Mental purgatory going out solo

Smitty-TBR2430 · 2022-08-20T05:58:18+00:00

Unless you’re planning to sit at the bar for a few hours with a guy (or group of guys), the objective is NOT to carry conversation.

My objective was to find an attractive woman, introduce myself, & convince her to leave with me. Quickly. I dunno what YOUR objective is; but if it’s to have a evening-long conversation, you’re missing the little man in the boat.

My advice is to learn how to “read the room”. Learn how to identify the girls who are there to drink, dance, party, snort a line, … the ones who are there with their BF / husband… and learn to spot the solo gal who’s there to get some dick.

I’d recommend you go to some different bars or clubs just for the sake of watching & learning. Sit off to the side & watch. See if you can identify the guys who are looking to party, the guys who are “a couple”, and the guys who are seriously looking to hook-up. Nurse a drink or 2 slowly, watch, & learn. See what works & what doesn’t.

Unfair-Ad-11 · 2022-08-20T03:54:34+00:00

So maybe try some other establishments. Look this isn’t the cure to social anxieties. It’s more just a stepping stone to follow up conversation. Stepping outside of your comfort zone could be helpful. It’s not comfortable and I know it firsthand however, the upside is that if things get awkward you can walk away knowing it’s not your regular haunt and you likely won’t see the people there again. Biggest take away for my anxiety is to start to see people as your equal, no matter who they are or what their position in life is. We’re all sea monkeys spinning on a pebble around a star. In the scheme of things none of us matter and this is all completely irrelevant and insignificant. No human is any better than the next. Just cosmic shit and at the end of the day when I’m overwhelmed with overthinking everything I remind myself of that simple fact. COSMIC CRAP !! Good luck….

Unfair-Ad-11 · 2022-08-20T03:33:08+00:00

Food is the universal language and a language of love. Plus every living person has an opinion on it. Here’s a simple trick, dive bars serve food right ? So next time order your drink and ask to see a menu. If the bartender is attractive then try her/him. However, sit close enough to someone else so that you can ask what’s good here. Then share an account you had with that item elsewhere. It’s not 100% but you’d be amazed how much people like to talk about food. Anyhow, that simple exchange with someone makes it easier to move into further conversations. Hope this helps.

texaspete3 · 2022-08-20T14:24:03+00:00

If you are going solo , go to a club. Usually clubs are so loud and disorienting no one is going to notice if you're alone.

But if you are at a bar, and you're the one not talking to anyone , people will notice right away, and it won't be good for you.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-08-20T07:22:23+00:00

Here an idea. Why don’t you just relax, hang out and enjoy the scenery without any expectation of the outcome. You might be surprised

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-20T13:51:30+00:00

Watch the whole thing https://youtu.be/izS1TkECG5A

epimpstyle · 2022-08-20T11:18:45+00:00

If you want to approach someone, you must be in a talkative mode, if you are going alone on the streets it is super-difficult to ask a question to a stranger. Maybe you can enter in this talkative mode if you listen to some music or maybe if you sing a song on the street (you will look like a crazy guy) but it should work.

If you go on the streets together with your friends, all of you are talking, laughing etc... it is peace of cake to talk to a stranger.

Do consider that if you decide to talk to someone or not is only in your mind because the other person doesn't know what you want to do - nobody can read minds. If you don't talk to a girl but you look at her from time to time, it is weird, she will feel uncomfortable, you look like a shy person or maybe even worse - you will look like a pervert because she can not understand why you don't say anything to her. Do you know what she will do when she meets her friends? She will talk about you to your friends that you looked at her and she was afraid.

I remember a day when we were at KFC and a friend of mine went to a girl who sit down at a table and he said something like this: "excuse me, I hope I have not scared you by looking at you so often... but you look very nice with this hat, I just wanted to know that you are ok..." The girl was very open and she even told him that she texted her friends to hurry up to meet her because she is not feeling safe and she wants to leave :-) It was no phone number exchange, nothing... but it was a few minutes of nice talking with a gorgeous girl.

Title	Mental purgatory going out solo
Author	Day9125
Upvotes	12
Comments	15
Date	August 20, 2022 3:23 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wswz3l/mental_purgatory_going_out_solo/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/mental-purgatory-going-out-solo.1251635 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251635

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