require a man of equal value...and I think a big piece of value that is missing from that equation that you've laid out here is openness and vulnerability.

To some extent I think you do a great job: overcoming approach anxiety, the courage to get a woman's number or bring her back to your apartment, and the ability to say "no" and risk losing a girl because you have an abundance mentality that there are always other fish in the sea. You expose yourselves to vulnerability by facing fear and rejection, and that's awesome. Some of you are much better at it than I, and so I tip my hat to you. But what if I challenged you to take it further. What if I challenged you to really let a woman into your life, and your heart, once you've fully passed the "seduction phase" and you're actually with a girl you like.

Most guys, and this group is included, fear exposure. They fear crying, they fear emotion and they fear talking about their feelings. Characteristically, it is seen as very beta and feminine. But between doing a ton of study on inner game, confidence and psychology (this video included), one of the things I really appreciate about myself is that I am an open book. That I don't hide my feelings, that I do cry and that I do live a fully-emotional life. The pain I experience is counter-balanced by the intense joy and laughter I also strive for - it feels human. And I think that can separate you from the pack. A man who is proud of his emotions, doesn't apologize for them, and strives for sound mental health is a great asset to anyone, not just women. On top of the many positives we strive for in this community, I would encourage you to also strive for emotional health.

Empathize with the humanity of a woman. As much as you see her as "just another person" who indeed should be impressive before you date her / sleep with her, you should also see her as a human being with a past; and that past has its issues and its lessons in joy and understanding. If you really want to build comfort and actually promote a fantastic relationship out of the HB9, be your true self. Don't hide how you feel because you believe it's not macho or alpha enough. You had the courage to walk up to her, now have the courage to expose the gamut of feelings you own. Obviously don't talk about your parents' divorce and your dog dying on date one, but the sheer lack of long-term relationships on here is a bit disturbing, and I think what may be holding some of you back from achieving that is the ability to be vulnerable.

This has been an insane rant, but I just really liked this TED talk and I think it could be relevant to those working out inner game.