Not sure how to manage post hinge date.

FearInoculumTool · 2026-02-01T13:28:19+00:00

Way too much interest. You have to learn to be a bit deliciously cruel and let women stew in uncertainty for a bit.

Repeat after me: WOMEN NEVER WANT WHAT THEY CAN GET AND ONLY WANT WHAT THEY CAN’T GET.

Here are some things that make you WHAT THEY CAN GET:

Overcommunicating, too much and too often, having deep conversations on a first date, trying to put your hands all over too soon, not doing anything to screen her, trying too hard to prove yourself to her, talking about the future with you two together, hinting how available you are, or showing through your actions that you are way too available (see overcommunicating), and in general being needy, smitten with her and so on and so forth.

Here are things that make WHAT SHE CAN’T GET:

Knowing exactly what you want and screening her for those things, asking questions around the things you want to screen her for, pulling away from her with your body language and demeanor, but also words, such as teasing her a bit, or if she says something you don’t agree with “ooof, I’m not sure this is going to work out, Bianca, I’m a huge Patriots fan” or whatever. Sometimes this can be used in a playful teasing way, but sometimes you can be serious, if for example she says she wants to wait for marriage. Not signaling your availability and actually signaling your unavailability, such as ending the date after a couple of hours, being ambiguous and shady about your plans, behaving like you have a lot of options with women, and like you are the one who is vetting her for having access to you, under communicating, being ambiguous about whether she will hear back from you or not, an when, telling her things like “I need time to get to know a woman and once I get to know her I might not even want to sleep with her”, or if she asks you why you haven’t had a relationship in a while, responding with “well, i just haven’t yet met someone who would make me want to give up my freedom and who is a net positive to my life.” Now that makes you a challenge!

Read through those and mull them over for a bit.

random_question4123 · 2026-02-01T12:41:29+00:00

You need to take more charge, you’re the man. First you ask her when she wants to see you and she already told you Thursday evening, then you ask her what time within Thursday evening she wants to see you. What’s next, you ask her where she’ll like to see you?

She already told you Thursday evening. Plan an evening event, and then tell her where she’ll be seeing you.

It’s really not difficult.

richtofen_1 · 2026-02-01T11:24:24+00:00

Monday evening text her, “hey we still good for thursday?” That’s it. Don’t over explain, etc.

ThrowRA_fajsdklfas · 2026-02-01T13:42:23+00:00

This is my go to after a date and it avoids ever putting myself in this situation if you’re into this girl.

Right after the date: “Hope you got home safe, had a great time, would love to do it again.”

Her: “Just got home and I had a good time as well, would love that” or “I had a great time, but to be honest I’m not feeling much of a spark between us…” or on the very rare case she goes ghost. I think saying you hope she got home safe portrays you as being a kind person and they feel compelled to respond. I’ve probably only ever had one person never respond after that text.

The next day I’ll text her: If the above is positive, “Hey so about that date, what’s your schedule look like this week?”

Her: “Hey there, I’m free x, y, z”

Me: You don’t want to pick a date way out there or too early, emotions fade, online dating brings other options. “Great, let’s aim for x! We’ll iron out the details later.”

I usually aim for 4-5 days after the first date for a reason.

Day 1: This is the date, send the text as soon as you get home from it hoping she gets home safe.

Day 2: The next day I ask for her schedule for the second date.

Day 3: Third day I’ll specify the schedule but not the location.

Day 4: Fourth day the location.

Day 5: On the day of the date, I’ll text her when I expect to be done either with work or plan to head over.

The other advantage of this is that I’m still keeping her thinking of me with very little effort until the next date versus actually trying to keep her entertained via text.

I’m not a fan of texting early on as it leaves your personality open to interpretation. She may read something you texted as offensive, not funny, or in the wrong light. Being able to talk in person is far more important. I’ll usually banter, joke texting or send funny stuff after the second date. I tend to joke a lot so it can get me in trouble depending on how they read my text.

Which brings up second date and texting after. I always listen to things they like and don’t like. I dated a girl once that ate very healthy and didn’t eat sugar. Told her I absolutely loved sugar and cookies.

She said she loved cookies as well and does sugar free ones. I playfully teased about how it doesn’t taste the same and her palette is no longer refined like the sugar she doesn’t eat.

Needless to say, this opened me to texting her a photo at the grocery store of sugar free cookies and normal ones. “Not sure if I want to take a chance on the fake ones.” Of course that opened her up to being playful about it because it’s something we previously joked and laughed about.

Now imagine sending that text to someone you never joked about it with in person? There’s the potential for it to be read as you being snobby, mean, or pretentious. When in reality, you’re just playfully teasing. Slowly build up texting more with more dates. Less is more early on.

gentle_beast_1179 · 2026-02-01T11:56:10+00:00

You shoud have suggested a time not leave it for her to offer one. She could adjust if not good for her. Asking her to essentially coordinate the date for you is making her delay.

You're massively overthinking her responses either way. She is being friendly but guarded which is sensible, you're taking it as rejection. She will warm if you don't make her feel uncomfortable.

Nizmo-_- · 2026-02-01T11:40:55+00:00

Honestly it’s probably dead man it’s best to mentally move on, I would respond just as dry as she did or not at all, something like “sleeping does count! (: “ if she wants to see you again she will give you a time and date and she will reach out to you. Seems like she’s just playing with you, either play back or leave her on read, I would do the second one. Good luck bro!

Charge36 · 2026-02-01T16:26:00+00:00

You ask too many boring questions and aren't very assertive. You already have a time for this date. Thursday evening. You can figure out a specific time the day before or the morning of.

People don't always respond to every single thing you mentioned in a text and that's normal. Not everything needs response.

If you wanted to keep messaging there's plenty you could say. "Yes of course sleeping counts :)"

I would definitely not ask for the time and justify it with "I have to plan my week". fuck dude your a potential boyfriend not her dentist. Just hit her up the day before with something like "so for tomorrow I'm thinking drinks at x bar at 7:00 p.m.. sound good?"

MercurialAssassn · 2026-02-01T20:25:12+00:00

Man, you are overthinking it. She is not as invested as you, but that doesn't mean is over. She already told shes interested in anothe date. The only thing you just need to do is tell her time and place. To be fair, your last conversation wasn't interesting nor emotional charged, it was just needy of her validation, so its normal that she put a closure. Don't worry, just text her 1 or 2 days before the date. And remember: don't be needy nor to agreeable, that turns them off. Tease her, trigger her emotions. Good luck, man!

spontaneousvibration · 2026-02-02T04:58:09+00:00

Tomorrow (Monday), make a joke about her asking if you like plants (indicating if you have any or not, uphill battle keeping them alive, etc.), but keep it short. Then, if you don’t hear back from her before early Tuesday evening, message her:

“I’m thinking of [xxxx restaurant] at 6pm on Thursday for our next time out together.”

Stop asking her questions. She hasn’t committed to a time yet because she wants to know where you plan on taking her first. Give her the chance to respond to this text.

I always tell people you need to match their energy but apparently decisive and not weak.

SaladZealousideal913 · 2026-02-02T18:42:30+00:00

How old are you?

Title	Not sure how to manage post hinge date.
Author	cooliothecoolio
Upvotes	2
Comments	40
Date	February 1, 2026 11:19 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qsvwvk/not_sure_how_to_manage_post_hinge_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-sure-how-to-manage-post-hinge-date.1572457 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572457

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