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[–]mph99999 69 points70 points71 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Try tinder, an 8 or 9 should get 20 matches a day at least, if you don't get many matches you are not good looking as you think.
[–]Mhotdemnot 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This^
[–]dageuse 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Herpes too.
[–]ejay1250 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm a solid 4. Girls stare at me, usually in disgust
[–]SundaySermon 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But whenever I go out in public, women very rarely look at me
Women don't consistently do that, even for the most attractive men.
whenever I try to strike up a conversation, I usually just get one word answers
With strangers in public? There's a bit of an art to this, maybe you aren't doing it wrong.
I struggle to get dates.
What's your method for doing it?
Good social skills =/= good game. There's certainly overlap, but it's not always the same.
It's a nice to think that we're all so beautiful that people are intimidated. That we're all so qualified that the job we applied for won't even call us for an interview. That we're all so smart, people just don't understand us.
But those scenarios are most often exceptions, not the rule.
What's your game like? How are you approaching women?
[–]fuudogg 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hahahhaha
[–]gim_san 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao you are not nice man
[–]Joel504 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Im kinda in the same boat too, people often tell me i look pissed, ive had girls tell my friends that i look mean, when they tell them they like me. Im like wtf.
[–]cardkid1234 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I started researching body language, and this is very much fixable if you were interested. Most people’s resting facial expression is not exactly resting in regards to the tons of tiny muscles in the face you are still flexing.
If you learn how to relax those muscles, you can bring your face to it’s true resting position through habit building. And then if you want to, you can focus on adding a slight smile to it. It will feel odd at first, but it will eventually feel normal and the results and how people see you differently will feel great.
[–]Joel504 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve kinda tried to do something like that... it’s typically my eyebrows that are the issue I’ve always scrunched them since i was a little kid, my dad does the same. but their shape doesn’t help much either its almost like Jason momoa eyebrow shape. But thanks for the advice I’ll definitely give it another swing
[–]FJackxd 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've got a pretty serious natural expression and my face muscles are pretty stiff. Faceshape/proportion wise I have almost a model like face (when I'm not laughing, when I am laughing my face looks very stupid and funny to look at) but my female friends tell me that my expression is always very serious/intimidating/angry looking. I've come to accept it at this point.
[–]parkmynuts 12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Selfie...do it! 44(F)
[–]xk17x 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have a colleague whose looks can be rated as 8 or 9 but he’s so intimidating that I don’t think any girl in the office would really want to date him.
He has good social skills too, he could talk confidently to anyone but there’s something with his aura. I also noticed that when girls walk past him, they always try to avoid eye contact. But he’s definitely in “top 3 hottest guys in the office” of every girl (yea, he’s in my top 3 too). And the first time he talks to me during a team dinner, I panicked a bit inside and all I can think was “Somebody help!” Lol.
So yea, it’s not just the looks. It’s probably in your aura too. I can’t really explain it but it’s like the impression you give without speaking. Maybe you seem too confident all the time (without realizing it) that it eats aways other women’s confidence.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Could you go more in depth about this aura? I’ve heard a number of women mention this in conversation. It seems that so much of what a woman finds attractive in a man is what his aura portrays about his internal disposition.
[–]xk17x 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not sure if it’s the same for men, but sometimes you can just look at a person and get an idea about his personality. Of course it’s not always correct. But still, it has an impact on how we think about a man, especially when that man is just a stranger in the bar that we really know nothing about. So it’s basically judging someone without knowing them lol
It’s not purely based on looks but uhh how you present yourself? I can’t really find the right words.
[–]Kzh83 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think of it like Beauty in transition in my mind. How your mind work affect the speed and pattern of your movements to create an aura. A traveler behave different from a doctor or atlhlete but all can have the same appearances, bearing and clothes. There are other things, but that's the basics.
[–]Averyashimself 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I’m not trying to flex but I’m the exact same way. But I believe girls don’t generally look straight at good looking guys in an obvious way, even the most attractive men.
Ask yourself, when’s the last time you saw some group of girls on an average casual day look at some super attractive fellow and they all start drooling over his looks (with the exception of celebrities for obvious reasons).
