My most vulnerable post here so far

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2026-05-09T01:14:02+00:00

Uh yeah welcome to the game lol. I try to tell the guys who can't approach and live in this giant vacuum of fear and pain and overanalysis that it literally becomes addictive.

I've known tons of guys who got hardcore addicted to it. Didn't do anything else. Guys who ended up broke and homeless because they didn't want to do anything besides pick up girls. It's the most addictive thing in the world. And your biology is wired to seek it out to pass on your genes, so nothing else matters.

For me I have to temper myself. I go through stages where I indulge. Months at a time. But come out of the haze to work on my business and make money for months at a time too.

Typically that means locking myself away from the world and focusing on work. I work totally from my computer so I can do that. I have a rotation in the meantime but don't see any new girls. Even then, it takes about two weeks for me to lock into it and really get game off my mind. You have to force yourself to care about other things.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-05-09T05:27:36+00:00

A few things can help. Ego death, which means working on seeing everything as one thing. The power of Now is a stepping stone book for that.

Finding joy in completing projects and shifting your values around so that completing stuff would be where you get most of your dopamine. For example, you could make a short film about something cool. That entails lots of learning, which is fun, problem-solving and thinking about it, which takes attention away from women. Yeah, maybe you'll be filming something for women, but that's just the end result of it, it doesn't take away your power and simply motivates you, which is where you want it to be.

For people like us, finding one chick will never work. You're a sexual man and it's truthful to you to express your sexuality with lots of women. You will just get unhappy in a monogamous relationship. I'd rather have a longterm relationship with a girl that likes threesomes with other girls. So that's another little project you can take upon. But that doesn't answer your question, so ignore this for now and focus on other fine things in life like becoming a creator and changing the world around you through your business and art.

HomelessMilkman · 2026-05-09T07:46:41+00:00

I've always had a holistic idea of 'game'. Being relaxed, being outgoing, charismatic and fun, getting 10x the positive attention everyone else gets, is all the effect of having a regulated nervous system. That's all, but put lightly.

The thing is, external results are a SMALL FRACTION of how awesome it is to feel good internally ALL THE TIME. What you get back is NEVER close to the consistent fulfilment you find within.

I never post these results, I never post about 'how cool I am'; firstly, it's irrelevant for you - secondly, it's self-qualifying and what you think about me is irrelevant to me; though, most importantly, it's 2%. Women thinking I'm cool and attractive after seeing me for 5 minutes is a small kink in how effective I am 24 hours a day. It absolutely does not register as impressive to me, which is the point. That's the 'goal'.

Effectively, everything you said is tension and overcompensating to find 'safety' and 'reassurance' in the environment. Again, deregulated nervous system, point one. It's all ONE thing, it's always ever been about one thing. The 'issue' is that you're trying to manage what's inside through all of this external shit which is the same circular movement that brings you back to the basic information of "Don't look for validation"; the limit of how much safety, security, reassurance, external reinforcement gives you.

The reality is, it's a scale. You can look for validation, you can have deeply entrenched negative habits and get away with it because the women you're talking to are no better, you still look like a saint. It's relative.

Results are obviously a strong sign of progress, but the ultimate destination is 'having no attachments or aversions' - being relaxed, comfortable, present, attentive, regardless of the circumstances. For your own benefit. Instead of 'doing something', you have to be comfortable not doing something; my initial advice is the opposite, you have to be comfortable not doing something to do something - don't carry that angst, tension, anxiety into the interaction - but regardless you shouldn't carry that shit at all.

Whether you can effectively manage the environment, build 'social momentum' or not, it's still a crutch - yes, I did use that crutch - but there's a point you graduate and realise that "Taking so much action it shuts of the thinking mind" and so on is a bit convoluted.

howtobemisha · 2026-05-09T10:35:04+00:00

I have a friend in another city and every time I met with him, 98% of the dialog he talks about women. It is super annoying 😁

saulisdating · 2026-05-10T08:12:19+00:00

Another dating coach here.

This is called obsession. And frankly, it has to do with self-esteem because you still, even after all this success, feel the need to prove something. Either to yourself or others. It’s the classic case of “not enough” no matter how good you have it. And it’s why, for example, billionaires become even more obsessed with hoarding riches and getting more money once they’re filthy rich.

