Man....wtf is wrong with me.

napalmx · 2011-01-17T22:51:58+00:00

First off, I like posts like this a lot more than the "FUCKED 5 GIRLS IN 5 MINUTES. LIFE IS SWEET" field reports. Not to knock those guys but I learn a lot more from these and they tend to help give me perspective on my own life by writing about this stuff.

Stop settling for women who are below you (looks wise). Most guys do this at some point and it does more harm for your self esteem than good. The reason these women aren't getting back to you is because they can tell you don't want to be there and you think she is below you. There's science behind this too; women are a lot better at reading non-verbal clues than men are. Women hate rejection even more than men, thus why these trainwrecks aren't getting back to you.

As a rule, only go after women you are definitely physically attracted to. It'll boost your self esteem and you won't end up like these guys who you see walking around the mall holding hands with a girl they are definitely more attractive than. My rule is, would I be embarrassed to be seen in public with this person?

ianandris · 2011-01-18T00:32:56+00:00

Talk to everyone. This is the part I'm stuck at. I know I need to do it if I want results, but I've still got too much AA. I've been doing the same kind of thing you have. Going on dates just to go on dates. Talking to girls who I'm less interested in simply for the practice. It's been a good tool, and I think you're on the right track, even though it's not where you picture yourself being.

Just keep working at it. Since reading seddit and other shit its linked to, I've noticed my confidence level has increased dramatically. This is the more important thing. It's only a matter of time before my level of confidence overwhelms my AA. I know what the hangup is, though. It's my achilles heel as an moderate value, intorverted individual, but I know it's the only way:

Talk. To. Everyone. Make them feel good.

One of the things I love about the PUA community is that, just like the way you present yourself to women to fill a need, there's material out there tailored to the difficulties YOU struggle with. Here's a site, article I've found useful recently:

http://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/blog/get-the-girl-how-to-get-a-girlfriend/

One of the lines that kinda drove the point home for me:

Think about how much less stress you’d feel if your only intent is to make yourself smile while interacting with a hot waitress, as opposed to the pressure of trying to get her to like you? Much less pressure and way better payoff

Couple this idea with the idea of talking to everyone, and you've got a recipe for self development that will make you one charming motherfucker.

But fact is, you've got to do the work. Again, I'm in the same boat. I may not have the awesome job or the degrees (I've got some college and a job that keeps my head above water) but I'm military and pretty good looking (as far as beautiful bald motherfuckers go), so I get where you're coming from. This should be easy. But the real limitation here is myself. Same for you. We are our own worst enemies. This shit works, but it doesn't work if we don't apply it.

I understand your frustration. I'm right there, too. But, there's a way forward, we just have to take the fucking steps.

unsexyMF · 2011-01-17T22:50:40+00:00

Why are you going on dates with girls you don't find attractive? Have you been escalating kino? Do you have any interest in any of these girls that's more than sexual? Where are you meeting women? What's keeping you from being in a good mood? Have you considered seeing a therapist?

AngledLuffa · 2011-01-18T00:18:04+00:00

I know I know, I wasn't into her to begin with, but it annoys me that she is no longer into me. It's like, what the fuck could have gone wrong?

If you don't care then don't care. Do you want to know when you'll start having success? When you stop caring about rejection, when you stop caring about consequences (be responsible still!), when you stop caring about an individual date with a girl you've already decided you don't like anyway.

Also, you've mistaken "funny" for "being an asshole".

frogma · 2011-01-17T22:32:58+00:00

Go out and put this shit into practice. Internalize the attitude, the confidence, and some of the information here. It works, so go out and do it. And I'd suggest re-reading the sidebar, and other seduction materials, because it doesn't seem like they've had any effect on you yet. But more importantly, go talk to people everywhere. Flirt with girls, get more dates and experience.

meta4one · 2011-01-18T01:36:29+00:00

FACE the FEAR. It's all in your head man, get out of your confort zone. If your ackward on a date, say fuck it im going to be ackward. If you can't think of anything to say, just talk about nothing.... "Hey how about this table cloth huh?". If you feel like a loser, cuss it's your "self-talk"/internal dialogue ... keep that shit in your head, and try to push it to the back. It's not nessesarily the truth or even how she sees the situation or what she may be thinking.