In short, it seems that women are kinda sneaky when they make glances at people they find attractive.
[–]SundaySermon 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I alluded to this in my post, but this is absolutely fundamental, OP.
Two quick stories:
I was at a concert a few years ago. The men's room was at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the mezzanine. I didn't see the sign at first, so I actually started walking up the stairs trying to find it.
Making my way toward the stairs, I notice two attractive women also about to head up. No eye contact. Their expressions were blank.
I start up the stairs, the women behind me. Two seconds later, I realize I had passed the bathroom. I stop, pivot and work my way around them. "Excuse me." "Excuse me."
As I head into the bathroom, I hear one of the women say, "Oh shit, I did it again."
Her friend goes, "I know. And he was cute, too!"
"I know!"
So no strong eye contact. No IOIs. But they both thought I was attractive. Sadly, I couldn't find either the rest of the next.
My second story:
I was at a bar that attracts a crowd much older than myself. There were lines outside the men's and women's rooms. A woman in her mid-30s is in front of me.
I notice her taking a selfie and decide I want to get into a more social state. So I photobomb it.
"Sorry I couldn't resist."
"No! it was funny."
But she never really makes eye contact with me or continues the conversation. We both do our business.
Later in the night, my buddy's with a woman, so I decide to talk to bathroom woman again. I signal her over and we start chatting. It's actually flirty. There's eye contact.
At one point, I ask something along the lines of "what did you think when we met earlier." Call it dumb, but whatever.
"Well, I thought you were really handsome. I even told my sister, I just met the most handsome guy over by the bathroom."
Again, no real eye contact. She didn't get a great look at me and didn't build rapport at all. I looked awful in the selfie. And yet she was raving to her sister about my appearance.
[–]Averyashimself 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Exactly man, and interesting stories, I have some similar ones. But I do want to point out that I’ve noticed a very interesting change in girls/women as I’ve aged:
In my teens, girls were wayyy more obvious and open about it if they found me and other guys attractive.
Of course once I moved on to college, I’ve found girls to be far more to themselves, and not nearly as vocal or direct about who they find attractive. Maybe I haven’t given it enough thought, but I’ve found myself wondering why there was that change. I don’t think that I’ve gotten uglier, at least imho. Is it that society has changed, or perhaps that’s a normal part of maturity?
Just a funny little thing
[–]SundaySermon 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Interesting observation. I'm not sure I've noticed the same, but we could be in very different age groups.
I was going to suggestion that younger people have less social restraints (i.e. a professional can't be throwing themselves on a guy). But that wouldn't make sense if the college girls are more restrained.
In my case, it's always been more of a "type" of woman who is that ready to throw themselves at a guy. And usually, that's not the one you want to be with.
[–]FJackxd 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've observed this too. Up until high-school I would pretty much know which girls have a crush on me. Most of them being pretty obvious in their advances. Ever since I started college I had started to doubt myself, even blaming it to my just started receding hairline which when I asked my friends they told me that it's not even noticeable. I'm pretty sure that as girls mature, they get better at hiding this stuff from guys.
Ill tell you a funny story that happened just this week. So on Thursday my college has casuals day (otherwise uniform) and there was this really hot girl that I was checking out for a while, she was with her friends in the same vicinity (not sure if that's the right way to put it). I didn't even notice her glancing at me even once but I didn't give it much thought. Right as they were leaving (and I was checking her ass out) I saw her flick her hair and look straight at me which wasn't a coincidence because her head was pretty much turned to the limit (no one was behind me), the moment or eyes met she looked away, very hurriedly.
[–]Averyashimself 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s really nice when situations happen like that on campus. I take it as a little reminder that girls still look at me too, they’re just sneaky af about how they do it. It’d be nice for that to happen more often too, as it would sure make picking up signals a little easier.
Yeah, agree to that.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
I did leave that up in the air, didn't I?
First, she was always a maybe for me. Fun to flirt with, good validation. But not a must-see-again.
She made it clear she wasn't going to do anything that night, but invited me out the next night with her work friends in the gay neighborhood of my city. I already had plans that weren't worth cancelling for.
Ultimately, I knew logistics would make it tough to see her again. We met each other at a bar that was nowhere near either of our home. We never really made it out to each other's side of the county, so I never followed up.