You should read up on self esteem. It’s what helped me personally get over such issues and just chill and enjoy my life.

If you haven’t already read it, start with The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem book by Nathaniel Branden. It’s what set me on the path of healthy self esteem and teaching it to others.

Have a good one bro

Edit: Oh and funny enough, once you get deep into self esteem you’ll realize the vast majority of guys who are terrible with women have shitty self esteem. And now it’s one of the first things I work on with my clients because it’s the foundation of everything else. You’ll be a better dating coach if you get into this deeper as well, I promise.

Kylearean · 2026-05-09T00:45:19+00:00

When I "mastered" the game, I could have sex with a different woman every night of the week. It was trivial. At first I felt like a god. I knew exactly what to say, how to escalate, how to close... it was so easy. It's like when you play a hard game, but find the cheat codes, so your victories seem hollow, and there's nothing to show except for a string of meaningless sex from women that you didn't even remember their names most of the time.

So I quit completely, settled down, got married, had kids, house in the suburbs etc. There's times when I miss the thrill of it, but I think I'm far better off mentally without.

ChaseMcDude927 · 2026-05-09T02:04:20+00:00

Yeah mate, I’ve been in the same boat for a hot second.

I deleted my socials, and literally went celibate for like 3 months. Realized I was just trying to fill a hole in myself that I could never quite fill, and by continuing to game daily, it just kept getting deeper (validation/insecurity loop).

Making me realize how endless and vapid it all feels. There will always be a hotter, cooler chick, and it’ll never be enough. Same reason why suddenly becoming a millionaire doesn’t often leave people feeling happy or fulfilled.

No surprise at all, but not focusing on game and literally expecting nothing from the women around me (my coworkers atm) has made them a lot more interested in me.

But finding one chick to settle down with, with brains and heart, is where the real treasure is at. I think that’s the conclusion guys in our shoes eventually come to at the end of their journey.

For me personally, I’m also still trying to figure out my true purpose, career, and long term living situation. If I meet someone amazing along the way, sick. But losing sight of everything else important in sole pursuit of that is getting real old.

Best of luck friend.

Edit: Tl;dr, literally just stop gaming for a while and see how you feel.

MaxBrujo · 2026-05-09T21:14:02+00:00

Explore the nature of desire according to Buddhist teachings and reflect on what is it that you're trying to fill or cloak with that compulsive behaviour.

Sorry-Place6291 · 2026-05-10T21:46:54+00:00

I go back and forth with it. I’m not obsessed with game but definitely a dopamine head and usually want to have a good time.

At this point in time in my life I think it’s about riding the wave. For me, too much time in monk mode wouldn’t fulfill me at this time. But it’s good for a reset and to come in back to the game with a slightly fresher perspective. If you find peace and want to change or try change then go for it. It’s your life dawg

Elegant-Wolf-12 · 2026-05-09T04:45:09+00:00

Kudos! You’re absolutely right! It’s addictive but hollow. The satisfaction becomes the idea that you did the thing, not the actual thing. Like you’re keeping score. But what’s the point, if not the experience?

And meanwhile, you’re not building anything too much— no long term relationships, no kids, no home. You’ve got a business that’s doing alright. That’s great! Can you imagine yourself doing the coaching while in a long term relationship? How would that look? Begin to imagine it.

Because you’re in a great spot. You always see it. The issue is an identity that you’ve formed. Perhaps as a sex master, or seduction guru, or whatever. And the reason you’ve got that built up as something hard is because you wanted protection. Protection from what? From some shame, some insecurity.

Really look at the identity, whatever it is. You know what it is, very well. What vulnerability is it protecting? Then go into the vulnerability, feeling out its contours. Be kind to yourself, but also clear and honest.

My most vulnerable post here so far

Need Advice From Experienced Guys in Game / Dating

Comments

Title	My most vulnerable post here so far
Author	AlvaroUrdaneta
Upvotes	10
Comments	24
Date	May 8, 2026 11:45 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1t7omrf/my_most_vulnerable_post_here_so_far/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-most-vulnerable-post-here-so-far.1579942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579942