Need advice. Regret and being bold

Ok-Shock8867 · 2024-05-16T03:03:06+00:00

Simple framing:

I regret every move I didn't make over the years.

I regret no move that I ACTUALLY made over the years. Some were PAINFUL. But I don't regret them.

You already live in a state of regret from not making moves? Well then. You know you regret that. Have you tried the other path? Make moves from here on out.

Why regret taking a chance? You collapsed a "what if" to a certain reality. Rejection hurts, but you won't regret taking your shot.

Mysterious_Pickle_78 · 2024-05-16T04:45:42+00:00

Read "too late, mate" by Alex forest. He is a 46 year old daygame.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-05-16T07:37:00+00:00

I do not regret much. Regret makes you stuck in life.

If you missed out on a girl recently well there's more of that. I am a man I do not entertain weakness.

Think abundantly about life.

There is no past or future just the present. The now.

rydogs · 2024-05-16T06:50:35+00:00

I have so many more regrets about not trying or sharing my feelings than getting rejected.

Actually, listen to this Garfunkel and Oates song, it’s funny and kind of sad but does a great job explaining this kind of thing:

https://youtu.be/m_JI5cqakIU?si=AROf5R7uizsg35PI

FrederickVonFanculen · 2024-05-16T12:03:29+00:00

Being bold is nothing amazing like you might think, it won't change your life like some gurus say. For example you might be extremely bold and get rejected 100/100 times. So...

MrPuzzled · 2024-05-16T16:36:04+00:00

Way too much time on your hands for all that. You gotta get out of your mind on that. Regret is a waste of time.

Every day is a wonderful gift to get better. Can you do a 100 push-ups? They literally have apps for that called 100 pushups that train you little by little.

You need these little victories. You need awesome hobbies and habits. Learn to dress better. Workout and get fit. Start learning communication and convo skills. Learn charisma. Learn and apply develop confidence and an abundance mindset.

You’re living such a cool life you barely need to approach. They approach you. But when you do approach you’re ready. You’re not approaching for “sex” you’re approaching because “hey I thought you’re cute and want to meet you…” you have no end game in this you’re just out meeting beautiful girls cause it’s fun. “Well, I’m gonna grab your digits and we’re gonna do something fun, you down?”

Welcome to life 2.0

Zealousideal_Part881 · 2024-05-16T16:54:34+00:00

Honestly, I think your mindset needs a little reframing. Obviously rejection can wound the ego making it harder to want to put yourself out there again in the future but here are some ideas that kind of helped me get over that:

1. Rejection is a part of life. Everyone experiences rejection at one point or another, and frankly I think it builds character. Trying something and getting a less than satisfactory response is a learning experience that helps you do better the next time around. I mean practice makes progress, right? If you never try you'll never get good at being able to take control of your life and making efforts towards the things that you want.

2. Rejection is protection. Whether you're spiritual, religious, or don't believe in anything at all I think this is a good philosophy for anyone to follow. If I apply for a job and get rejected I'll be bummed out for a second and then ultimately decide that it wasn't the right job for me. If I'm getting to know someone that I'm interested in romantically and they don't reciprocate those feelings I'll be bummed out about it but then ultimately realize that they aren't right for me. Think of it this way, everyone wants a mutual connection but if the person you're interested in doesn't feel the same way then why dwell on it? They did you a favor because now you know they weren't what you were looking for either (someone who feels for you what you feel for them). Again, it sucks and everyone can relate but I don't see a point in dwelling on it. Know what you want and know that if someone rejects you then they weren't in line with what you want and thus, they did you a favor.

3. Rejection isn't the end. If you're getting to know someone romantically and they don't reciprocate your feelings but you still have a friendly relationship with them then be their friend! Quick disclaimer: I'm not saying to be their friend in the hopes that they'll change their mind down the line; that's creepy and weird so always take no for an answer. Rather, I think it's important for people to be able to be friends with people of the opposite sex (especially if you're attracted to the opposite sex) and especially if you find them attractive. This teaches you to see people you're attracted to as people first rather than potential romantic/sexual partners, which is actually something that can help you attract someone you're interested in. Speaking as a woman, women and girls are sexualized and objectified from the moment they're born so it's refreshhing to come across someone who will see us as a person with complex thoughts and emotions rather than an array of attractive body parts. Another thing to keep in mind is that if things don't work out with someone you find attractive who's to say they don't have attractive single friends that might be more of a match?

All in all, don't let something that people experience every day hold you back from experiencing life, life is meant to be lived!

Good luck :))

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-16T16:55:12+00:00

Past doesn't matter. But you should stop getting rejected if that's your biggest fear. Why do men get rejected? Because they approach women already wanting something from them.

Think about it, nobody can reject you if you don't want something from them or if you don't offer yourself up. That's why guys have so many issues with women. You approach having already made up your mind that you want to fuck her or at least get her number, have her like you, etc. It's a literal stranger, you probably spend more time deciding what you want to eat for lunch, but you see a cute face or a nice rack and all of a sudden "I have to have her at all costs, the stakes have never been higher, so if she rejects me, my mental state and self esteem will be crushed for the rest of my life."

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-16T17:11:58+00:00

Therapy might be the right step here.

You will get rejected by a lot of women if you're bold. You'll also get more women by being bold.

It's the Ying and the Yang. You need both.

dobbs1997 · 2024-05-18T05:36:08+00:00

If you feel regretful for being bold and courageous then it’s like you were only doing it for a specific outcome and not just because…..

ROBYoutube · 2024-05-16T02:44:52+00:00

Is that what you'd regret? Not hitting on women? Not constantly going after desire?

I'm going to do something unusual and recommend a book. It's not a long read, and I think it might help you. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

You've probably heard of him. He was a literal emperor. He could do literally anything. Experience anything that could be imagined in the entire world. The entire populace at his command. Armies loyal to him. What would you do with so much power? Think about that, then have a read when you get the time.

Whole_Day9866 · 2024-05-16T03:00:40+00:00

I'm going to say this, man. I'm not sure how you take it, but I'll say it.

Stop being a bitch! Self pittying because you're a pussy. 'OH I'm a loser because I didn't talk to her' get the fuck over it and grow some balls and make the move. If you get rejected, who tf cares? You're still alive and have a chance to try again. The self loathing shit will not get you anywhere, make a fucking move and stop asking reddit to grow the balls for you.

xcoreflyup · 2024-05-16T04:21:12+00:00

Start small.

Say hi to some stranger.

Next step, try small talk to some random stranger

Next step, key here, hit on girls you dont find attracted to. If she rejects you, it is literally a big fat of "Oh Okay".

Most guys only talk action when they see the girls they are attracted to.

Thats literally like you going to learn how to zero a gun while you are clearing room.

uknwnfck · 2024-05-16T02:50:23+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I often regret not being bold or not making a move. For example, I met this girl this past weekend, talked with her for hours at a graduation party. Got her number and all that but the thing is she was just visiting my city for the weekend. All my friends said I could’ve easily made out with her at least but I just never know how to initiate the first move.

Title	Need advice. Regret and being bold
Author	BlacBlood
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	May 16, 2024 2:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ct2gf0/need_advice_regret_and_being_bold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-advice-regret-and-being-bold.1518614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518614

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