Long time lurker, new born practitioner. So my question is how do you get passed the "I have a boyfriend" response or do you?

itsmevichet · 2013-08-08T14:03:23+00:00

felt there was more I could've and should've done

Maybe there was, but she already said "no."

You can debate that "I have a boyfriend" was a shit test, but this line, 90 percent of the time, just means she's not interested in you.

So, work on your game in general. You're asking about 1 girl in 1 bar in 1 situation. You should be looking at the big picture: out of the last 100 girls you talked to, how many were receptive?

You haven't talked to 100 girls? Get your ass moving.

throwawaynodos · 2013-08-08T17:09:37+00:00

To add to other comments, she's a bartender. That means she's paid to get along well with you like the two of you are as thick as thieves. It also means you're likely the 5 bajillionth person to ask for her number/ask her out this week.

It's not an easy thing to do to actually attract a bartender, but they can be great practice for general social skills, getting in state, helping you attract other girls, etc.

GrayFoxHops · 2013-08-08T17:50:52+00:00

She had already rejected you, don't push it. Your job is to game and generate attraction so that she doesn't reject you when you actually make a move. That said, bartenders are always supposed to be nice. Don't surround yourself with pillows. Talk to the unpredictable women around the bar. If the bartender smack talks you, throws a drink in your face, etc. she will get fired. Talk to the women that actually pose a risk because higher risk moves are the attractive ones.

I recently made a post about women who are hired to socialize with you, "hired guns." These include girls passing out energy drinks, bartenders, and girls at info booths. They will always be nice to you so they don't lose their job, and almost always they will politely reject you.

daddy01 · 2013-08-08T14:29:36+00:00

there are some good answers to this in http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hm22s/i_got_rejected_for_the_first_timefield_report/

rsnewcity · 2013-08-08T16:20:55+00:00

So I have this weird situation, maybe someone can give me some advice.

I've been sort of flirting with this girl for about a week and a half, and we had a very romantic date last week. However, I had trouble escalating. I found opportunities for kino but she didn't reciprocate.

Of course, there's a back-story. She is currently breaking up with a previous boyfriend. I know this because she keeps mentioning it. However, she seems to be having a hard time letting go, she doesn't want to just dump him, yet here she is going on dates with me. She has in fact been the one instigating it, which is why I think there's some real attraction here.

However, I don't really want to enable her cheating, if that's what she is doing, so I am trying to be clear that this is a problem for me, saying things like "i really think you should tell him. Just do it you'll feel better." (Note that the fact that she hasn't responded to my advances tells me she's not really a cheater at heart, which is one of the reasons I maintain interest. I think she's attracted to me but does not want to cheat.)

But anyways, this seems to be really bothering her, and it's blocking us from moving forward. I'm almost ready to just give up and treat her as a friend, but I really like this girl and would love to see things move forward for us.

I am seeing her again tonight in a more party environment, which should loosen things up I hope, but I'm afraid she won't be receptive if I try anything. Anyways, we'll see how it goes.

I have a feeling the seddit advice will be "just forget her and move on." She has too many hang-ups, it's just not the right time in her life for "us," which I can accept. I'm almost there, but if there's anything I can do to help "unblock" her I'd love to know what it is.

hmmnonono · 2013-08-08T23:52:31+00:00

Well in this specific example you should have moved on, the other replies explained it already.

In other situations, if a girl if flirting hard with you and later when you try to escalate she drops the boyfriend line, you might still be able to push through with some persistence. The idea being that if she's flirting that much with you, she's not really that serious about the boyfriend and will jump ship if you give her a good enough reason. That said, it's not exactly the most ethical thing to do. I'm not advocating that you do it, just saying that it's possible.

1vibe · 2013-08-09T04:17:26+00:00

My favorites are along the lines of: "I don't mind......" or "I'm very discreet" "Thats OK, So do my girlfriends" "Then why are you hitting on me?" "Whoa! Get your mind out of the gutter girl, I just want to go xxxxxxxx!" In general I completely ignore boyfriend comments, I do believe that mostly they are shit tests and HB8+ always have some guy they are seeing. Like just keep talking for a few minutes and ask again.... Monday night I had my favorite keep telling me she was in a committed relationship but still we wound up kissing, grinding, and she even squeezed my Johnson a few times. But mind you, I'm a newbie

One_Mat_Army · 2013-08-10T03:03:31+00:00

Thats a shit test. If she had a boyfriend that she wasnt willing to trade off (dat hypergamy) she wouldnt be entertaining you.

Press on - her having a boyfriend is her hurdle, not your roadblock.

Edit: this applies to normal women, not bartenders at work.

MajinCatface · 2013-08-08T08:15:10+00:00

Stop fucking bothering employees as, a manager this shit pisses me off so much. Almost every employee that this happens to come to me ask me to do something because they are creaped out. Knock it the fuck off.

Phelanthropy · 2013-08-08T14:26:34+00:00

"Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

"...and soccer has a goalie..."

2013-08-08T14:53:49+00:00

This situation sounds like she just wasn't interested. When it's genuinely a shit test just dismiss it with something playful like "so do I, he's big and has this great big beard and waxed moustache, if he saw us he'd be very angry you've been flirting this much with me" and then laugh. There are hundreds of canned lines you can find to brush past it, but if she's been giving you IOIs all night then you can brush past it most of the time by simply not caring.

XeroMotivation · 2013-08-10T07:59:16+00:00

Possibly a shit test.

Her: I have a boyfriend
You: Is he bigger than me?

Title	Long time lurker, new born practitioner. So my question is how do you get passed the "I have a boyfriend" response or do you?
Author	Sploosh_Mcgoo
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	August 8, 2013 7:13 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jxxwe/long_time_lurker_new_born_practitioner_so_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/long-time-lurker-new-born-practitioner-so-my.1356564 https://theredarchive.com/post/1356564

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