Is detachment a very powerful seduction technique ?

norwegiandoggo · 2026-07-04T07:56:03+00:00

There are 3 "modes" of attachment. It's somewhat based on your personality:

Anxious, Avoidant, Secure.

Anxious = Fall for avoidant people and chase them. If you want an anxiously attached person, "detaching" ie. sometimes playing hard-to-get, or using push-pull strategies can be extremely effective. Anxious people are easily coaxed into chasing someone that doesn't seem 100% interested. They're like a rabbit chasing a carrot.

Avoidant = Are afraid of getting hurt, being vulnerable, or losing control. So they avoid. Often end up with anxious people. Because their constant chasing is flattering and goes someway to reduce their fear of getting hurt.

Secure = As the name implies, they are secure. And if you act push/pull or pull away, or act overly needy and anxious - they will typically reject / dump and move on to find another secure person. But they can also sometimes form relationships with anxious or avoidant types, and over time flip their partner into feeling secure.

The person who gave you that advice, is basically giving the advice "pretend to be an avoidant, and you can make a person chase you".

Except that they don't seem to understand that their advice will basically guarantee that you will only end up with anxiously attached people. It usually won't work on a secure individual that knows their worth.

IzzatQQDir · 2026-07-04T08:57:29+00:00

I'm anxious type but mature enough to not be with someone who plays this push pull game. If you like me and act like it, I will like you as intensely as my attachment style let me.

If you act distant, if I love you enough I might have a hard time forgetting you. But I will not stay with you.

But for seduction, it works for me. Because I tend to overthink everything

jsbach123 · 2026-07-04T07:54:54+00:00

What he's saying is, if you chase chicks, you're not gonna get laid.

Alternative_One_8039 · 2026-07-04T08:33:46+00:00

From the movie The Tao of Steve:

be desireless
be excellent
be gone

_psy_duck · 2026-07-04T08:38:35+00:00

i don't think it works,unless you have some sort of worth for her,

Key-Proud · 2026-07-04T14:35:17+00:00

In the streets lets say I gave you $100 for free. You will hesitate and ask me what is the catch?

- Most guys chasing girls letting them win just because they are a girl.

- Feels like a scam. Generate awkward moments.

- You will feel like I have a hidden agenda.

- How most guys behave around a hot girl. The hotter the girl is the more guys offering her free things without her earning it other than she is a hot girl.

- Just imagine how many awkward moments a girl experiences at a daily bases since she was 12 years old.... interacting with these guys.

- This is called being the seller.

Now let say "If you answer these 5 questions correctly ... you win $100." You wont hesitate to take the money because you felt like you earned.

- Seduction is you getting the girl to win you over.

- Girl is emotional invested into the interaction

- These guys are rare.

- This is called be the buyer not the seller.

JamesCruse · 2026-07-04T08:20:51+00:00

Yes, women don't want to be chased in the West - it's makes you look low-value.

Ideally, she has to FEEL like she's chasing you, even if she actually isn't or if she is - she needs to feel, see and acknowledge she's chasing you.

Too many women lose interest in men because she feels like she's being chased.

Moonlightmassage · 2026-07-04T14:45:13+00:00

She's not yours, it's just your turn. Always stay unattached no matter how much time passes.

Seen enough people married for a long time crash and burnwhen one partner thought things were good.

Jason__Hardon · 2026-07-05T22:30:53+00:00

Just be better than your target. They will come to you. That feeling of superiority is what makes you successfully detached because you legit don’t care and have higher standards

PuhCrusher6 · 2026-07-04T07:56:15+00:00

Excuse my english, i dont have auto correct on.

I think sometimes when we dont care if someone stays on ourlivs or not, they get intruged to chase. Some might think " they usually chase me!, why this one isnt?" And they get curious about you.

I don't think that applies to every girl but many, spicially the one likeminded will be (which is most of them lol). What i mean here to me it depeneds on the woman background, habits, life etc

Im still beginner, but that's just my humble understanding. Please correct me.

BeginningMatter9180 · 2026-07-04T15:38:33+00:00

yes this will sound very intellectual to you if you are maybe a 14 year old boy

Title	Is detachment a very powerful seduction technique ?
Author	__casanova_69
Upvotes	88
Comments	40
Date	July 4, 2026 7:45 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1un2ygb/is_detachment_a_very_powerful_seduction_technique/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-detachment-a-very-powerful-seduction-technique.1584223 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584223

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