Most important thing on a date is just keep moving forward. If you want more, try for more. If you wish you could kiss her, give it a shot. The worst thing you can do is stall out with no progress. This gives the impression there is nothing more that can or will develope between you two. Some girls with give you a bunch of chances past this point, some wont unless you try with newly inspired vigor.

Fight through the doubt and ackwardness and you'll come out on top. You'll be fine.

porphyry3 · 2011-01-17T23:27:07+00:00

You should go out with women to have fun during the process. At least initially, dont be result oriented, dont go out to prove yourself. That's the worst frame possible.

alexryane · 2011-01-18T14:28:51+00:00

Always pay. I know people say "I can get a girl to pay for me and still end up with her sucking my dick 2 hours later". Doesn't matter, just pay, its part of being a guy. If she seriously wants to pay, let her get the next thing or whatever, but just make sure you try and pay. It might not get you laid but its a nice thing to do.
Maybe 10-20% of girls I've met I can say my conversation with them comes as easily as with one of my good friends. I don't hook up with random women because of conversation, I hook up because I want fuck buddies. If I wanna have an intellectual conversation I will talk to someone I already know.
If you're in a bad mood, move the date. If you can't think of anything to say, think of things before you go out. Conversation between new people doesn't always flow easily, its not like a movie. Sometimes you have to chat complete shit for 15 minutes before an interesting thread of conversation starts.

fragglemook · 2011-01-18T00:22:06+00:00

What's wrong is your bad attitude. Nothing more.

glassuser · 2011-01-18T00:39:05+00:00

I'll end this post with something funny. A black guy and a jewish guy jump off the empire state building, who hits the ground first? . . . . Who gives a shit. Heyyoo.

Says it all. You're beat down before you meet her. Go out, find a fat slutty chick you find cute, and fuck her brains out. You might try to think your way around it after the fact, but it will still give you a confidence boost. Do it a couple more times, and you'll feel less pressure to perform on a date. Move up from there.

JMac87 · 2011-01-18T00:46:56+00:00

I'm in the same boat there buddy! I get told all the time that I'm a good looking guy, I have a well-paying job, I drive a nice car, I have my own place and I keep it looking spiffy...but I can't for the life of me get a date with a decent looking girl that isn't crazy or already has a boyfriend.

It's very frustrating...but I keep at it.

alexryane · 2011-01-18T05:21:13+00:00

Out of interest, could you link to a pic of a girl you'd consider a 3, 4, 5 or 6? I have no way to judge your scale.

vs_model · 2011-01-18T12:34:06+00:00

You didn't pay for her meal. That pretty much said "hmm yea I have no interest in your beyond this point." Also, if you had no interest in going on the date then why go?

I don't want to come across mean but you seem to being giving over a bit of a dick vibe to these girls. Lighten up, crack a stupid cheesy cute joke, relate to what the girl is saying with a story of your own on the same topic and yea SMILE MORE. If she's telling you to smile more you may want to do it. It usually means to her you're coming across as disinterested in her or the date.

johnnyshotgun · 2011-01-18T13:05:54+00:00

yup its cause the chicks are ugly. you feel no investment to want to seduce them

grab your balls and go for the hotties

mPUA_2B · 2011-01-18T22:27:12+00:00

What has happened when you approach / date 7s, 8s, 9s?

subheight640 · 2011-01-17T22:54:46+00:00

You're bringing the wrong attitude to the date. Seriously, don't let yourself be controlled by your petty emotions. There are so many techniques to manipulate yourself into the kind of state you want to be in.... you have much more reading and practice to do...

2011-01-18T05:11:41+00:00

Stop talking to ugly women. Seriously, stop it. When I was first starting out I would talk to average looking girls thinking it would be easier and I could boost my confidence that way. You know what I learned?

Ugly women don't like good looking guys to talk to them. They know that nothing good will come from this interaction (either he just wants sex or something else).

I always do much better with 7s 8s and 9s. They respond well to me and like to flirt with me. I have never ever ever ever met an ugly/average girl that I enjoyed talking to for even one second. Put that in your little pipe and smoke it.

Title	Man....wtf is wrong with me.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	28
Date	January 17, 2011 10:18 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/f41qi/manwtf_is_wrong_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/manwtf-is-wrong-with-me.1314604 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314604

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