[–]zsuesques 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Looks usually means the guy's a cocky ass or he's playing you. Don't come on too strong and have thoughtful conversations. That's better received, than pick up lines. We learned back in middle school the gorgeous guys are the meanest.
[–]addy16a2 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so true.
[–]Radical899 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Game is NOT about looks. You could be the platonic conception of ruggedness and beauty and, while that will certainly help, it is neither necessary nor sufficient to be good with women
Too many “good looking” guys come on here to complain about their lack of a love life. The problem is you all mostly are misunderstanding attraction
There’s good news and bad news. The good news, physical attractiveness is one aspect you don’t need to work on (as much most likely). The bad news, that’s only a small part of game. You have to be genuine, interesting, have life experiences, and be able to display the traits of an exceptional male, among many other things. On top of all that, you need to be able to seduce women
Don’t think just because you have good looks you are better than the rest of the guys on here. You have to show women you are more than a pretty face. Start with the fundamentals of dating and attraction like everyone else. You aren’t entitled to girls fucking you because you think you are hot
[–]FJackxd 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Any suggestions for research on fundamentals is dating and attraction?
[–]Radical899 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Personally, I like Models by Mark Manson for the basics and overall mindset. Atomic Attraction by Christopher Canwell is also good, but the author weaves in some pretty atrocious sexist thinking at times. I usually laugh because it’s so obviously the author’s personal hang ups with women. For the most part, imo, the overall content on attraction is pretty good (I’ve seen great results implementing some of it)
I'll start reading those then. Appreciate it bro :)
[–]dageuse 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm a 7-8 and had run in the same situation occasionally. I like it. I'm good looking but not too good looking. Depending on my mood, I can either be the aggressor or sit back and let a chick come up to me!
[–]401kisfun 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If you look like you were factory built (tall, square jaw, strong hairline, lean and/or muscular) it will be cake to get a date, no question. Sex I don’t know about
[–]Erik-P99 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Selfie
[–]zeee1k 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Selfie - i can tell you lol
[–]mr_Tobbor 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When the SMV you have is a lot of greater than girl's it means your attainabillity is low and you have to do something about it.
I once went out with my school friends, and they had a female friend come with them. I didn't find her looking at me, or give any signals. So I started behaving my natural self (read dorky). Later, like a week or two, those guys told me she was asking about me, calling me handsome. So I think women suppress their feelings unlike us, for the fear of giving up the control over accepting or rejecting the person.
[–]sabsdog 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Post sefoe
[–]biglegros2 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you dont turn heads in public you’re not that attractive
[–]Ninnino07 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Posting a selfie sounds like a good idea!
[–]Insaneflirt_max 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That, or your verbal game is bad and your delivery is off.
[–]laeriel_c 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If people don't look/stare at you in public then you're not as good looking as you think. Please send a pic!
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]laeriel_c 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fair enough, it's just the fact you jumped to the conclusion that it's intimidation putting girls off made it seem like you thought of yourself as like super good looking that's all. It's a strange theory.
[–]leggoomyyyegooo1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Honestly, I’m not bad looking but anytime I see an attractive person I shy away- hate that I do that but it’s a inferiority thing I’d hope I’d grow out of.
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[–]mph99999 69 points70 points71 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mhotdemnot 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dageuse 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ejay1250 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SundaySermon 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fuudogg 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gim_san 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Joel504 10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]cardkid1234 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Joel504 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FJackxd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]parkmynuts 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xk17x 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]xk17x 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kzh83 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Averyashimself 8 points9 points10 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]SundaySermon 9 points10 points11 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Averyashimself 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]SundaySermon 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FJackxd 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Averyashimself 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FJackxd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SundaySermon 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zsuesques 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]addy16a2 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Radical899 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FJackxd 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Radical899 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FJackxd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dageuse 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]401kisfun 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Erik-P99 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]zeee1k [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mr_Tobbor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]addy16a2 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sabsdog 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]biglegros2 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ninnino07 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Insaneflirt_max 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]laeriel_c 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]laeriel_c 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]leggoomyyyegooo1 point [recovered] | Copy Link